


Just A Game

by OOFOOFx3



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blood and Violence, Completed, Gen, Major Character Death(s), Multi, Murder, This Is A Big Fat Trigger Warning, ddlc spoilers (obvi)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2019-10-07 13:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 39
Words: 43,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17366822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OOFOOFx3/pseuds/OOFOOFx3
Summary: Hi, Keith here! Welcome to the Literature Club! It’s always been a dream of mine to make something special out of the things I love. Now that you’re a club member, you can help me make that dream come true!Every day is full of chit-chat and fun activities with all of my adorable and unique club members:Matt, the youthful bundle of sunshine who values happiness the most.Pidge, the deceivingly cute girl who packs an assertive punch.Lance, the comedic one with a love for memes and hentai.Hunk, the jolly and carefree guy who enjoys time in the kitchen....And, of course, Keith, the leader of the club!





	1. Chapter One

**This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed. Individuals who are suffering from anxiety or depression may not have a safe experience playing this game. For more content warnings, please visit** **http://vld.moe/warning.html**

**By playing VLD Literature Club, you agree that you are at least thirteen years of age, and you consent to your exposure of highly disturbing content.**

**Please enter your name.**

S-H-I-R-O.  
**___________________________**

"Heeeeeeyyy!"

I see a boy running towards me from the distance, waving his arms in the air as if he's totally oblivious to any attention he may draw to himself. That boy is Matthew, my neighbor and good friend since we were children.  
You know the kind of friend you'd never see yourself making today, but it just works out since you've known each other for so long? That's Matt. We used to walk to school together on days like these, but starting around high school he would oversleep more and more frequently and I would get tired of waiting up.

If he's going to chase after me like this I almost feel better off running away. However, I just sigh and idle in front of the crosswalk and let Matt catch up with me.

"Haaaaahhh...haaaahhh," He pants as he skids to a stop in front of me. "I overslept again!"  
I say nothing, only shaking my head in disappointment.

"But I caught you this time!" Matt grins and wipes sweat from his brow.

I roll my eyes. "Maybe, but only because I stopped to wait for you,"

The dirty-blonde boy pouts. "Eh? You say that like you were thinking about ignoring me!" He gives me a shove. "That's mean, Shiro!"

I eye him wearily.

"Fine, fine. But you waited for me, after all. I guess you don't have it in you to be mean, even if you want to," He smiles.

"Whatever you say, Matt,"

We cross the street and make our way to the school. As we draw near, the streets become increasingly speckled with other students making their daily commute.  
"By the way, Shiro..." Matt turns to me and I prepare myself for a stupid question. "Have you decided on a club yet?"

I raise a brow. "A club? I told you already, I'm not interested in joining any clubs. I haven't been looking, either,"

"That's not true!" Matt says.. "You told me you would join a club this year!"

"Did I?"

I'm sure it's possible I did, in one of our many conversations where I dismissively agree with whatever he's going on about. Matt likes to worry a little too much about me, even when I'm content just getting by on the average while spending my free time on games and anime.

"Uh-huh! I was talking about how I'm worried you won't learn how to socialize or have any skills before college!" Matt says. "Your happiness is really important to me... I know you're happy now, but I'd die at the thought of you becoming a failure in a few years because you're not used to the real world!"  
"Alright, alright... I'll look at a few clubs if it makes you happy," I pause. "No promises, though!"

Why do I let myself get lectured by such a carefree guy? More than that, I'm surprised I even let myself relent to him. I guess seeing him worry so much about me makes me want to ease his mind at least a little—even if he exaggerates everything inside of his head.

The school day is as ordinary as ever and it's over before I know it. After I pack up my things, I stare blankly at the wall, looking for an ounce of motivation.  
"Clubs..." I mutter. Matt wants me to check out some clubs. I guess I have no choice but to start with the anime club...

"Hellooo?"

I perk up. "Matt?"

Matt must've come into the classroom while I was spacing out. I look around and realize I'm the only one left in the room.

"I thought I'd catch you coming out the door, but I saw you just sitting here and spacing out, so I came in," Matt beams. "You're even worse than me sometimes... I'm impressed!"

I sling my bag over my shoulder, wincing upon noticing how heavy it is. "You don't need to wait for me if it's going to make you late to your own club,"

Matt shifts his gaze to the wall behind me. "I thought you might need some encouragement, so I thought, you know..."

"Know what?"

"Well..." He tugs on the cuffs of his uniform sleeves. "You could come to my club!"

I bite back a groan. "Matt..."

"Yeah?!"

"There is no way I'm going to your club,"

Matt is the Vice President of the Literature Club. Not that I was aware he had any interest in literature. In fact, I'm 99% sure he only did it because he thought it would be fun to help start a new club. Since he was the first one to show interest after the one who proposed the club, he inherited the title "Vice President". With that said, I guarantee my interest in literature to be even less.

"Yeah. I'm going to the anime club," I stand from my seat and prepare to dart out the door.  
Matt puts his hand on my shoulder to stop me. "C'mon, please?"

I shrug him off. "Why do you care so much, anyway?"

"Well..." He lowers his voice and I recognize the guilty look on his face. It's the same look he gives me when he drops a plate or asks to copy my homework. "I kinda-sorta-maybe told the club yesterday I would bring a new member... Hunk made cupcakes and everything..."  
Matt giggles sheepishly.

I can't tell if Matt is that much of an airhead, or if he's so cunning to have planned all of this out. I let out a long sigh. "Fine. I'll stop by for a cupcake, okay?"

And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul for a cupcake. I follow Matt across the school and upstairs—a section of the school I rarely visit, being used for third-year classes and activities. Matt, full of energy, swings open the classroom door.

"Everyone! The new member is here!" Matt sings.

I prod him in the shoulder, whispering lowly so no one else can hear me. "I told you, don't call me a 'new member—,"

"Welcome to the Literature Club. It's a pleasure meeting you," A rather plump and dark-skinned boy says. "Matt always says nice things about you,"

"Seriously? You brought a weeb?!" A lanky second-year student howls from across the room.

"Shiro!" Someone I recognize gasps. "What a nice surprise! Welcome to the club!"

All words escape me in this situation. This club... _is full of incredibly attractive men._

"What are you looking at?!" The shortest guy—who upon closer inspection I realize is actually a girl—spits in my face. "If you want to say something, say it,"

"Sorry," I mumble.

"Pidge..." The chubby boy sighs.

The girl with the sour attitude, whose name is apparently Pidge, is one I don't recognize. Her small figure makes me think she's a first-year.

"You can just ignore her when she gets moody-," Matt says into my ear, then turns back to the other members. "Anyway! This is Pidge, always full of energy. That's Hunk. He made the cupcakes. Over there is Lance, the dude reading a manga,"

"Manga is literature!" He shouts as he looks up from the manga, as if to justify his taste.

"And it sounds like you already know Keith, is that right?" Matt gestures to the familiar one who spoke to me earlier.  
"That's right," Keith says. "It's great to see you again, Shiro," He smiles at me.

We do know each other—well, we rarely talked, but we were in the same class last year. Keith was probably the most popular person in class—smart, attractive, athletic. He was more of a loner in the beginning of high school, but he eventually expanded his horizons and made himself a name through socializing. Basically, completely out of my league. So having him smile at me so genuinely feels a little...

"Y-You too, Keith,"

Matt claps me on the back. "Come sit, Shiro! We made room for you at the table, so you can sit next to me or Keith," He jumps up and down excitedly. "I'll get the cupcakes!"

Hunk coughs into the crook of his elbow. "I made them, so I'll get them,"

Matt recoils. "Sorry, sorry. I got a little too excited..."

The club has a few desks arranged to form a table. As Matt mentioned, they've widened it so there's one space next to Keith and one space next to Matt. Hunk travels to the far corner of the room, where he grabs a wrapped tray. Still feeling awkward, I take a seat next to Matt.

Hunk proudly marches to the table, tray in hand. "Okaaaay... Are you ready?"  
He rips the foil from the tray to reveal a dozen white, fluffy cupcakes decorated to look like little cats. The whiskers are drawn with icing and little pieces of chocolate were used to make ears.

"So kawaii!!" Matt screeches.

"I had no idea you were so good at baking, Hunk," Pidge says with wide eyes.

Hunk shrugs, pink dusting his cheeks. "Just hurry and take one!"

Matt grabs one first and I follow.

"It's dewishous!" Matt says with his mouth full. He's already managed to get icing on his face.

I turn the cupcake around in my fingers, looking for the best angle to take a bite. Hunk is quiet. I can't help but notice him sneaking glances in my direction. Is he waiting for me to take a bite? I finally chomp down. The icing is sweet and full of flavor.  
"This is fantastic," I say, covering my mouth with my hand so the club doesn't see the inside of my mouth as I chew. "Thank you, Hunk,"

Lance raises an eyebrow at me as I catch him grabbing another cupcake from the tray. He raises his finger to his lips, almost as if to tell me "Shhhhh....".

"What made you consider the Literature Club?" Keith's voice yanks me away from my moment with Lance.

I was afraid of this question. Something tells me I shouldn't tell Keith Matt dragged me here.

"I haven't joined any clubs yet, and Matt seemed happy here..."

Matt beams at me from his seat.

Keith flashes me a grin. "That's okay! Don't be embarrassed! We'll make sure you feel right at home!" The long-haired club leader puffs out his chest. "As President of the Literature Club, it's my duty to make the club fun and exciting for everyone!"

I raise a brow, straightening my posture. "Keith, I'm surprised. How come you decided to start your own club? You could be a board member for any of the major clubs," I think about last year. "Weren't you the leader of the debate club at some point?"

Keith rakes his fingers through his locks of black hair. "To be honest, I can't stand all the politics around the major clubs. It's nothing but arguing about the budget and publicity and how to prepare for events,"

I nod. "That must get.. overwhelming,"

"I'd much rather take something I enjoy and make something special out of it. If it encourages others to get into literature, then I'm fulfilling that dream!"

"Keith really is a great leader," Matt admires. Hunk and Pidge nod in agreement. Lance has his nose buried in a manga.

"I'm surprised there aren't more people in here yet. It must be hard to start a new club,"

Keith hums. "You could put it that way, Shiro. Not many people are interested in putting forth all the effort to start something brand new,"

"Especially when it's something that doesn't grab your attention, like literature," Hunk pipes up. "You have to work hard to convince people you're both fun and worthwhile,"

"It makes school events, like the festival, much more important," Keith continues. "I'm confident we can all grow this club before we graduate! Right, everyone?"

"Yeah!" Matt cheers. He high-fives Hunk and Pidge.

"You know it," Lance says without looking up from his manga. I notice he's reading it backwards, left to right instead of right to left.

Such different people, all pursuing the same goal... Keith must've worked hard to find these four. Maybe that's why they're so delighted by the idea of a new member joining.  
I still don't know if I can keep up with their level of enthusiasm about literature. 

"So, Shiro... What kinds of things do you like to read?" Keith says as soon as the group disperses once more.  
Considering how little I've read these past few years, I don't have a good way of answering that.  
"...Manga..." I mutter to myself, half-joking.

Lance's head perks up. It looks like he wants to say something, but he keeps quiet.

"Not much of a reader, I guess..." Keith turns red and looks away.

"What about you, Keith?" I attempt to switch his focus to lighten the mood and ease the tension.

"My favorites are novels the build deep and complex fantasy worlds. The level of creativity and craftsmanship behind them is astonishing... And telling a good story in such a foreign world is equally impressive," Keith goes on, clearly passionate about his reading. "But I like a lot of things. Stories with deep psychological elements immerse me as well. Isn't it amazing how a writer can so deliberately take advantage of your own lack of imagination and completely throw you for a loop? I've been reading a lot of horror lately..."

"Ah, I read a horror book once..." I desperately grasp something I can relate to at the minimal level. At this rate, Keith may as well be having a conversation with a rock.

"Really? I wouldn't have expected that, Keith," Lance slides into the desk beside me.

Keith's fingers dig into the arm of his chair, his eye twitching with visible agitation. "I guess you could say that... But if a story makes me think, or takes me to another world, then I really can't put it down. Surreal horror is often very successful at changing the way you look at the world, if only for a brief moment,"

"I hate horror..." Lance crosses his arms.

"Why's that?" Keith tenses.

Lance pauses. "Well... I just..." His eyes dart over to me for a split second. "Never mind. You like to write about cute things, don't you, Pidge?" He shakes off his previous comment, having found another person to tease.

Pidge jerks up from her seat. "What?"

"You left a piece of scrap paper behind last club meeting. It looked like you were working on a poem called—,"

"No!" Pidge hisses at him. "And give that back!"

"You write poems?" I lean back in my chair, scratching the back of my neck thoughtfully.

Pidge switches gears and turns to me. "Sometimes... Why do you care?"

I smile. "I think that's impressive. Why don't you share them sometime?"

"No," Pidge adverts her eyes. "You wouldn't like them...."

"Not a confident writer yet?"

Hunk saves her from answering. "I understand how she feels. Sharing that level of writing takes more than just confidence,"

"Do you have writing experience too, Hunk?" Keith asks. "Maybe if you share some of your work, you can set an example and help Pidge feel comfortable enough to share hers,"

Hunk's cheeks burn red as he shrinks into his seat.

"I guess it's the same for Hunk..." I shrug.

Matt whines from beside me. "Aww... I wanted to read everyone's poems,"

We all sit in silence for a moment.

"Okay!" Keith's voice makes me jump. "I have an idea, everyone. Let's all go home and write poems of our own! Next time we meet, we'll share them with one another. That way, everyone is even,"

Hunk shifts his weight left to right uneasily. Lance shakes his head. "Nope,"

"Yeaaah! Let's do it!" Matt cheers.

Keith continues upon hearing Matt's approval. "Plus, now that we have a new member, I think it will help us get a little more comfortable with each other and strengthen the bond of the club," He looks at me expectantly. "Isn't that right, Shiro?"

"Hold on..." I blink and get to my feet. Now that we're back to the original topic of me joining the club, I come forth with what's been on my mind the entire time. "I never said I would join this club. Matt may have convinced me to stop by, but I never made any decision,"  
A light of shame flickers in my gut.  
"I still have other clubs to look at, and... Uh,"  
I lose my train of thought.

All five members stare back at me with dejected eyes.

"B-But..." Keith swallows and looks at the ground.  
"I'm sorry, I thought..." Pidge sighs.  
"Oof..." Lance rolls his eyes.  
"Ugh," Hunk facepalms.  
Matt gives me puppy-dog eyes. "Shiro..."  
My breath catches in my chest. "Y-You all..."

I'm defenseless against them. How am I supposed to make a clear-headed decision when it's like this? That is, if writing poems is the price I need to pay I order to spend every day with them...

"...Right," I finally say. I glance around at the sad faces in front of me. "I've made a choice... I'll join the Literature Club,"

One by one, their eyes light up.

"Yesss! I'm so happy!" Matt wraps his arms around me, jumping up and down.

Hunk groans. "If you came here just for the cupcakes, I would be super pissed,"

"Then that makes it official!" Keith throws his arms in the air with a grin on his face. "Welcome to the Literature Club!"

I wheeze, finally ripping Matt's arms from my waist. "Ah... Thanks. I guess,"

"Okay, everyone!" The club president announces. "I think with that, we can end today's meeting on a good note. Remember tonight's assignment! Write a poem to bring to the next meeting so we can all share!" Keith looks at me once more. "Shiro, I look forward to seeing how you express yourself,"

Can I really impress the class star Keith with my mediocre writing skills?

I already feel the anxiety welling up inside me. Meanwhile, the members continue to chit-chat as Pidge and Hunk clean up the food.

"Hey, Shiro, since we're already here, do you want to walk home together?" Matt interrupts my thoughts.

That's right—Matt and I never walk home together anymore because he always stayed after school for clubs.

With that, the two of us depart the clubroom and make our way home. The whole way, my mind wanders back and forth between the five club members: Matt, Hunk, Lance, Pidge, and of course, Keith. Will I really be happy spending every day after school in a literature club? Perhaps I'll have the chance to grow closer to one of them... I just need to make the most of my circumstances and I'm sure good fortune will find me. I guess that starts with writing a poem tonight.

 


	2. Chapter Two

"Hi again, Shiro!" Keith greets me at the door. "Glad to see you didn't run away on us!"

I'm back at the Literature Club. I was last to come in, so everyone else is already hanging out.

"Don't worry. This may be a little strange for me, but I at least keep my word," I say.

"Thanks for keeping your promise, Shiro," Hunk smiles at me. "I hope this isn't too overwhelming for you,"

"Making you dive headfirst into literature when you're not accustomed to it..." Pidge adds. I see a folded sheet of paper in her hand.

"Oh, come on! Like he deserves any slack!" Lance huffs, resting his hands on his hips. "Matt told me you didn't want to join any clubs this year! I don't know if you plan to just come here and hang out, or what... But if you don't take us seriously, you won't see the end of it!"

"Lance, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps his manga collection in the clubroom," Keith extends an index finger and I follow it to where he points to a closet hidden away in the corner.

Swiftly defeated, Lance plops back into his seat.

Matt slides in. "Don't sweat it, guys. Shiro always gives it his best as long as he's having fun. He helps me with busywork without me even asking. Like cooking, cleaning my room..."

"How dependable..." Keith hums.

I butt in so Keith doesn't get the wrong idea. "Matt, that's because your room is so messy it's distracting. And you almost set your house on fire once,"

"Okay, everyone!" Keith shouts from the center of the room. "I think it's about time we share today's poems with each other! We might not have enough time if we wait too long,"

"Ah..." Hunk groans. "I wasn't looking forward to this,"

"Are you okay, Hunk? You look at bit down. I'm sorry if this is hard for you," Keith pats Hunk's shoulder. He turns to me. "Did you remember to write a poem last night?"

"Yeah..." My relaxation ends. I can't believe I agreed to do something so embarrassing. I couldn't find much inspiration since I've never done this before.

"Now that everyone's ready, why don't you find someone to share with?" He smiles, gesturing to the club members around us.  
"I can't wait!" Matt squeals. I cringe and resist covering my ears. 

Matt and Keith enthusiastically pull out their poems. Matt's poem is on a wrinkled sheet of loose leaf torn from a spiral notebook. On the other hand, Keith wrote his in a composition notebook. I can already see Keith's pristine handwriting from where I sit. Lance and Hunk reluctantly comply as well, reaching into their bags. I do the same.

"Hi, Shiro!" Keith says as I walk up to him. "Having a good time so far?"

"Ah... Yeah," I look at the folded sheet of notebook paper in my hand.

"If you ever have any suggestions for the club, like new activities, or things we can do better... I'm always listening! Don't be afraid to bring things up, okay?"

I swallow. "Sure thing, Keith,"

Of course I'll be afraid to bring things up. I'm much better off just going with the flow until I'm more settled in.

"Anyway... Wanna share your poem with me?" Keith gives me a reassuring smile.

My fear spikes. "It's kind of embarrassing, but I guess I have to..."

"Don't worry, Shiro... We're all a little embarrassed today, you know? But it's that barrier we'll all learn to get past soon,"

"Yeah, that's true," I hand Keith my poem.

"Mhm! Great job, Shiro!" Keith says after going over it. "I was going 'Ooh' in my head while reading it. It's really metaphorical! I'm not sure why, but I didn't expect you to go for something so deep,"

I laugh nervously and scratch the back of my neck.

"I guess I underestimated you!" Keith says as he hands it back to me.

"It's easiest for me to keep everyone's expectations low," I fold it up again. "That way, it always counts when I put in some effort,"

"This kind of writing is impressive, Shiro... Full of imagery and symbolism. It leaves the audience to derive their own meaning out of it. It's very challenging to write like that effectively,"

"I'm sure I'm nowhere near that level yet,"

"Don't worry so much about that!" He pats my back gently. "You do your own thing. Keep exploring and learn from trying new things!"

I nod. "I'm sure I'll end up trying different things a lot. It could take a while before I'm comfortable doing this,"

"That's okay," Keith opens his composition notebook. "I'd love to see you try new things. That's the best way to find the kind of style that suits you. Everyone one else might be a little bit biased toward their own kinds of styles... But I'll always help you find what suits you the most!"

We share a small laugh.

"Anyway, do you want to read my poem now? Don't worry, I'm not very good,"

"You sound pretty confident for someone who claims to not be very good," I bite my lip.

"That's because I have to sound confident. That doesn't mean I always feel that way," Keith laughs.  
"I see... Let's read it, then,"  
  


_Hole in Wall_  
_Poem by Keith Kogane_

_It couldn't have been me._  
_See, the direction the spackle protrudes._  
_A noisy neighbor? An angry boyfriend? I'll never know. I wasn't home._  
_I peer inside for a clue._  
_No! I can't see. I reel, blind, like a film left out in the sun._  
_But it's too late. My retinas._  
_Already scorched with a permanent copy of the meaningless image._  
_It's just a little hole. It wasn't too bright._  
_It was too deep._  
_Stretching forever into everything._  
_A hole of infinite choices._  
_I realize now, that I wasn't looking in._  
_I was looking out._  
_And he, on the other side, was looking in._  
  


"So..." Keith clicks his tongue. "What do you think?"

I pause to think. "It's very... Freeform? If that's what you call it. Sorry, I'm not really the right person to ask for feedback,"

He puts his hand on his hip. "That kind of style has gotten pretty popular nowadays. A lot of poems have been putting emphasis on the timing between words and lines. When performed out loud, it can be really powerful,"

"What was the inspiration behind this one?"

"Ah..." Keith puts his finger in his mouth. "I'm not sure if I know how to put it... You could say I've had some sort of epiphany recently,"

I raise my eyebrows. "An epiphany?"

"Yeah... Something like that," Keith shakes his head as if to disperse any more of my questions. "I'm nervous to talk about deep stuff like that, because it's kind of coming on strongly,"

"Maybe after everyone's better friends with each other?"

"Sure thing. Anyway..." He coughs into his elbow and changes the subject. "Here's Keith's Writing Tip of the Day! Sometimes when you're writing a poem—or story—your brain gets too fixated on a specific point... If you try so hard to make it perfect, then you'll never make any progress. Just force yourself to get something down on the paper and tidy it up later. Another way to think about it is this: If you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink. So move your hand and go with the flow!"

"Thanks, Keith," I nod and we walk away from each other to show our poems to someone else.

I approach Pidge.

"Well... It's about what I expected from someone like you," She says after reading my poem.

"That's a little blunt," I blink.

"Excuse me...? I didn't say it was bad," Pidge continues, reading it again. "It just didn't evoke any emotions," She hands it back to me.

"So basically, it's not cute enough for your tastes?"

Pidge raises her hand in the air and grits her teeth. "Do you want to get smacked?!"

"I'll pass..." I lower her hand.

She sighs. "Anyway... I guess I need to show you mine..."  
  


_Eagles Can Fly_  
_Poem by Pidge Gunderson_

_Monkeys can climb_  
_Crickets can leap_  
_Horses can race_  
_Owls can seek_  
_Cheetahs can run_  
_Eagles can fly_  
_People can try_  
_But that's about it._  
  


"I knew you weren't gonna like it..." Pidge looks at the ground, adjusting her glasses.

"I like it,"

"What?" She jerks her head up. "Just be honest,"

"I am," I shrug. "Why are you so convinced I won't like it?"

Pidge crosses her arms. "Everyone in high school thinks writing has to be sophisticated and stuff... People don't take my writing seriously,"

I squint, looking over her poem a second time. "But isn't the point of poems for people to express themselves? Your writing style wouldn't make your message any less valid,"

"Yes!" She claps. "Exactly! I like when it's easy to read, but it hits you hard. Like in this poem... Seeing everyone around you do great things can be really disheartening. So, I decided to write about it!"

"Yeah, I understand,"

"But the other nice thing about simple writing is it puts more weight on the wordplay. I set it up for a rhyme at the end, but made it fall flat on purpose. It brings out the feeling in the last line,"

I hum and nod. "More work went into it than I realized,"

Pidge puts her hands on her hips. "That's what is means to be a pro! I'm glad you learned something. You didn't expect that from the youngest one here, did you?"

"Yeah..." I nod again. "I guess not,"

I humor her with that last comment. I don't care how old everyone is, but if Pidge is feeling proud then I won't take that away from her. I shuffle over to Matt and hand him my work.

"This is a good poem, Shiro! Are you sure it's your first time?" He compliments after reading it many times.

"Of course," I shrug. "It's not that good... Am I the kind of guy who would write poems in his spare time?"

Matt giggles. "You're right. But that's why it impressed me! To be honest, I was afraid you wouldn't do it seriously... Or you wouldn't write one at all,"

"Er... Of course," I reply after he hands it back to me. "I'm not really into it yet... But that doesn't mean I'll break my promise,"

"See? It's like I said before, Shiro... Deep down, you're not selfish at all, you know?"

Was that supposed to be an insult?

"Trying new things like this for other people..." Matt sighs happily. "It's something only good people do!"

"Thanks... Matt,"

I'm not sure if Matt sees the full picture of my motive here. Then again... I can't deny he's part of the reason I joined, knowing how much this means to him and all.

"Yeah!" He jabs my shoulder with the eraser end of a pencil. "And I'm gonna make sure you have lots of fun here, okay?"

I gently brush away his writing utensil. "I'm going to hold you to that, then..."

"Yay! Now, you'll read my poem too, right?"

 

_Dear Sunshine_  
_Poem by Matthew Holt_

_The way you glow through my blinds in the morning_  
_It makes me feel like you missed me._  
_Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed._  
_Making me rub the sleepy from my eyes._

_Are you asking me to come out and play?_  
_Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?_  
_I look above. The sky is blue._  
_It's a secret, but I trust you too._

_If it weren't for you, I could sleep forever._  
_But I'm not mad._

_I want breakfast._  
  


"Matt... This is just a guess, but..." I shake my head and let out a sigh. "Did you wait until this morning to write this?"

"No!" Matt jerks back. "Just a little bit...!"

I hand the wrinkled sheet of paper back to my friend. "You can't answer 'just a little bit' to a yes or no question..."

Matt caves in. "I forgot to do it last night... Don't be mean! I still tried my best!"

"Ah, yeah. I didn't mean to say it was a bad poem. It came out nice... Or, how should I put it..." I pause to find the right phrase. "It sounds like you,"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Especially that last line..." I smile.

"I made eggs and toast!"

I give a soft chuckle. "Even though you were late to school...?"

"It's bad to skip breakfast..." He crosses his arms. "I get cranky... Next time, I won't forget. I'm gonna write the best poem ever!"

I grin. "I'll look forward to it,"

I glance around the room. That was a little more stressful than I anticipated. It's as if everyone is judging me for my mediocre writing abilities... Even if they're just being nice, there's no way my poems can stand up to theirs. This is a literature club, after all. I sigh. I guess that's what I ended up getting myself into.

"Okay, everyone!" Keith draws my focus back to reality. "How did you all feel about sharing poems?"

"It was a lot of fun!" Matt cheers.

"Shiro, how about you?" Keith turns to me expectantly.

I nod. "I'd say the same. It was a neat thing to talk about with everyone,"

The club leader smiles at me before looking back at the other members. "Awesome! In that case, we'll do the same thing tomorrow,"

I suppress a groan.

"Shiro!" Matt calls from the other side of the from. He runs over to me. "Ready to walk home?"

"Sure," I smile. "Let's go,"

Matt beams at me. It truly has been a while since Matt and I have spent this much time together. I can't say I'm not enjoying it, either.

"You know, Shiro... It's nice I get to spend time with you in the club," He starts as we walk out the school and into the street. "But I think seeing you get along with everyone else is what makes me the happiest. I think everyone likes you, too!"

"That's—!"

Matt laughs and we turn onto our street. "Every day is going to be so much fun!"

I sigh. It looks like Matt still hasn't caught onto the kind of situation I'm in. Sure, being friends with everyone is nice, but...

"We'll just have to see what the future holds, Matt," I pat him on the shoulder.

I said that more to myself than to him, but it's easy to use Matt as an internal monologue sometimes.

I learned a little more about the kinds of poems everyone likes. With any luck, that means I can at least do a better job impressing those I want to impress. I nod to myself with newfound determination.

 


	3. Chapter Three

Another day passes and it's time for the club meeting already. I've gotten a little more comfortable here over the past few days. As I enter the clubroom, the usual scene greets me.

"Hi, Shiro!" Matt waves from where he sits at a desk.

"Looks like you're in a good mood today," I acknowledge as I approach him. 

He laughs. "I'm just still not used to you being in the club, that's all,"

"That's a pretty simple thing to get you in a good mood, but I guess it's always the simple things with you, anyway," I humor him.

"Speaking of which..." Matt rubs his stomach. "I'm kinda hungry. Will you come with me to buy a snack?

"No thanks,"

"What? That's not like you at all!" His eyes widen. 

I shrug. "I have my reasons... Why don't we take a look at your wallet, Matt?"

Matt flinches before reaching into his back pocket. "Why that... All of a sudden?"

"No reason. I just want to look at it,"

Matt nervously retrieves his wallet. He fumbles with the latch before getting it open. Then, he turns it upside down and lets its contents spill onto the desk. Only two small coins fall out.

"I knew it!" I shout. "I can see right through you, Matt!"

Matt whines and scrapes the coins off the desk. He tosses them back into his wallet. "How did you even know?"

I shrug and let a smug grin creep its way across my mouth. "Simple. If you had enough money in the first place, you would have bought a snack before coming to the clubroom. So, either you're not hungry and wanted an excuse to take a walk... Or you planned to conveniently forget you spent all your money so I would lend you some! But there's one more thing... You're always hungry! That leaves only one option...."

"Dammit!" Matt whines again like a small child. "Uwaaah! I give up! Don't make me feel guilty!"

"If you feel guilty, that means you deserve to feel guilty," I quote a fable I was forced to read in fifth grade. 

Lance suddenly chuckles from a desk nearby. I didn't notice he was listening. His face is hidden in a manga.

"Laaaance....!" Matt grumbles, stepping closer to him. "Tell Shiro to let me borrow some money!"

Lance shakes his head before shoving it back in the manga. "Leave me alone with my hent—," He catches himself. "Manga...! Don't get me involved,"

"Besides," I add. "You should only buy what you can responsibly afford. Frankly, after pulling a mischievous stunt like that, your suffering is fair enough retribution,"

ers forced me to read in fifth grade. 

Lance suddenly chuckles from a desk nearby. I didn't notice he was listening. His face is hidden in a manga.

"Laaaance....!" Matt grumbles, stepping closer to him. "Tell Shiro to let me borrow some money!"

Lance shakes his head before shoving it back in the manga. "Leave me alone with my hent—," He catches himself. "Manga...! Don't get me involved,"

"Besides," I add. "You should only buy what you can responsibly afford. Frankly, after pulling a mischievous stunt like that, your suffering is fair enough retribution,"

"You're right, Shiro. I did something bad and now I have to accept the revolution," Matt nods his head solemnly.

"Retribution..."

"That! Yes!"

"I guess there's a little devil inside all of us, isn't there?" I laugh. "After all, Matt told you guys he was bringing me to the club before he even told me..."

Matt gasps. "But! You wouldn't have come if it weren't for the cupcakes... So I had to trick Hunk into making them!"  
I groan. "C'mon, give me more credit than that, Matt,"

_Pwap!_

"Kyaaa—!" Out of nowhere, something smacks Matt in the face and tumbles onto the desk. "What was—A cookie?!" He screeches.

Sure enough, it's a giant cookie wrapped in plastic.

Matt glances around. "Is this a miracle? It's because I paid my restitution!"

"Retribution..."

"Actually, that one almost worked,"

Hunk bursts out laughing from a few desks away. "I was just gonna give it to you, but then I heard you blab about the cupcakes... It was totally worth seeing your reaction, though!"

"Hunk!" Matt hugs the cookie. "That's so nice of you! I'm so happy..."

"Jeez, just eat it already..."

Matt rapidly tears open the wrapper and takes a big bite. "Sho good... Mmf!" He suddenly clasps his hand over his mouth. "I bit my tongue!"

Hunk snorts. "You're going through a lot over just one cookie," He takes a bite of his own cookie.

"Aw! Yours looks really good too!" Matt swallows another chunk of cookie. "Can I try it?"

"Geez," Hunk shakes his head and peels off some more of the wrapper. "Beggars can't be choosers!"

Matt whines like a small child. "But yours is chocolate..."

"Why do you think I gave you that one?"

"Fine," He rolls his eyes. "Still, I'm really happy you shared this one with me,"

Matt gets out of his seat and goes behind Hunk, then wraps his arms around him.  
"Ah! Jesus.... I get it, I get it," Cookie still in hand, Hunk reaches up to nudge Matt away.

_"...Om,"_

Matt suddenly leans down and takes a bite out of Hunk's cookie.

"Hey! Did you seriously just do that?!" Hunk yelps, pulling his cookie to his chest.

Matt laughs and huffs cookie crumbs onto the floor. Mouth full, he trots away to safety. Lance and I laugh as well.

"You're such a kid sometimes..." Hunk groans. "Keith, can you tell Matt—Eh?" He glances around. Keith isn't in the clubroom. "Uh... Where's Keith, anyway?"

Lance furrows his eyebrows. "Good question,"

"Have any of you heard anything about him being late today?" I ask. The club members shake their heads.

"I hope he's okay..." Matt looks at the ground, studying his shoes.

"Oh course he's okay! He probably just had something more important to do today!" Pidge huffs. 

"Eh? You don't think he..." Lance's eyes widen. "He has a...?!"

Hunk chuckles. "I wouldn't be surprised. He's probably more desirable than all of us combined,"

"That's true," Matt nods.

Suddenly, the door swings open.

"Sorry! I'm super sorry!" In stumbles Keith. "I didn't mean to be late... I hope you guys weren't worried or anything!"

Matt tilts his head, puzzled. "Eh? Keith chose the club over his girlfriend, after all!" He gasps and throws his hands in the air. "You're so strong-willed!"

"Girlfriend...?" Keith snorts. "What on Earth are you talking about?" He quizzically glances at me.

"Never mind that.... What held you up, anyway?" I change the subject.

"My last period was study hall. To be honest, I sorta lost track of time..." He laughs.

"That makes no sense, though," Pidge squints her eyes. She taps her foot on the floor. "You would have heard the bell ring, at least,"

Keith shrugs, looking away. "I must have not heard it, since I was practicing piano..."

"Piano?" Lance leans forward in his seat. "You play piano? Since when?"

"Ah... I picked it up recently. I've always wanted to learn piano,"

"That's so cool...!" Matt bounces up and down. He takes a bite of his cookie. "You should play something for us, Keith!"

"That's...." Keith looks at me. "Maybe once I get a little better, I will,"

"That sounds nice. I'd look forward to it," I smile at him in hopes of easing his worries.

"Is that so? In that case..." He clears his throat and speaks with a new confidence. "I won't let you down, Shiro," He grins sweetly.

"I didn't mean any pressure or anything like that!"

Keith laughs. "Don't worry. I've been practicing a whole lot lately and I'd like the chance to share once I'm ready,"

"I see..." I nod with encouragement. "Best of luck to you,"

"I didn't miss anything, did I?"

I choose to leave out Matt's mischievous escapade. I'm sure Hunk will complain to him later, anyway. "No, not really,"

It looks like everyone has already settled down. Matt somehow already finished his cookie. Hunk is reading a book and Lance has disappeared into the closet.

"Ugh!" I hear Lance utter an exasperated sigh from within the closet. I approach him, in case he needs a hand.

"You looking for something in there?"

"Freaking Keith!" He mutters. "He never puts my stuff back in the right spot! What's the point in keeping your collection organized if someone else is just gonna come along and mess it up?" 

Lance slides a bunch of stacked books and boxes across the shelf. 

"Manga..." I whisper under my breath. 

"You read manga, right?" He whips around.

"Ah—," I pause. "Sometimes,"

Manga is one of those things you can't admit you're really into until you figure out where the other person stands.

"How did you know, anyway?"

Lance shrugs, continuing to rummage through the piles of manga. "I heard you bring it up at some point. Besides, it's kind of written on your face,"

What's that supposed to mean?

"I-I see..."

There's a lone volume of manga amidst a stack of various books on the side of one of the shelves. Curious, I pull it out of the stack.

"There it is!" Lance snatches it out of my hand. He then turns a box of manga and slips the volume right into the middle of the rest. "Much better!" He lets out a sigh of relief. "Seeing a box set with one book missing is probably the most irritating sight in the world,"

"I know that feel," I get a closer look at the box set he's admiring. "Parfait Girls...?"

It's a series I've never heard of in my life. That probably means it's either way out of my demographic, or it's simply terrible.

"If you're gonna judge, you can do it through the glass on that door," Lance huffs.

I throw my hands in the air defensively. "Hey! I wasn't judging! I didn't even say anything,"

"It was the tone of your voice," He smirks, pulling the first volume from the box set. "But I'll tell you one thing, Shiro. Consider this a lesson straight from the Literature Club: Don't judge a book by its cover! In fact—," He shoves the book right into my hands. "I'm gonna show you exactly why!"

I stare at the cover. It features four girls in colorful attire striking animated feminine poses. It's exceedingly... Moe.

"Don't just stand there!" Lance's shrill voice makes me jump. He grabs by arm and pulls me out of the closet. He then takes a seat against the wall, beneath the windowsills. He pats on the ground next to him, signaling me to join him.

"Wouldn't chairs be more comfortable?" I ask as I plop next to him.

"Chairs wouldn't work. We can't read at the same time like that,"

I tilt my head in confusion. "Ah... I guess it's easier to be close together like this..."

Lance squeals. "Don't say that! You'll make me feel weird about it!" He crosses his arms and scootches an inch away from me.

"Sorry,"

I didn't exactly expect to be sitting this close to him, either... Not that I can say it's a particularly bad thing. 

I open the manga. It's only a few seconds later before Lance once again inches closer, reclaiming the additional space while he hopes I don't notice. He's peering over my shoulder, much more eager to begin reading than I am.

"Wow..." Lance gasps. "How long has it been since I read the beginning?"

I raise my gaze from the book. "You don't go back and flip through the older volumes every now and then?"

He shrugs. "Not really. Maybe sometimes, after I've already finished the series. Hey, are you paying attention?"

I am, but nothing's happened yet, so I can talk at the same time. It looks like it's about a bunch of friends in high school. A typical slice-of-life affair. I grew out of these a while ago, since it's rare for the writing to be entertaining enough to make up for the lack of plot.

"What should I expect from this?" I gently tap my fingers on the front cover. "Is there going to be plot?"

Lance scoffs. "Obviously. You think I would enjoy something if it didn't have a plot?" He stops. "I guess I know what you're saying... A lot of the beginning is about simple things. There's a funny chapter where they're obsessed with the guy at the ice cream shop... But that just helps you get to know the characters! Later on, there's all kinds of drama... Like when they get into all their back stories and when the romance starts to happen,"

"Is that so? It sounds like you really know what you're talking about. Maybe I underestimated you," I smile, turning the page.

Lance laughs. His eyes widen. "Hey, wait! What's that supposed to mean?"

He gives me a little shove.

"I just meant I've never seen you at your full power!" I gesticulate wildly with my hands as I try to come up with something.

"Hmph! Good save..." He whines. It reminds me of Matt.

We read on for a few more minutes. I've finished a couple chapters at this point.

"Are you sure this isn't boring for you?" I ask.

Lance shakes his head. "Of course not!"

"Even though you're just watching me read...?"

"Well! I'm fine with that!"

I let out a sigh and turn the page. "If you say so... I guess it's fun sharing something you like with someone else. I always get excited when I convince any of my friends to pick up a series I enjoy. You get what I mean?"

"I wouldn't know," Lance bites his lip, looking away.

"What do you mean?" I close the manga on my thumb. "Don't you share your manga with your friends?"

"Could you not rub it in?" He hisses. "As if I could get my friends to read this... They think manga is for kids. I can't even bring it up without them being all like... Eh? You still haven't grown out of that yet?" The boy rolls his eyes. "Makes me want to punch them in the face,"

I nod. "Ugh. I know those kinds of people. It takes a lot of effort to fine friends who don't judge, much less friends who are also into it. I'm already kind of a loser, so I guess I gravitated towards the other losers over time. It's probably harder for someone like you..."

Lance closes his eyes for brief moment before they flutter open again. "Yeah... That's pretty accurate,"

Wait... _which part?_

"I can't even keep it in my own room," Lance looks at the floor by his feet. "I don't know what my dad would do if he found this... At least it's safe here in the clubroom. Except Keith was kind of a jerk about it... I can't win, can I?"

I smile and gesture to the book in my hands. "It paid off in the end, didn't it? Here I am, reading it,"

"It's not like that solves any of my problems,"

"Maybe," I pause. "But at least you're enjoying yourself, right?"

Lance sits up. "Jeez, that's enough. Are you gonna keep reading, or what?"

I flip the page. "Yeah, yeah..." Suddenly, Lance bursts into a fit of laughter.

"I totally forgot that happens!" Lance puts his finger to one of the panels. "Minori is my favorite character. You'll always feel a little bad for her, since she's always so unlucky. But it gets especially bad when—," He stops talking. His eyes widen as he covers his mouth. "I shouldn't talk about that yet. Just finish the chapter,"

"Okay, everyone!" Keith jerks us from our reading. "Are you all ready with today's poems?"

"Oh, come on!" Lance groans. "Could your timing be any worse, Keith?"

"Sorry! I need to make sure we have enough time!" He laughs. "Though, you two do look pretty cozy over there,"

Lance notices how close he's gotten to me. He hastily slides a good twelve inches away.

"Alright... I guess I'll stop here for now," I shut the book and make a mental note of where I left off. I hand it to Lance.

"You're just giving it back? Don't you wanna know what happens?"

I turn red. "Ah... Yeah, but—Keith just said..."

Lance crosses his arms, shoving the manga back into my hands. "Don't be dumb. Take it home with you,"

"Is that really alright?"

I say that mostly because I didn't plan on using my spare time to read this.

"Of course, stupid. It would take forever to finish if you didn't take it home," He rolls his eyes. "Just finish that one before tomorrow so we can start the next one. If it gets bent, I will kill you,"

By tomorrow? I've only got partway through the volume so far. I might fall behind on some shows if I try to get through this...

"Fine, then," I shove the volume into my bag, careful not to wrinkle any corners.

 


	4. Chapter Four

"Hi, Shiro! How's the writing going?" Keith smiles at me as I pull my poem from my back pocket.  
"Alright, I guess," I hand it to him.  
"I'll take that," He carefully unfolds the paper. "As long as it's not going bad!"

"Haha, yeah," I laugh anxiously.

"I'm so happy you're applying yourself. Maybe soon you'll come up with a masterpiece!"  
I bite my lip. "I wouldn't count on that, Keith,"  
Keith shrugs. "You'll never know!" He skims over the poem. "I like it, Shiro!"

"Really?" I blink in shock.

Keith looks at it again. "It's a lot funnier than I expected," He laughs.  
"Oh, jeez," I groan.  
"No, no! It makes me think of something Lance would write! He's a good writer, too," Keith explains. "So take that as a compliment!"

I laugh. "If you say so,"

"Yep! You want to read my poem now?" He says as he hands back my poem. "I like the way this one turned out, so I hope you do too,"

_Save me_   
_Poem by Keith Kogane_

_The colors, they won't stop._   
_Bright, beautiful colors_   
_Flashing, expanding, piercing_   
_Red, green, blue_   
_An endless_   
_Cacophony_   
_Of meaningless_   
_Noise_

_The noise, it won't stop._   
_Violent, grating waveforms_   
_Squeaking, screeching, piercing_   
_Sine, cosine, tangent_   
_Like playing a chalkboard on a turntable_   
_Like playing a vinyl on a pizza crust_   
_An endless_   
_Poem_   
_Of meaningless_   
_Noise_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_Load me._   
  


"Even more abstract than your last one, huh?" I say after I finish.  
Keith laughs. "I guess it's just the way I write. I'm sorry if you don't like it..."  
"No, I never said that!" I jump. "It's something I've never seen before, that's all,"

"I kind of like playing with my space on the paper..." Keith says thoughtfully. "Choosing where and how you space your words can totally change the mood of the poem. It's almost like magic. The way I wrote the lines really short makes it feel like they're trying to speak over the noise,"

"I see... It's still hard for me to tell what it's about, though,"

"Sometimes asking what a poem is about isn't the right question. A poem can be as abstract as a physical expression of a feeling or a conversation with the reader. Putting it that way, not every poem is about something," Keith takes the poem back. "Anyway... Here's Keith's Writing Tip of the Day! Sometimes, you'll find yourself facing a difficult decision... When that happens, don't forget to save your game! You never know when you might change your mind or something unexpected may happen!" He stops for a moment, his previous comment hanging in the air. He looks just as confused as I am. "Wait, what am I even talking about? Is this tip even about writing?"

_Save game?_   
**_Yes._ **

Keith laughs. "That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening!"

"This is goddamn awesome, Shiro," Lance hands me back my poem after I let him read it. "I liked your Big Chungus reference,"

I smile. "Thanks,"

"Don't be afraid to be a little more daring! Memes can go a long way, you know,"

_Meme Machine_   
_Poem by Lance McClain_

_It happened in the dead of night as I was slicing bread for a guilty snack._   
_My attention was caught by the screeching of Shrek outside my window._   
_That was, I believe, the first time I noticed my strange tendencies as an unordinary human._

_I gave Shrek a piece of bread, my subconscious well-aware of the consequences._   
_Well-aware a fed Shrek will always come back for more._   
_The enticing beauty of my cutting knife was the symptom._   
_The bread, my hungry curiosity._   
_Shrek, an urge._

_The moon increments it's phase and reflects that much more light off my cutting knife._   
_The very same light that glistens in the eyes of my Shrek friend._   
_I slice the bread, fresh and soft. Shrek becomes excited._

_Shrek has taken to following me._   
_You could say we've gotten quite used to each other._   
_Shrek becomes hungry more and more frequently, so my bread is always handy._   
_Every time I brandish my cutting knife, Shrek shows me his excitement._   
_A rush of blood. Classic Pavlovian conditioning. I slice the bread._   
_And I feed myself again._

Lance looks at his feet. "I'm still not used to sharing my poems with people..."  
I nod. "It's more metaphorical than I expected from you,"

I don't know if it's my fault, but I can't begin to imagine what this poem is about.

"I know," Lance smiles.

"When I take it at face value, I can't figure out what it's supposed to mean," I hand the sheet of paper back to him.

"I think it's something different people can relate to in their own way. I wanted to express the way it feels to indulge in my weird hobbies," Lance begins with a more mature tone than usual. "The sort of things you have to keep to yourself, y'know?"

"Why do you keep them to yourself?"

"They're too embarrassing... And people would make fun of me, like they do to Pidge for being short," He smiles sadly.   
I pat him on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Ooh!" Matt throws a hand over his mouth with a loud and dramatic gasp. "It has nice feelings in it!"  
I lean over Matt's shoulder to look at the poem in his other hand. "Does that mean it's better than yesterday's?"  
He rubs his chin. "Hm, lemme think... I dunno! I like them both!"

"That's not very helpful, you know...." I take back the poem and shove it in my pocket. "I need criticism,"

"I'm not good at figuring out if poems are good or bad..." Matt bites his fingernails as he thinks. "That's why I go by my heart. If it makes me feel things, it must be a good poem!"

I'm not sure if that's exactly how it works... Then again, I guess conveying feelings is an important part of this whole thing.

I sigh. "Maybe. Honestly, I don't even know what kind of poems you like in the first place,"  
"Me neither!" Matt laughs.   
"Why don't you at least try and give it some thought?" I ask.

Matt gasps again. He slams a hand against his chest. "Aww! You wanna write something for me? That's so sweet of you!"

"Pfft... Yeah, right," I can't help but let my lips curl into a smile. "You're always thinking about other people. You need to think about yourself once in a while. If you don't, you might end up getting hurt at some point,"

Matt pauses. He studies his shoes before rolling his shoulders back in a careless shrug. "I don't really know what you're talking about, but I'll keep it in mind. I guess I like happy poems... Wait! Sometimes I like sad poems! I think I'd like a bit of both... There's a word for that, right?"

Melancholy?

"...Bittersweet!" He exclaims. "I like things that are happy and things that are sad,"

"Happy and sad?" I make a mental note before raising a brow in confusion. "I can't see you liking something sad, Matt,"  
"I like happy the most! But sometimes when you have a little raincloud in your head, a sad poem can give the little raincloud a hug and make a nice happy rainbow!" He giggles.

"That's unexpectedly poetic," I say in awe.

He tilts his head. "It is...? Maybe I'm getting better at expressing my feelings after all! Thanks, Shiro! I'm gonna go write that down, then. Take my poem!"

_Bottles_   
_Poem by Matthew Holt_

_I pop off my scalp like the lid of a cookie jar._   
_It's the secret place where I keep all my dreams._   
_Little bits of sunshine, all rubbing together like a bundle of kittens._   
_I reach inside with my thumb and forefinger and pluck one out._   
_It's warm and tingly._   
_But there's no time to waste! I put it in a bottle to keep it safe!_   
_And I put the bottle on the shelf with all of the other bottles._   
_Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in bottles all in a row._

_My collection makes me lots of friends._   
_Each bottle a starlight to make amends._   
_Sometimes my friend feels a certain way._   
_Down comes a bottle to save the day._

_Night after night, more dreams._   
_Friend after friend, more bottles._   
_Deeper and deeper my fingers go._   
_Like exploring a dark cave, discovering the secrets hiding in the nooks and crannies._   
_Digging and digging._   
_Scraping and scraping._

_I blow dust off my bottle caps._   
_It doesn't feel like time elapsed._   
_My empty shelf could use some more._   
_My friends look through my locked front door._

_Finally, all done. I open up, and in come my friends._   
_In they come, in such a hurry. Do they want my bottles that much?_   
_I frantically pull them from the shelf, one after the other._   
_Holding them out to each and every friend._   
_Each and every bottle._   
_But every time I let one go, it shatters against the tile between my feet._   
_Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in shards, all over the floor._

_They were supposed to be for my friends, my friends who aren't smiling._   
_They're all shouting, pleading. Something._   
_But all I hear is echo, echo, echo, echo, echo_   
_Inside my head._

"Holy crap," I say with wide eyes. I read it over again. "Matt, did you really write this?"  
Matt beams. "Of course I did! Didn't I tell you yesterday I was gonna write the best poem ever?"

My eyes flutter open and shut in shock. "I mean, I didn't expect anything like this from you,"

"Keith taught me a whole lot!" Matt points to the club leader proudly. "And I've been really in touch with my feelings recently..."

"I see that. It's almost kind of creepy," I say.  
He tilts his head. "Creepy? How?"  
I clear my throat. "Well, not exactly... I'm used to you being so cheerful,"

Matt continues to look at me with confusion.

"Never mind," I shake my head. "I'm thinking too hard about it. The point is, it came out good and you should be proud of it,"  
"Aw, thanks!" He throws his arms around me in a hug. "I feel like... I feel like I was meant to express myself this way... It helps me understand my own feelings a little bit better... Writing is magic!"

"You've gotten pretty passionate about this, huh?" I say after I manage to catch a breath through his tight hold. "I hope you keep it up,"  
"I'm gonna keep writing until I di҉e!" Matt cheers after finally releasing me.

I laugh. "Ahaha... Don't get ahead of yourself,"

Matt always had a habit of getting obsessed with something before dropping it no more than a week later, but seeing the passion in his eyes makes it hard for me to be pessimistic.

Pidge reads my poem. She keeps glancing at me, then back at the poem. By now, she must've read it more than once.

"Aren't you supposed to be bad at this?"

I squint. "Is that a compliment?"

"No! I mean, you know..." Pidge struggles to find the words she wants. "I just expected a lot less after what you showed me yesterday,"  
My shoulders roll into an awkward shrug. "I guess I just got lucky with this one,"

She coughs into her elbow. "Exactly! You just got lucky! Don't get used to it! You won't always manage to write poems this good,"

"So, that's how it is? My poem is good?"

"No! Why are you smiling? I didn't mean it like that!" Pidge shoves my poem back towards me. "Reading it again, I've decided it's not so great after all. I'll show you what real literature looks like!"

_Amy Likes Spiders_   
_Poem by Pidge Gunderson_

_You know what I heard about Amy?_   
_Amy likes spiders._   
_Icky, wriggly, hairy, ugly spiders!_   
_That's why I'm not friends with her._

_Amy has a cute singing voice._   
_I heard her singing my favorite love song._   
_Every time she sang the chorus, my heart would pound to the rhythm of the words._   
_But she likes spiders._   
_That's why I'm not friends with her._

_One time, I hurt my leg really bad._   
_Amy helped me up and took me to the nurse._   
_I tried not to let her touch me._   
_She likes spiders, so her hands are probably gross._   
_That's why I'm not friends with her._

_Amy has a lot of friends._   
_I always see her talking to people._   
_She probably talks about spiders._   
_What if her friends start to like spiders too?_   
_That's why I'm not friends with her._

_It doesn't matter if she has other hobbies._   
_It doesn't matter if she keeps it private._   
_It doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt anyone._

_It's gross._   
_She's gross._   
_The world is better off without spider lovers._

_And I'm gonna tell everyone._

"Not bad, right?" Pidge snorts.   
I nod thoughtfully. "It's quite a bit longer than yesterday's,"  
She rolls her eyes. "Yesterday's was way too short... I was only warming up! I hope you didn't think that was the best I could do,"

"No, of course not," I shake my head as I hand her the sheet of paper.

"The message is pretty straightforward in this poem," She accepts it, folding it up and shoving it in her pocket. "I doubt I should have to explain it. Sometimes, you can explain complicated issues with much simpler analogies... Anyone would agree the subject of this poem is an ignorant jerk,"

"Do you know people like that?" I ask, curious.

"Duh! It's how everyone thinks of my writing style and Lance's manga!" Pidge crosses her arms. "I wrote it to be easy to relate to... Everyone has some kind of weird hobby, or guilty pleasure. Something you're afraid if people find out, they'd make fun of you or think less of you... Who cares what someone else likes, as long as they're not hurting anyone and it makes them happy? People need to learn to respect others for liking weird things..."

I pause. "That's funny... Lance wrote about something similar today. He said his poem was about an unusual hobby of his. I didn't really get it, but he said something similar to you. People shouldn't make each other insecure about those things,"

"Really?" Pidge shifts her gaze. "Lance is pretty weird, so I wouldn't doubt he has some weird hobbies... Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

"Even if his writing style is different, I'm sure he'll appreciate the message in your poem," I glance to where Lance is seated across the room.

"It's what I do best, after all! I don't like writing unless there's a good message to take away from it," Pidge says proudly. "Conveying emotions is important, but I wanna make people think, not just feel. Remember that! I'm gonna write a good one for tomorrow, so look forward to it,"

"Okay, everyone!" Keith calls from the center of the room. "We're all done reading each other's poems, right? I have something extra planned today, so if everyone could come sit at the front of the room..."

"Is this about the festival...?" Pidge perks up.   
"Well, sort of—," Keith blinks.

"Ugh!" She groans. "Do we really have to do something for the festival? It's not like we can put anything good together in just a few days... We'll end up embarrassing ourselves instead of getting any new members,"

"Yeah!" Lance pipes up. "I don't like last-minute preparations,"

"Don't worry so much!" Keith flashes a big smile. "We'll keep it simple, okay? We won't need much more than a few decorations. Matt has been working on posters and I've designed some pamphlets we can give out during the event,"

Pidge props her hand on her hip. "That's great and all, but that doesn't tell us what we're actually going to be doing for the festival,"

Keith bops himself on the forehead. "Ah, sorry! I thought you heard about it already. We're going to be performing!"

"Performing?" Pidge wrinkles her nose.  
"No, no we aren't," Lance and Hunk exchange anxious glances.

"We're going to host a poetry performance!" The club leader says excitedly. "Each of us are going to choose a poem to recite during the event. The cool part is, we're also going to let anyone else come up and recite poems, too! Matt's putting it on all the posters in case anyone wants to prepare ahead of time,"

Matt, who's been coloring a poster, holds it up for us to see and giggles from beside me.

"Are you kidding me, Keith?!" Pidge groans. "You didn't already start putting those posters up, did you?!" She facepalms.

Keith raises a brow. "Eh? I did... Do you really think it's that bad of an idea?"

"Well, no!" She shakes her head and pauses to clean her glasses on the hem of her uniform. "It's not a bad idea. I just didn't sign up for this! There is no way I'm going to perform in front a group of people like that!"

Lance shoots up from his seat. "I agree with Pidge!"  
Hunk nods and gets to his feet. "No way, José,"

"Guys..." Matt starts.

"No, Matt," Keith stops him. "I understand where they're coming from. Remember, they never shared their poems with anyone until a couple days ago... It's a lot to ask for them to recite their poems out loud to a room full of people. I guess I overlooked that. I'm sorry,"

The club members all sit in silence.

Keith raises an extended index finger. "But! I still think we should give it our best!"

Everyone groans.

"We're the only ones responsible for the fate of this club!" He continues. "If we start the festival and each put on a good performance... Then it will inspire others to do the same! The more people who perform, the better we'll be able to show everyone what literature is all about!"

"Yeah!" Matt cheers. He shuffles a stack of posters hastily, nearly dropping them onto the tile floor. "It's all about expressing your feelings! Being intimate with yourself! Finding new horizons! And having fun!"

Keith smiles fondly. "That's right! It's those reasons we're in this club today. Don't you want to share that with others? To inspire them to find the same feelings that brought you here in the first place? I know you do. I know we all do! And if all it takes is standing in front of the room for two minutes and reciting a poem... Then I know you can do it!"

Lance, Pidge and Hunk remain silent and stationary. Matt looks worried. I guess that leaves me with no choice...

"I agree," I speak up. Everyone's heads snap towards me like chairs on swivels. "I don't think it's too much to ask. I think Matt and Keith have been trying really hard to get new members. The least we can do is help them out a little bit,"

Lance shifts uneasily. "Well... Maybe, but..."  
"Okay, fine. Alright," Hunk nods vigorously.   
Pidge plops back into her chair. "I guess I'll just have to get it over with,"

"Yay!" Matt hoorays. He does a little dance.  
Keith huffs through his teeth, sending his bangs whooshing upward. "Phew..."  
Pidge sighs. "This club is going to be the d҉͘ea̷͠th of me,"

"Anyway!" Keith claps his hands, startling everyone. "I want each of you to choose a poem of yours! We're going to practice reciting them in front of each other,"

"Nu-uh!" Lance shakes his head and throws his hands in the air.   
Hunk jerks from his desk. "Keith!"  
Pidge slams her forehead into her notebook.

"If you can't recite your poem in front of the club, how do you expect to do it in front of strangers?"

Everyone groans again.

"Don't worry. I'll start off to help everyone feel a little more comfortable," Keith pulls his neatly folded poem from his back pocket.

"Oh! Oh!" Matt raises his hand like an impatient third-grader. "Can I go next?!"

 


	5. Chapter Five

"Ready to go home, Matt?" I stand from my seat and hoist my bag over my shoulder.  
"Yep!" Matt shouts from across the room. He rushes over to me.

"Look at you two, always going home together like that," Hunk says sweetly.   
Keith muffles a giggle behind his hand. "It's kind of adorable, isn't it?"  
Matt laughs and I roll my eyes. "Jeez, guys... Don't make such a big deal out of it,"  
Lance shoves stray papers into the front pocket of his backpack. "It must be a little nice, though,"  
My breath catches in my throat. "Ah..."

How am I supposed to respond to that?

Matt pats my back. "It's okay, Shiro. You don't have to say it,"  
I shrug him off. "Whatever. Let's go already,"

I walk home with Matt once more. Even though it's only been a few days, a lot of things have already changed. But today, Matt is being a little quieter than usual on the way home.  
"Hey, Matt..." I gently tap him on the shoulder.

Matt jerks up. "Sorry! I was spacing out,"  
I nod. "Ah, no wonder..."  
He turns away for a moment. "I was thinking about something from earlier. I like how we get to... I mean—!"  
He fumbles with his words.   
"Let's say Lance asked to walk home with you..."  
I blink. "Huh?"  
"What would you do?"  
"What kind of question is that? You're putting me on the spot here," I smile and laugh. "You really think I would ditch you for Lance?"

Matt flinches. "Eh?? But... He's so cool and fun to be around...!"  
I rub my eye sockets with the back of my hands. "Jeez... I already see him in the club everyday. Besides, you seem to really like coming home with me. I wouldn't ruin that for you,"  
"You're so silly, Shiro," Heat rises to Matt's cheeks as his lips curl into a grin. "You think about me too much sometimes. Lance would deserve it if he wanted it, so..."

"Matt, I've already made up my mind. I really can't figure you out sometimes. What's the point in speculating something that will never happen?"

"Hm..." Matt looks at the ground.

The conversation trails off. It's a weird thing for Matt to care so much about... But I want to respect him and keep him happy, too. Then again, the festival is only a few days away. Who knows what will happen in that time?

"Aw, man..." Keith groans as he enters the clubroom. "I'm the last one here again!"  
"Don't worry. I just walked in here, too," I say, still trying to catch my breath.   
Hunk looks up from his book. "Were you practicing piano again?"

Keith laughs. "Ahaha... Yeah,"

Pidge nods respectfully. "You must have a lot of determination. Starting this club and then picking up piano..."

"Well, maybe determination isn't how I'd put it," The club President clicks his tongue. "But I guess passion. Do keep in mind the club wouldn't be here without all of you. I'm super happy you're all willing to help out for the festival, too!"

Hunk grins. "Oh, God! I can't wait for the festival. It's gonna be great!"  
Keith tilts his head. "Weren't you complaining about it just yesterday, Hunk?"

"I'm not talking about our part of the festival. It's a whole day of school where we get to play and eat all kinds of delicious food!" He licks his lips. "Keith!" Hunk gasps. "Do they have fried squid?!"

"Squid...?" Keith pauses. "That's a pretty specific thing to look forward to,"

"C'mon! Are you saying you don't like squid?" Hunk gasps again, offended.   
"I never said I didn't like it..." Keith shakes his head. "Let's focus on our own event for now, okay?"  
Hunk sighs. "Fine, fine..."

I look around the near-empty clubroom, searching for Matt's face. "Oh, there you are!"

Matt is sitting at a desk in the corner of the room, looking down at nothing. I walk over to him.   
"Hey, Matt," I wave my hand in front of his face, forcing him to break eye contact with the wooden desk. "You're spacing out again,"

"Ah!" Matt blinks. "Eheh, sorry. Don't mind me. You can go talk to everyone else,"  
I tilt my head. "Huh? Is everything alright?"  
"Of course!" He smiles, but his dull eyes don't match his smiling mouth. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Something feels a bit off... Sorry for assuming things," I apologize.

Matt laughs. "Jeez, you worry too much about me. I'm fine, see?" He shows me a big, wide smile. "Don't let me distract you from having fun with everyone!"

I take a step back. "Well, alright. If you say so,"

I worriedly glance back at Matt before turning back toward everyone else. But the conversation has already dispersed, with everyone back at their usual activities. Maybe I should ask Keith if he's noticed anything about Matt recently... Since they've been preparing for the festival, they must be spending a lot of time together.   
I timidly approach Keith, who is shuffling through some papers at a desk.

"Shiro! What's up?" He looks up at me.

I cough into the crook of my elbow anxiously. "This may sound a little strange, but... Have you noticed anything up with Matt recently?"

"Anything up with him...?" Keith raises a concerned brow. "In what way do you mean?"  
"Maybe I've been reading into it a bit much, but he seems a little downcast today,"  
He nods. "Oh, you think so? I can't say I've noticed anything about him,"

Keith peers across the room at Matt, who is idly dragging a rubber eraser up and down his desk.

"Maybe there's something on his mind," He says after turning back to me. "But I'm surprised I'm not the one asking you, Shiro. You certainly know him a lot better than I do,"

I tug my lip between my teeth before releasing it again with a quiet pop. "Yeah, but he's never really like this... He's always talked to me about things that bothered him. This time, when I asked him, he was really dismissive. Sorry, I know it's not your problem,"

"No, no," Keith sets down the stack of papers. "Matt's my friend, too. And I also care about the well-being of my club members, you know? I'll try talking to him myself,"  
"Eh? Are you sure about that?" I lower my voice. "He seemed like he wanted to be left alone,"

"Maybe he just has a hard time bringing it up with the person of interest..." He shrugs.  
"Person of interest?"  
"I'm saying the thing on his mind is probably you, Shiro,"

"Me?" I say, flabbergasted. "How on Earth would you come to that conclusion?"

Keith chuckles. "Well, I shouldn't say too much, but... Matt talks about you more than anything else. He's been so much happier since the day you joined the club. It's like an extra light turned on inside of him,"

I blink. "What? No way. Matt is always like that. He's always been full of sunshine. It's not any different now than it always has been,"

"You're so funny, Shiro," He laughs again. "Have you thought maybe you've always seen him as so cheerful... Because that's how he is when he's around you?"

We sit in silence for a brief moment.

Keith clears his throat and continues sorting his papers. "Ah, I said too much. I'm sorry. What do I know, anyway? I didn't mean to jump to conclusions, so you should forget what I said. I'll try and talk to him, so don't think about it for now,"

"Ah, okay," I nod.

Keith smiles meaningfully. I know he said to forget about it... But I already know I won't be able to get his words out of my head.

Keith stands from his desk and walks across the room to where Matt is sitting. I watch him kneel down next to Matt and gently talk to him.  
But he's keeping his voice so quiet I can't hear him from here.   
I sigh and sit myself down. I know Matt told me not to worry about him and to have fun with everyone else, but that's impossible to do when he's behaving like this. Exactly how much do I care about him, that I'm letting this weigh me down so much? Now it feels like I'm the one behaving out of the ordinary. But there's nothing I can do besides wait for Keith.

"Hey, you," A shrill voice greets me.

I look up to see Lance next to me.

"Are you just gonna sit there and keep staring at nothing?" He asks. "There isn't that much time, so..."  
"Ah, sorry," I straighten my posture and recollect myself. "I didn't mean to make you worry or anything,"

Lance coughs nervously into his elbow. He's holding another volume of manga in his hand.

"That's right..." I say. "Something came up for a minute, but we can get started now. I won't make you wait any longer,"

"Jeez... Now you're making me feel like a jerk," He crosses his arms. "If something's bothering you, then you can just tell me to leave you alone and I will. I mean... Assuming you don't feel like talking about it or anything,"

I shake my head. "Nah, I'm probably making it seem like a bigger deal than it is. I've been thinking about Matt, that's all,"  
"...Matt? Thinking about him?"  
"Yeah, he seems pretty down today. But he didn't want to talk about it, so I can't help but wonder if something happened to him,"

"Oh..." Lance exhales. "First of all, you should really work on your phrasing! But anyway... You're his best friend, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," I shrug.

"In that case, I think you should trust him a little more. If he needed you, then you would be the first person he'd go to, right?"

I look at the ground. "I guess that's true, too,"

"I mean, some people just have those days. You can't always avoid it. If anything, he probably doesn't want you to worry about him because it's not important,"

"That's kind of what he said to me," I look back up at Lance, who is now leaning against the side of another desk nearby. "'Maybe it's not right for me to go against his wishes,"  
Lance shoots me finger guns. "Exactly! If he needs you to worry about him, then it'll be a lot more obvious,"  
I nod. "I should have thought of it that way from the start,"  
Lance fiddles with the book he's holding in his hands. "He... He really means a lot to you, doesn't he?"

"Ah—," My heart skips a beat. "Don't get the wrong idea. We've just been friends for a long time. It's normal to be worried about your friends. I mean, you were worried about me, so..."

"I was not!" Lance nearly screeches. He takes a deep breath before composing himself. "Jeez... If you're fine, then let's hurry and get started already!"

"Okay, everyone!" After some time passes, Keith calls out to the clubroom. "Why don't we share our poems now?"  
Before I know it, everything is back to normal.

"Hi, Shiro," Keith says as I approach him with my poem. "Have you though about what you want to submit to perform at the festival?"  
"Well..." I pause.

Being in this club is one thing, but performing in front a bunch of people...

"...I'll have to give it some more thought," I finally say.

"Okay, no pressure!" Keith smiles. "Whatever you do, I'm sure it will turn out great. It would also make me happy to see. Let's take a look at today's poem!"

I let Keith take the poem I'm holding in my hands.

"I like this one!" Keith says thoughtfully. "It makes me think of something Matt would like,"  
"Is that so?" I raise a brow.  
"You and Matt are really good friends, right? I wouldn't be surprised if you had those sorts of things in common," He continues.

I shrug, doubtful. "We may be good friends, but Matt and I are very different,"

"Hmmm," Keith hums, handing my poem back to me. "That may be the case... But perhaps there are also some similarities you wouldn't expect. The way he talks about you. It sounds like the two of you really care about each other's well-being. Even if you show it in different ways, it ends up being more similar than you'd think. That's the kind of vibe I get when reading your poems,"

"Are you sure you're not reading into it too much?" I query.   
The shorter man laughs. "I could be! But in any case, Matt's writing has a gentle feel to it. I can tell he likes exploring with emotions, like happiness and sadness. Who knew someone so happy would enjoy sad things, too?"

"Yeah, that's totally unexpected," I nod and remember when I had asked Matt which kind of poems he liked and his indecisive answer.

"To each, their own. And you shouldn't be afraid to experiment, either," Keith tells me. "Anyway, I'll share my poem with you now, alright?"

 

_The Lady Who Knows Everything_   
_Poem by Keith Kogane_

_An old tale tells of a lady who wanders Earth._   
_The Lady who Knows Everything._   
_A beautiful lady who has found every answer,_   
_All meaning,_   
_All purpose,_   
_And all that was ever sought._

_And here I am,_

_a feather_

_Lost adrift the sky, victim of the currents of the wind._

_Day after day, I search._   
_I search with little hope, knowing legends don't exist._   
_But when all else has failed me,_   
_When all others have turned away,_   
_The legend is all that remains—the last dim star glimmering in the twilit sky._

_Until one day, the wind ceases to blow._   
_I fall._   
_And I fall, and fall, and fall even more._   
_Gentle as a feather._   
_A dry quill, expressionless._

_But a hand catches me between the thumb and forefinger._   
_The hand of a beautiful lady._   
_I look at her eyes and find no end to her gaze._

_The Lady who Knows Everything knows what I am thinking._   
_Before I can speak, she responds in a hollow voice._   
_'I have found every answer, all of which amount to nothing._   
_There is no meaning._   
_There is no purpose._   
_And we seek only the impossible._   
_I am not your legend._   
_Your legend does not exist.'_

_And, with a breath, she blows me back afloat, and I pick up a gust of wind._

 

"You know..." Keith speaks as soon as I lift my eyes from the poem. "I feel like learning and looking for answers are the sorts of things that give life meaning. Not to get too philosophical or anything... But it was kind of on my mind, so that's what I wrote about,"

"I see..." I blink. "I never put too much thought into it,"

"In a way, it's almost paradoxical. Because if we had all the answers, wouldn't the world start to lose its meaning?"

"There's one thing I noticed... It seems everyone in the club prefers writing about things that are more sad than happy," I think.   
"Are you surprised?" Keith giggles. "If everything was okay, we wouldn't have anything to write about, would we? Humans aren't two-dimensional creatures. I think you'd know that better than anyone,"

"You mean one-dimensional...?"

Keith's eyes widen. He laughs. "Ah, yeah! That! Anyway... Here's Keith's Writing Tip of the Day! Are you ever too shy to share your writing because you're afraid it's not that good? It can be really disheartening to get a lukewarm response to something you put so much into. But if you find other people who enjoy writing, sharing becomes a lot easier! Instead of just telling you your writing is good, okay or bad... They'll want to focus on what went into it and what things you could work on. It's much more encouraging that way, and it will make you want to continue improving. It's almost like having your own little Literature Club, don't you think? That's my advice for today!"

 


	6. Chapter Six

"It's nice... I guess,"

I sigh. "Come on, I can already tell you don't like it,"  
"You don't need to worry about what I think," Matt says. "After all, you wrote this for someone else, didn't you? Probably Lance..."

"Eh?" His question catches me completely off guard. "I didn't write this for anyone specifically,"

"Maybe, but that's not really what I meant, though," Matt gives me a faint smile. "That's okay. You're making new friends, just like I was hoping. And that makes me really happy. You're happy too, right? In this club?"

"Well... Of course I am," I smile back.

"Good," He giggles. "That's all that matters to me. Thank you, Shiro,"  
"Matt... Is there something wrong?"  
"Huh? No, nothing," Matt shakes his head. "I'm just a little tired today," He laughs softly.  
"Alright..." I swallow. "Just tell me if you need anything,"

"I will. Don't worry about me, okay? You can go play with everyone else now,"  
I nod slowly. "If you insist..."  
Matt smiles. "Yay! I'm gonna go home a little bit early today,"  
"Matt?" I frown.  
"Tell Keith I wasn't feeling well, okay?" He continues, waving to me as he walks out the door with his bag. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

Before I can say anything else, Matt cheerfully walks out of the classroom, humming to himself.

"This one's alright," Pidge notes as she glances over my poem.

"Alright?"

"Well, yeah. It doesn't blow me away," She shrugs. "But there's nothing I really hate about it. It's just not my style. Come to think of it, this kind of reminds me of Matt's poem from yesterday..."  
My forehead wrinkles as I raise a brow. "Eh? You think so?"

Pidge nods. "I guess since you've been friends with him for so long, you might be on the same wavelength. But you never really struck me as his type,"

"Matt has a 'type' all of a sudden?"

"I don't know! How can someone so... fluffy... spend so much time with someone like you?" Pidge looks away, playing with her hands. "It's like he's dragging around a dead weight..."

I frown. "That was a little unnecessary... Think of it this way. If it weren't for me, he would probably just fly away, like letting go of a balloon. You could say we take care of each other in our own way,"

She sighs apologetically."Whatever it is, I don't get it..."  
  


_I'll Be Your Beach_   
_Poem by Pidge Gunderson_

_Your mind is so full of troubles and fears_   
_That diminished your wonder over the years_   
_But today I have a special place_   
_A beach for us to go._

_A shore reaching beyond your sight_   
_A sea that sparkles with brilliant light_   
_The walls in your mind will melt away_   
_Before the sunny glow._

_I'll be the beach that washes your worries away_   
_I'll be the beach that you daydream about each day_   
_I'll be the beach that makes your heart leap_   
_In a way you thought had left you long ago._

_Let's bury your heavy thoughts in a pile of sand_   
_Bathe in sunbeams and hold my hand_   
_Wash your insecurities in the salty sea_   
_And let me see you shine._

_Let's leave your memories in a footprint trail_   
_Set you free in my windy sail_   
_And remember the reasons you're wonderful_   
_When you press your lips to mine._

_I'll be the beach that washes your worries away_   
_I'll be the beach that you daydream about each day_   
_I'll be the beach that makes your heart leap_   
_In a way you thought had left you long ago._

_But if you let me by your side_   
_Your own beach, your own escape_   
_You'll learn to love yourself again._   
  


"Yeah..." Pidge swallows. "I kept writing about negative things, so I wanted to write something with a nice message for once. Besides, the beach is awesome! It's hard to write anything negative about the beach!"

"So you decided to write about the beach first, then came up with the message later?" I squint.

The short girl crosses her arms. Her glasses slide down the bridge of her nose a little. "Yeah, well... It's only because of what happened yesterday. Hunk and I worked at my house last night. He wanted to pick a topic and have us both write about it..."

Lance cuts in. "Well done, Shiro! You've gotten a lot better at this new technique, dood. Sharing our writing has been a lot more fun than I thought it would be,"

I smile. "I can't disagree. I was afraid this whole thing would be a chore..."

But it's been fun getting some personal time with the guys in the club.

"But it's been fun getting to know everyone and their writing. And doing some writing myself..." I finish, still grinning.

Hunk, who's been sitting quietly on his own, slides a sheet of paper over to us. "I know I haven't really been doing my part in all this, sharing my writing, but I think I should at least give it a try today,"

Lance pats his buddy on the back. "I knew you'd come around, Chum. Let's take a look, shall we?"

"This is really good, Hunk," I exhale, blown away. "I can tell you've spent a lot of time on this,"  
  


_Beach_   
_Poem by Hunk Garrett_

_A marvel millions of years in the making._   
_Where the womb of Earth chaotically meets the surface._   
_Under a clear blue sky, an expanse of bliss--_   
_But beneath gray rolling clouds, an endless enigma._   
_The easiest would to get lost in_   
_Is one where everything can be found._

_One can only build a sand castle where the sand is wet._   
_But where the land is wet, the tide comes._   
_Will it gently lick at your foundation until you give in?_   
_Or will a sudden wave send you crashing down in the blink of an eye?_   
_Either way, the outcome is the same._   
_Yet we still build sand castles._

_I stand where the foam wraps around my ankles._   
_Where my toes squish into the sand._   
_The salty air is therapeutic._   
_The breeze is gentle, yet powerful._   
_I sink my toes into the ultimate boundary lines, tempted by the foamy tendrils._   
_Turn back, and I abandon my peace to erode at the shore._   
_Drift forward, and I return to Earth forevermore._   
  


"Thanks... I know the beach is sort of an inane thing to write about, but I did my best to take a metaphorical approach to it," The Samoan says sheepishly.

"Oh, Pidge already told me about it,"

Hunk turns to Lance, obviously eager to throw the spotlight onto someone else. "Lance? Can we see yours?"

"No way could I top that, man. I've gotta up my game!"

"Okay, you three!' Keith's voice cuts into our conversation. Everyone turns to look at the leader. "We're all finished sharing poems, right? Why don't we start figuring out--,"

"Hold on a second!" Pidge stands. "Is it just me, or did you say something strange just now?"

Keith tilts his head. "Eh?"

Hunk and Lance nod.

"Something did sound a bit unusual..." Lance chews his fingernail.

Hunk blinks. "You deviated away from your usual catchphrase when addressing the club!"

"Catchphrase?" Keith snorts, shaking his head. "I don't have a catchphrase..."

Pidge props her hands on her hips. "Jeez, why is the mood so weird today? Look, even Hunk isn't immune to it,"

Hunk shrugs. "Stagnating air is common foreshadowing that something terrible is about to happen..."

I straighten. "In your books, maybe! Look, the only thing different is that Matt isn't here,"

"You're right. I miss him now," Lance looks around the room.

Keith sighs. "Matt always helps lighten the mood a little bit, doesn't he? It's almost like everyone's balance is thrown off when he's not around..."

"Where'd the heck did he run off to, anyway? I thought he just went to pee," Lance groans.

"Decency, Lance," Pidge and Hunk say in unison.

"Everybody pees," The Cuban rolls his eyes.

"Ah, he actually wasn't feeling well and went home early..." I say.

"Is that so? I hope he's alright," Hunk sighs, worried.

Pidge snorts and uncrosses her arms. "Seriously? Of all times to not go home with him, you pick the time he's not feeling well? So much for you two being lovey-dovey,"

"We're not lovey-dovey!" I groan through gritted teeth, furrowing my brows. "First of all, stop misinterpreting my friendship with Matt! And second... He's been avoiding me today, so I didn't want to force it,"

Keith takes a deep breath. "Calm down, guys. I talked to him earlier, and he's fine. We need to figure out the rest of the festival preparations, so... Let's decide what everyone will be working on this weekend,"

Hunk grins. "I already know what I'm doing!"

"That's right!" Keith nods. "Hunk will be baking cupcakes! But we need a lot of them, and different flavors. can you handle them all by yourself, Hunk?"

"Challenge accepted!" Hunk pumps his fist in the air.

Keith turns away. "As for myself... I'm going to be printing and assembling all the poetry pamphlets. Matt and Pidge will help me design them. And for Lance..."

Keith is silent.  
"Lance, you can..."  
Keith pauses, thinking.  
"Ah, um..."  
Everyone stares at the leader.   
"Guys, can you help me come up with something for Lance?"

Lance studies his shoes, eyes cast down. "I'm useless..."

Keith's eyes widen. "No! That's not it all! You're one of the most talented people I know!"

"Jeez, even I can tell now," I huff. "I guess I never gave Matt enough credit, but I can tell things are even harder on you when he's not around,"

The long haired teen rubs his temples. "That may be the case... But if I can't also be a leader on my own, then I won't grow as a person. So, Lance!" Keith says with newfound energy. "You have pretty handwriting, you know? So you should make some banners and decorations to help set the atmosphere!"

Lance looks up. "Atmosphere? About that... I... I love atmosphere!"

Lance's expression suddenly changes as he stares at his desk in focus and starts nodding to himself.

"Your mind is already racing, I see," I comment.

"That's great! You'll be a wonderful help, Lance. Anyway, that leaves you, Shiro," Keith nods in my direction.

"The one who is truly useless," I laugh.

Keith giggles. "Ahaha... Don't say that. In fact, both Hunk and Lance have some pretty heavy tasks to handle. It would probably go a long way to give one of them a hand. Remember, you can always help me out as well..." He winks.

"Um... That's..." My breath catches in my throat.

Is Keith suggesting I spend the weekend with one of the club members? How on Earth are they going to respond to such a suggestion like that?

"I wouldn't mind having a bit of help," Lance says.

"Even if you don't know how to bake, there's always some dirty work I can give to you," Hunk shrugs.

"If I recall, Hunk, you mentioned you would like to handle all the baking on your own," Lance squints at his friend. "Shiro might not like to be around if you only make him out to be a nuisance. He may want to help out with the decorations,"

"Hold on! I never said that! How hard could it be to make a couple decorations, anyway? It sounds more like you're making excuses for Shiro to--,"

"What are you saying?! It'll be hard work!"

"And baking isn't?! Just what do you think--,"

Pidge jumps in. "Jumping Jesus! Guys!"

"Let's settle down for a moment..." Keith steps forward with Pidge. "In the end, I think it's up to Shiro to decide how he'd like to contribute. Besides... He hasn't really gotten the chance to spend any time with me, you know? So I'm sure he's interested in--,"

"You literally just said—!"  
"That's hypocritical, Keith!"  
Keith backs away. "Sorry, sorry! I was just saying, though..."  
Pidge groans loudly. "Jeez... Could we settle this already?"  
"Yeah," Keith nods. "Shiro, you're okay with this, right? In the end, it's up to you,"

"Ah..." I choke. "Of course,"

"In that case..." Keith urges me.

I swallow anxiously. There's too much pressure. "Keith?" I say, unable to force my last two brain cells to stop doing the macarena and think.

"Yay, you picked me!" He cheers.

Hunk freezes. "Hold on one second!"  
"Yeah!" Lance pipes up.  
Hunk squints and frowns. "Keith, you're the one needs the least help out of all of us. You've got Pidge and Matt,"

"Eh? But..."

"Hunk's right! Not only is your work easy for one person, but you have two people with you as well!"

Keith stammers. "But Shiro was the one who..." He sighs.

"That doesn't matter," Pidge says. "You were the one who scared him into picking you in the first place. That's rather manipulative, Keith,"  
"You're the club President, dude," Lance gasps. "You're supposed to make responsible decisions for the club,"  
"You shouldn't let any ulterior motives interfere with this decision,"

"Ulterior motives?" Keith gasps. "What are you saying?! In fact, it sounds like you guys are the ones with ulterior motives!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Otherwise... This wouldn't have been made into such a big deal in the first place," He finishes, smug.

"That is entirely false,"  
"We have a lot of work to do, you know!"  
"We won't do as good of a job if you make us work alone,"

Keith scratches the back of his neck, his face now a bit red. "Ah... Maybe that's true..."

"Think of the club, Keith!"  
"Think of the club!"  
"If we want our event to succeed, then we need to appropriately distribute our resources,"  
"Are you going to do the right thing, _President?_ "

Keith covers his face with his hands. "Okay, goddamnit!" He sighs. "It's technically most logical for Shiro to help one of you two... So, that's what we'll do,"

I finally come forward. "If it's going to be anyone, I would much prefer helping Matt. We're already neighbors, and--,"

Lance almost screeches. "But Keith said--!"

"Keith's helping Matt! Do you really hate us that much?"

I shake my head profusely.

"Sorry..." Keith looks at me. "I didn't mean for this to be difficult. Just think of the club, okay?"

I sigh, directing my gaze to Hunk. "Baking could be fun... And you guys made it sound like a lot of work, so it could probably use two people,"

Hunk grins. "Don't worry! Baking is a ton of fun! You'll definitely agree!" He cheers.

"Eh?" Keith raises a brow. "Just a minute ago you were saying that--,"

"That's because--!" Hunk gives in. "Nevermind, okay,"  
Keith rolls his eyes and looks to Lance. "You'll be fine by yourself, right, Lance?"  
"Yup..." Lance nods. "I'm used to it, after all,"

Lance dabs sadly.

We all stand in silence for a few seconds. Even though Lance is being melodramatic, it's hard to not feel bad.

Pidge butts in. "That's everything, right? Anything else we need to talk about?"

Keith shakes his head. "No, that's it. Are you guys excited?"

We all cheer, except Lance. He's still staring at the ground with a sad look in his eyes.

"What do you say, Shiro?" Keith smiles at me.

"Me?" I pause. "I guess you could say I'm interested to see how it'll turn out..."

The club leader claps his hands. "That's good enough for me! What about you, Lance...? Lance?"  
Hunk frowns. "Aw... He's still sulking,"  
Pidge and Hunk start pouting, too.

"It's not... It's not that big of a deal, or anything," Pidge goes.

"It might not be just that," I say after. "I think Lance might be feeling a little underappreciated in general. Having to come up with something for him to do, and then no one offering to help. In that case, I'm sorry, Hunk. I think I should help Lance,"

Hunk nods. "I get it, dude,"

"That doesn't mean..." Her eyes glisten with shame. She glances back and forth at everyone with a worried face. "Look..."

Pidge walks over and puts her hands down on Lance's shoulders, a difficult task to do, considering her height.

"Lance," She begins. "You're very talented. And... And you're going to help make the event a lot more fun and welcoming. I mean, the cupcakes will probably help a lot, too... But you're gonna make the atmosphere special. That'll be really important for the way people feel during the performances. So... You need to stop being dumb-- a stupid idiot! A big, goofy, ugly idiot!-- and give yourself more credit!"

Pidge releases her hands and turns around to face the other direction.  
Lance looks up. "You didn't... You didn't really mean that, did you?"  
Pidge freezes. "Uh... Not really, but..."

Lance isn't the only one surprised. Keith, Hunk and I are also taken aback by Pidge's words. But I begin to understand. Pidge was trying to sound like Matt. Even if it didn't work perfectly, I can tell she tried to say something Matt would say at a time like this. Matt always helps everyone smile and feel good about themselves.

Lance straightens his posture. "I'm sorry... For being dumb. I'm going to do my best to not be a stinky, stupid idiot. And all of us are going to make it a great event,"

"Yeah!" Pidge says.  
"Yeah!" Keith nods. "I hope to see everyone doing their best!"  
"Yeah!" Hunk screeches. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!"  
Keith puts his hands together. "But with that, there's nothing more for today. It's time to head out,"

Lance nods. "Okay, but I'm staying a bit longer. I barely got to do any reading today, so..."

"Fair enough, there's nothing wrong with that," Keith says.

Everyone packs up their things. I start to follow Keith, Hunk and Pidge out the door as they chat between each other.

Lance calls out to me. "Where are you going? We still need to figure out our plans for this weekend. You literally would've gotten home and realized you didn't even have a way to contact me,"  
"Oh, that's true..." I say, embarrassed. "I have no idea how that slipped my mind,"  
"Good thing I stopped you!" Lance pulls out his phone. "I'm giving you my number, okay?"

Lance reads aloud his number and I type it into my contacts. I send him a message to make sure I've got it right. As soon as his phone pings, I put mine back into my pocket.

"I'm coming over on Sunday," He says, tucking his phone away.  
I blink. "Wait. You're coming to my house?"  
"Well, yeah. I have a kajillion siblings, all under the age of fifteen. You don't want them running around and messing things up, do you?"

I shake my head. I may be an only child, but I understand how annoying siblings can be.

Lance continues. "We've got each other's numbers, now. That's all I needed from you. I guess I'll text you when I'm coming over,"  
"Fine by me!" I smile and nod.   
"I can't wait!" Lance says. "I didn't want to let on that I was looking forward to this in front of everyone else,"  
"Oh, I get it," I point to the exit I have to take. "I'll be off now,"

I can't believe this! Lance is coming to my house on Sunday? Even though I would've preferred to do this with Matt, my anxiety still shoots through the roof. Who knows what might end up happening when we're outside of school?

I shake my head. Why am I nervous that Matt finds out about this?

 


	7. Chapter Seven

It's already Sunday.

I've been getting increasingly anxious about Lance's upcoming visit. I keep telling myself there's no reason to be nervous, but it doesn't help much. I wonder if he'll act any different if it's just the two of us?  
Meanwhile, he's been texting me a lot. We sent each other some messages to double-check, but it turned into a conversation. He's almost a different personality on the phone, using tons of emojis and cute language. He also really likes memes and hentai, but I saw that one coming.

Putting Lance aside... I haven't heard a thing from Matt since he left the club early the other day. It's not like we text each other all the time or anything, but I've been worrying about him in the back of my mind. Between what Matt said, and what Keith said... Is it really okay for me to put Matt's feelings aside when he might need me?

I decide to visit Matt before Lance comes over. Rather than asking, I simply tell him "I'm coming over", much like we've done in the past. Once I reach Matt's house, I knock on the door before entering myself. Again, we used to play so often that we've made it a habit of simply entering each other's houses like we were family.   
The house is quiet. Matt isn't anywhere on the first floor, so I assume he's up in his room. It's already strange for him to not run down and greet me. I head up to his bedroom, where I finally find him.

"Matt?

Matt is seated on his bed. He looks up at me. "Hi, Shiro,"

I sit down in one of his chairs. Matt forces a smile, but it's easy to tell he's different. There's a minute of silence between us.

"You haven't come over like this in a long time, haven't you?"

I smile. "Ah... I guess you're right. It has been a long time. Not much has really changed, has it?"  
Matt's room is as messy as it's always been. I recognize the same books and wall decorations that he's had for years.   
Matt forces a soft chuckle. "If you came over more often, it wouldn't be such a mess,"

"That's because I end up cleaning it for you," I laugh, but Matt doesn't join me.

Instead he asks me a question. "How come you suddenly wanted to come over? Aren't you supposed to see Lance today?"  
"Yeah, but..." I blink in surprise. "Wait, how'd you know that?" Matt had already left by the time we decided that last meeting.

"Keith told me. It's only natural for him to keep me informed about the festival preparations, right?" He gestures weakly to his laptop.  
"That's true..." I say. "But what about you? Aren't you going to be helping Keith today?"  
"Of course! But I'm helping him online. We didn't plan to meet up today,"  
"So, it's just me and Lance, then..."  
Goddammit.  
Matt grins. His eyes are dark and tired. "Yep!"

There's more silence between us. Matt stares in a random direction. Everything about his behavior is uncharacteristic. I finally get to the point.

I clear my throat. "I just... I just wanted to see how you were doing after you left on Friday. When something's wrong, you can't hide it from me. I know you too well,"

Matt smiles, shaking his head. "That's no good, Shiro,"

"What?" I tilt my head.

"Why can't it be just like it's always been?" He continues. "This is all my fault. If I didn't get so weak and accidentally express my feelings... If I didn't make that stupid mistake... Then you wouldn't be worried about me at all. You wouldn't have come here. You wouldn't have even been thinking about me right now. This... This is my punishment, isn't it? I'm getting punished for being so selfish. I think that's why the world decided to have you come over today. It just wants to torture me,"

My jaw drops and I grab Matt by the shoulders. "Matt! What on Earth are you saying? Are you listening to yourself right now? I know something happened to you. There's no other explanation for you to be like this. Please, tell me already! Until I know, I won't be able to stop thinking about it!"

"Aha... Hah," Matt looks away. He gives me an empty smile. "You really put me in a trap, Shiro. But you're wrong... Nothing happened to me. I've always been like this. You're just seeing it for the first time,"

"Seeing what?"

Matt stares at the ground with wet eyes. "You're really just going to make me say it, aren't you, Shiro? I guess I have no choice... The thing is... I've had really bad depression my whole life. Did you know that? Why do you think I'm late to school everyday? Most days, I can't find a reason to get out of bed. What reason is there to do anything when I know how truly worthless I am? Why go to school? Why eat? Why make friends? Why make people put their energy to waste by having them spend it on me? That's what it feels like. That's why I just want to make everyone happy... Without anyone worrying about me,"

I sit in shock, taken aback. I don't know how to respond. How is it possible Matt kept this from me the entire time I've known him? Did he really want so badly for me to not think about him?

"Why, Matt?"

Matt looks up again. "Eh?"

"Why is it that you've never told me about this? It feels like I've been betrayed as your best friend. If I knew, I would've done everything I could to support you. Even if there's only so much I could do... I would have tried harder to make every day a little better for you. That's why I'm your friend. All you had to do was tell me!"

"You don't understand at all, Shiro. Why do you think I didn't tell you? If I told you, you'd have to waste effort caring about me instead of doing important things. I don't want to be cared about. It's bittersweet, when people try to care about me. It feels nice sometimes. But it also feels like a bat being swung against my head. That's why I wanted so badly for you to make friends with everyone else... Helping everyone be happy together is the best thing for me," My childhood friend chuckles indifferently. "I discovered something else, too. Seeing you make friends and get closer with everyone in the club... It feels like a spear going through my heart. That's why I decided the world wants to torture me. Every path leads to nothing but hurt,"

I sigh. "You're right, I don't understand. I don't understand your feelings at all, Matt. But I don't need to understand. Whatever it takes for me to help you stop hurting... That's what I'll do,"

"No, Shiro. There's nothing. Nothing at all. The only thing that could have helped is if everything could be like it always was... But I was selfish. I finally showed you what a horrible person I am," Matt breaks. Tears streak down his face. "I made you join the literature club because I was selfish. And I was punished by my heart hurting in a way I couldn't understand. Then you came here and I made you hurt, too. I'm selfish. That's all I am. And that's why I'm going to accept these punishments, because I deserve every last one!"  
Without thinking, I once again grab Matt's shoulders. This time, I pull him into a tight embrace.

"Matt," I say. "I don't care if you feel selfish. I'm happy you convinced me to join the literature club. Seeing you everyday makes it worthwhile enough. If I make friends with everyone else, then that's just a bonus. But please, never underestimate how much a care about you. I wouldn't have it any other way,'

"Shiro..." Matt sobs. He isn't hugging me back. Despite my arms being wrapped around him, Matt's arms remain at his sides. He cries next to my ear. "No... Don't do this to me..." He sobs. "Please don't do this... Shiro, I..."

Matt barely manages to speak between his sobs. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. But all I want is for him to know I care.

I rub his back in soothing circles. "If you have it in you to call yourself selfish, then you have to let me be selfish, too. No matter what it takes, I'll figure out what needs to change. I'll make these feelings go away. And if there's anything you need me to do... Then you'd better tell me,"

"I... I don't know..." Matt says after he takes a few deep breaths. "I don't know... I don't know. I don't know,"  
Gently, Matt finally puts his arms around me in return.  
"I don't know anything... It's all really scary. I don't understand any of my feelings, Shiro... The only time I'm not feeling nothing is when I'm feeling pain... Your hugs are so warm. That's really scary, too,"  
Matt lets me go. As he does so, I let him go as well.

"The festival is tomorrow," I start.

Matt nods, wiping his tears dry with the sleeve of his shirt.

I smile encouragingly. "It's going to be fun, right?"

"Yeah,"

"How would you like for me to spend it all with you?"

Matt looks up in surprise. "Um... Ah..."

"It's what I want," I reassure. "I promise,"

He wipes his eyes again. "I... I think that would be nice, then..."  
If I could spend the whole day here, I would.   
I sigh and groan. "Of all days, this has to be the one where I have other plans... Maybe I should cancel--,"

"No, don't!" Matt yelps. His voice drops to an unsteady whisper. "Please don't... If you did that, then I really wouldn't forgive you,"

"But..." I check the time on Matt's clock. "It's almost time for Lance to meet me at my house. At the very least, do you wanna come along and help out? It would be fun,"  
To my surprise, Matt shakes his head. "I'm sorry... I don't know if that would be good for me today. You understand, right?"

I nod. "It's kinda hard for me to fully understand, but I'm trying my hardest,"  
Matt smiles faintly. "It's okay. Don't worry too much about it. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"  
"Alright," I stand. "I look forward to it,"

I say goodbye to Matt and exit his house. On the way home, I find myself feeling uneasy.

 


	8. Chapter Eight

As I approach my house, I see something that makes me feel a moment of panic.

"Lance?"

"Oh, hey..." The Cuban boy says.

I raise a brow. "You're a little early. I'm sorry I wasn't home yet. Were you waiting a long time?"  
Lance shakes his head. "No, I just got here... I got a little nervous when nobody answered the doorbell,"  
"You always could have texted me," I say, unlocking the door and holding it open for him. "If I had known, I would have hurried more on my way home,"  
"I guess," Lance shrugs. "I didn't think of that, for some reason,"

It should be common sense to do that, but I decide to ignore it.

"Anyway... Let's go inside. I see you brought a lot of supplies with you,"  
Lance nods. "Yup! And did you find everything I asked you to buy?"  
I nod back. "Pretty much. At least, I hope I got everything right,"

I take Lance to my room. The first thing he does is look around curiously, which makes me feel anxious.   
Lance sets his bags of supplies down. "It's so clean..."  
I laugh nervously. "I cleaned it before you came over, so..."

"That's nice of you, Shiro,"

"I would be really embarrassed if my room were a mess while you were here,"  I chuckle again. "Wait, don't look in there!"  
I snatch Lance's wrist, which was in the process of opening a desk drawer of mine.   
"Ah!" He yelps. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking,"  
I let his wrist go. "It's fine, it's fine..."

Lance puts both of his hands firmly in his lap, as if making sure he's keeping track of them.   
"So, um..." I plop onto the floor. "Should we get started?"  
He nods before sitting on the floor next to me. "Yeah, I have a few things planned you canhelp me out with. Decorations and all that jazz. I got mood lighting and aromatherapy candles, cause my mom said they'd be helpful,"

"Oh, wow. I didn't know you planned on taking it that far,"

Lance waves his hand dismissively. "It'll help take our guests to a faraway place, even though I think a bunch of people will just stop by out of curiousity... And for cupcakes. I brought some things for relaxation, too. I was going to use them during the poetry event thing,"

"Oh, yeah? What'd ya bring?" I tilt my head.  
Lance digs around in one of the bags. "Let's see, my dude," He pulls out a few candles and a wooden cylinder shaped object. "I planned to cover the clubroom's windows with black paper and use candles to light the room. Wouldn't that look cool?"  
I nod, keeping my eyes locked on the wooden cylinder. "Yeah. That'd be neat! What's the wooden thing, though?"  
"This?" Lance picks it up. "It's a diffuser for essential oils. Know anything about aromatherapy?"

"Not at all,"

He grins. "Cool, me too. I learned about this yesterday. It's one of my favorite ways to set a positive atmosphere. Depending on the different oils or herbs you choose, you can change the mood of the air. It's like magic,"  
Lance presses a small switch on the bottom of the cylinder. In just a moment, a thin ray of vapor begins to spout through a small hole in the top.   
I sniff the air. "Wow... That smells wonderful. What mood is that one for?"  
"Pretty sure this is Jasmine essential oil. Very sweet and flowery, right?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I chose this one for the event because it does more than relaxation. It apparently enhances your emotions. Wouldn't that be perfect for when we share our poems?"  
"It does sound cool," I smell it again. "Smells really nice,"  
Lance smiles. He reaches into another bag and pulls out some spools of thin ribbon.

I blink. "What are those for?"

He sets the spools on the carpet. "Did you get the origami paper?"  
"Right here!" I yank it from my desk and set it onto the ground next to the ribbon.  
"We aren't using the paper to fold origami," Lance says, tearing off a sheet. "We're gonna write a different word on each paper. We'll need about a hundred of them,"

I whistle. "That's a lot. What for?"

"I'm gonna cut pieces of ribbon to hang from the doorway of the classroom. We can tape to paper onto the ribbons to make a curtain,"  
"Got that one from your mom, too?"  
Lance laughs with red cheeks. "Pinterest, actually,"  
He seems more relaxed when it's just the two of us. Or maybe it's just the excitement of sharing the things he'd learned less than 48 hours ago by skimming through articles online.

Lance pulls a black marker from a small pack. "Here, Shiro. Write any words you want. I'll help once I finish cutting up the ribbons,"

Sitting on the floor together, the two of us get to work. I carefully write a word on each paper, doing my best to manage my bad hand writing. Lance unravels a long strand of ribbon to his desired length. Then, he reaches into his bag once more and pulls out a pocket knife.

"The hell?"

The knife is strangely beautiful. The silver handle has an intricate drawing of Moto Moto etched into it. The blade itself is gently tinted blue.

"That's no ordinary pocket knife," I say, capping the marker. "It looks really fancy,"

Embarrassed, Lance looks away.

"What is it?" I lean forward and study it. Moto Moto is beautiful, after all.

Lance shakes his head. "You're gonna think it's weird..."

I shrug. "I have no reason to judge. To each their own, right?"

He sighs. "Well, I'm really into memes. And knives. Mostly memes,"

I nod. I can see that being true, Lance liking knives. Sort of. Him liking memes is much more believable, though. I let out a small chuckle.

"You're laughing at me!"

I stop and shake my head. "No, no! I just think memes are great, too. Engraving them into knives just adds to them. You get to hold a knife and look at Moto Moto at the same time!"

Lance smiles in relief. "Yeah... My favorite one has Big Chungus printed on the handle," He looks down at the knife in his hand. "Would you like to hold it?"

"Yeah!"

Lance carefully hands me the knife with the handle facing me. I take it and turn it around in my hands. It's heavy and extremely solid. Where do you even get a knife like this? Curious of its sharpness, I feel the point of the knife with my index finger.

"Ow!" I gasp.

Lance takes the knife from me, folds it up and sets it on the ground. "Shiro! Why would you do that?"

"I didn't expect it to be that sharp," I laugh a little, staring at the little bead of blood on my fingertip. "I barely touched it at all,"

"It's my fault! I should've warned you! This knife is extremely sharp and the meme on it is extremely dank!" Lance looks at the knife, then to my bleeding finger. "It can cut through skin like it's paper,"

The drop of blood trickles down the side of my finger. Lance takes my hand to get a closer look. He stares at it and noticeably fidgets.

I gesture to my bathroom. "If you're squeamish, I'll go wash it off now--,"

Without warning, Lance whips out a cloth and wipes the blood off my finger. He presses the cloth to his nose and takes a deep inhale, shutting his eyes.

"The smell of blood is a sickeningly dry, sweet metallic scent. As it dries and ages, it takes on a vile pungence that smothers your senses and suffocates your breath. In the nose's eyes, blood is beautifully execrable and somehow caustic. A slight amount is redolent; evocative and iron, while a spill is acidic, festering and raw..."

I stare as he shoves the cloth into his back pocket again.  
If not for the sweet aroma of the Jasmine oil, the air would be extremely heavy right now.

He suddenly grins and climbs to his feet. "Where do ya keep yer bandaids?"

I say nothing, only switching my gaze back and forth between my still-bleeding finger and the cloth dangling out his pocket. We sit in silence for a few minutes and eventually carry on as if nothing had happened. We each resume our respective activities.

I watch Lance's knife cut through the ribbon like it's nothing but air. Meanwhile, I continue to make progress on the paper. Even though I'm doing my best to focus on my task, my mind wanders back to Lance  staring at the red drops dripping down my pointer, absorbing the metallic fluid with his rag and inhaling it like a man smoking his last cigarette. It's so strange, it makes me shiver.

After attaching the paper to the ribbons, we lay them all out side by side. It looks better than I expected and will be very effective as a door curtain.

"It looks great! Good thinking coming up with this, Lance!" I look at our creation.

Lance smiles. "Ah... Thanks. Just something I saw online," He turns to me. The cloth is gone. "What about the next project?"

"Let's do it," I say. "What do you have in mind?"

"We need to make a banner. That's why I asked you to buy those paint tablets," He answers.

One of the things Lance asked me to buy was a kit of watercolor paint tablets. I nod and pull out the kit.

"We'll need about six cups of water to put each of the tablets in," Lance says, reading the back of the box. "You mind grabbing the water?"

I get to my feet. "Of course not! Six cups of water, coming right up!"

I decide to use small plastic bathroom cups rather than full-sized glasses, as I don't want to dilute the paint. I put them on a plate to catch any paint that drips, then bring it back to my room.

"Lance?"

"Yes?"

I come in to see Lance quickly unrolling his sleeve, pulling it back over his arm.

I set the paints onto my desk and raise a worried brow. "Your face is a bit red. Is it too hot in here or anything?"

Lance shakes his head. "Nope! Not at all! Nada! There's nothing wrong, so..." Lance hurriedly dismisses me and takes it upon himself to unwrap the tablets, dropping them into the cups. "Let's mix the paint! I though we could do something simple that would look kinda nice. We could do a gradient,"

"Like, starting with the colors of a sunrise, daytime and then sunset?"

Lance snaps his fingers. "Yeah! Like that! Then we could slap on an inspirational quote,"

I nod thoughtfully. "What will you write on it?"

He shrugs. "I dunno. I can just google some quotes and paint the first one that comes up,"

After rolling out the large sheet of paper, Lance and I kneel on opposite sides so we don't get in the way of each other. I use a brush and add a few dots of different colors across the banner to serve as a color guide when we paint.

"This kinda reminds me of elementary school..." I say, dipping my brush in one of the cups of paint. Painting on a banner with watercolors feels a lot like the art class projects we had back then. It's relaxing.

"Sorry if this is too childish,"

I shake my head, tapping the brush on the rim off the cup to prevent excess drips. "No, I didn't mean that at all. It's kind of fun, you know?"

Lance wipes his brush on a rag before dipping it in another color, turning the rag purple with the mixture of red and blue hues. "Yeah, it's fun,"

Lance wipes the brush off again and shakes his head when the paint won't come off. He reaches over the banner to grab an unused paintbrush. But I move at the same time, causing my head to bump into his.

"Oof!"

"Sorry!"

Lance reels back and I quickly lift my hands in surprise.

"Are you hurt?" I say with wide eyes.

He huffs. "No, I'm Gucci. It just spooked me. Is there anything on my face?"

There are droplets of paint on Lance's face and neck.

"Yeah, I accidentally got paint on you... Sorry, it's my fault," I get to my feet. "I'll be right back,"

I rush out and fetch a small towel, then dampen it with hot water. I return to my room and kneel back down in front of him.

"Here..." I pat down Lance's face and neck with the towel.

He gasps.

"Is something wrong?" I pause.

Lance shakes his head. "No, sorry. It's just hot. I didn't expect it,"

I continue patting him down. "Sorry, I didn't want to use cold water,"

Having finished, I start to retract my hand. But Lance suddenly holds my wrist.

"Wait!"

I raise a confused brow. 

Lance shuts his eyes and nuzzles into the towel. "Just a little longer... It feels nice,"

I keep my hand still against Lance's neck. He looks into my eyes. It's an intense expression I can hardly recognize as Lance. It's almost as if he's lost in a daze, enveloped by his own thoughts. He breathes gently through slightly parted lips. What is happening? Is it the aroma of the Jasmine oil giving me this dizzy feeling? Lance's fingers wrap around my wrist and send a tingling sensation through my arm. And suddenly, his face seems a lot closer to mine than it was a moment ago.

"Ah!" Lance pulls away. "Sorry. I've been feeling a little light-headed. I didn't mean to zone out,"

"It's fine," I say, setting the towel on the ground.

The moment is over as soon as it began. Lance picks up his brush again. But his movements seem clumsier, like he's unable to focus. I remain silent and try to ignore the event that just transpired. I hesitantly retrieve my own brush, then continue following Lance's example.

"That should do it..." I finish filling the night sky with little white dots that vaguely resemble stars. Looking at the banner as a whole, it's very pretty and semi-natural looking.

Lance sets his brush next to the others. "Better than I expected,"

I step over to him, careful not to knock over the cups of paint. "Are you gonna do the lettering?"

He shakes his head. "Pretty sure it has to dry first, but that'll take a while,"

"Maybe we could leave it here, then I could bring it tomorrow morning. You could do the lettering in the classroom before our event starts?"

"Que buena idea," Lance says in a thick Spanish accent. "I think we're done here,"

"Phew!" I huff, the air from my mouth shooting my bangs upward.

"You sound like you're glad it's over,"

I prop my hands on my hips. "Ah, no. I'm just glad we managed to finish everything,"

Lance bites his lip. "Same... I was a little worried we'd run outta time. Anywho, I've gotta get home for dinner. Mamá is making tamales!"

Once Lance packs up, I walk him out the front door.

"Thanks for having me over, Shiro!" Lance grins.

I smile back. "No problem. I'm glad I was able to help. Let me know if there's anything else you need me to bring tomorrow,"

"Sure thing," Lance fidgets. "Well, then... I guess I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Wait,"

I kind of say that without thinking.

"About today..." I clear my throat. "I'm glad I got to work with you today. I was hoping we could hang out again sometime? Whenever you want... You could come over, or we could go out somewhere... Uh..."

As I stumble over my words, Lance smiles bashfully.

"Anyway, you know what I'm trying to say," I give up.

"That's nice, Shiro," Lance says. He takes a step closer to me, then briefly squeezes my hand. "I like you a lot,"

How am I supposed to respond to that? But I don't even get a chance to, as Lance suddenly pulls back.

"Matt?"

"Eh?" I turn my head around, and there he is. He's not in any better shape than when I visited him this morning.

"Hi, Shiro..." Matt says awkwardly.

My brain clicks. "Matt! Just now, we weren't--,"

Matt looks at the ground. "It's okay, Shiro. I just stopped by to say hi,"

"Um..." Lance stammers with wide eyes. "It's nice to see you. I was on my way out,"

"Aw, really?" Matt sighs. "That's too bad,"

"I'm sorry!"

Clearly embarrassed, Lance scrambles down the road. Matt waves goodbye after him.

"Matt, I thought you didn't want to come over today?" I start.

Matt laughs softly. "Ahaha... Well, I tried staying in my room, but my imagination was being really mean to me... So I had to come out here and see it for myself,"

I furrow my eyebrows. "See what? What are you talking about?"

"You know..." Matt goes. "How much fun you were having with Lance... And how close you got to him. It makes me... Really happy... That you've made such good friends. That's all that matters to me,"

Tears start to fall down Matt's face.

"That's all that matters to me!" He says again, mostly to himself. He looks up at me with big, brown eyes. "Why am I feeling like this, Shiro? I'm supposed to be happy for you. Why does it feel like my heart is splitting in half?! It hurts so much... Everything hurts so much... This would be so much better if I could just disappear!"

"Matt, don't say that!"

Matt crumbles. "It's true, Shiro! If I wasn't here, then you wouldn't have to waste your sympathy on me! You wouldn't have to put up with me being selfish! Keith was right... I should just..."

"Keith was right about what?"

Matt stares at the sidewalk, silent.

"Matt?"

Matt shakes his head.

I sigh. "What I said before is true. I'm not going to let this continue. Caring about you isn't the burden your mind makes it out to be. It's something that makes me happy. It's something I wouldn't trade for anything else. Even if it takes an entire lifetime... I'm going to be by your side until you don't feel any more pain,"

"But..." Matt looks away.

I put my hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

"I'm scared, Shiro," He cries. "I'm really scared..."

"What are you scared of, Matt?" I look into his eyes.

Matt's lip quivers. "I'm scared that... I might like you more than you like me,"

"Matt...?"

"It's true, isn't it? I was weak and started to like you too much... I did this to myself. Shiro, I like you so much that I want to die! That's how I feel! And... And..."

"That's enough, Matt. I don't want you to hurt anymore," I slide my hand down Matt's arm and squeeze his hand in my own. "Do you remember when I said I always know what's best for you? Do you still believe me?"

Wordlessly, Matt nods.

"Even if you don't understand all of your own feelings... I know what you need the most right now. And that's what I'm going to give you,"

The world seems to grow silent

"Matt... You'll always be my dearest friend. What you need most is for things to be like they've always been... Keith told me the truth. He told me how much happier you seemed after I joined the club. I know you're struggling with some really difficult things right now. But... Please trust me when I say I know what's best and what will make you happy in the end. I promise I'll help get things back to the way they were,"

Matt forces a smile through an incredibly pained expression. "I see... Is this what it feels like to get stabbed in the chest? I should write a poem about this..."

"Matt--,"

Matt shushes me. "It's okay. This is just my punishment, remember? For being so selfish... Please... Please don't worry about these stupid feelings. I know you're right. I knew this whole time there's no happiness down this path. That's why I came here... Just so I could get the answer I needed to hear. And the other thing... You're also right that I want it to go back to the way it was. I realize that now. You really do know me better than anyone else, Shiro... I'll trust you with anything... Anything at all,"

Matt's smile finally breaks. All of a sudden, he turns around and drops to his knees. Clutching his head with both hands, he screams as loudly as he can. I don't know how to react. Matt looks over his shoulder and flashes me one more weak smile before turning around and running off.

"Matt!" I call after him.

I'm left helplessly standing in front of my house. There's nothing more I could have done. The most I can do is support matt through his feelings and help him onto the path that's right. But I'm having a much trouble understanding Matt's feelings as he is. Even though I can comfort him, I keep wondering if I should be doing something more, or something different. I know these thoughts will continue to plague me until things are back the way they were. I'm going to give it everything I've got.

Matt will always be my dearest friend.

 


	9. Chapter Nine

It's the day of the festival. 

Of all days, I expected this to be the one where I'd be walking to school with Matt. But Matt isn't answering his phone. I considered going to his house to wake him up, but decided that's a little too much. Meanwhile, the preparations for the event should be nearly complete. The banner Lance and I painted is dry and I gently rolled it up to take with me. To be honest, I'm excited for the event to be over so I can spend time with Matt and Lance at the festival. But knowing Keith, I'm sure the event will be great, too.

"Shiro!" Keith says as I enter the clubroom. "You're the first one here! Thanks for being early!"

"That's funny. I thought at least Pidge or Hunk would be here by now," I reply, setting the banner on a desk. 

Keith is placing little booklets on each of the desks in the classroom. They must be the ones he, Pidge and Matt prepared that have all the poems we're performing. In the end, I found a random poem online I thought Keith would like and submitted it. That's the one I'll be performing. 

Keith looks up at me as he sets a booklet on a desk. "I'm surprised you didn't bring Matt with you,"

I shrug. "Yeah, he overslept again... That dummy. You'd think on a day this important, he'd try a little harder,"

I say that, but I suddenly remember what Matt told me yesterday. And I suddenly feel awful, knowing it's not nearly that simple for him. I only said it because it's the way I'm used to thinking. Maybe I should've gone to wake him up after all?

Keith chuckles. "You should take a little more responsibility for him, Shiro. Especially after your exchange with him yesterday... You kinda left him han **g** ing this morning, you know?"

I raise a brow. "Exchange? Keith, you know about that?"

"Of course I do!" He smiles. "I'm the club President, after all,"

I stammer, embarrassed. Did Matt really tell him about it that quickly? 

"Jeez... You don't know the full story at all, so..." 

Keith waves his hand dismissively. "I know a lot more than you think,"

Keith is being as friendly as usual, but for some reason I felt a chill down my spine after hearing that. 

"Do you want to check out the pamphlets?" Keith says, holding one out in my direction. "They came out really nice!"

I take it from him and crack it open. "Oh yeah, they really did...!  Something like this will definitely help people take the club more seriously,"

"I thought so, too,"

I flip through the pages. Each member's poem is neatly printed on its own page, giving it an almost professional feel. I recognize Pidge's and Lance's poems from the ones they performed during our practice. 

"What's this?"

I flip to Matt's poem. It's one I haven't seen before and it's definitely not the one he practiced.

 

_Get Out Of My Head_

_Poem by Matthew Holt_

 

_Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head_

_Get._

_Out._

_Of._

_My._

_Head._

_Get out of my head before I do what I know is best for you._

_Get out of my head before I listen to everything he said to me._

_Get out of my head before I show you how much I love you_.

_Get out of my head before I finish writing this poem._

 

 

 

_But a poem is never actually finished._

_It just stops moving._

 

 

What is this? Reading the poem, I get a pit in my stomach. 

"Shiro?" Keith's voice draws me out the booklet. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head. This poem feels completely different from everything else Matt's written. But more than that... 

"I changed my mind! I'm gonna go get Matt, so..." I drop the booklet and quickly rush out the classroom. 

"Don't strain yourself!" Keith calls out after me.

I quicken my pace. What was I thinking? I should've tried a little harder for Matt. It's not a big deal to at least wait for him, or help him wake up. Even the simple gesture of walking him to school everyday makes him really happy. Besides, I told him yesterday that things will be the same as they always have been. That's all he needs and that's all I want to give him.

I reach Matt's house and knock on the door. I don't expect an answer since he's not picking up his phone. Like yesterday, I open the door and let myself in.

"Matt?" He really is a heavy sleeper...   
I swallow. I can't believe I ended up doing this, after all. Waking him up in his own house. That really is something a friend would do, isn't it? In any case, it feels wrong. I knock on Matt's bedroom door.   
"Matt?" I call. "Wake up, dummy..."  
There's no response. I really didn't want to have to enter his room like this... Isn't that a breach of privacy? But he leaves me no choice. I open the door.

 

_An exception has occurred._   
_File/"game/script-ch9.rpy" , line 307_   
_See traceback.txt for details._

_Resolving conflict..._

 

_Dead_   
_Poem by Matthew Holt_

_Died in the grasp of your words_   
_Tied with the noose on my heart_   
_I suffocated believing you'd never tear me apart._

 

(Oh my god oh my god oh my god what the hell is this a nightmare it has to be he's just hanging there this isn't real there's no way this can be real matt wouldn't do this everything was normal up until a few days ago what are my eyes showing me)

_os.remove("characters/matt.chr")_   
_matt.chr deleted successfully._

 

I suppress the urge to vomit. Just yesterday I told Matt I would be there for him. I told him I know what's best and that everything will be okay. Then why? Why would he do this? How could I be so helpless? What did I do wrong? He told me how painful it is for others to care about him. Then why did I make him feel even worse? Why was I so selfish? This is my fault! My swarming thoughts keep telling me everything I could've done to prevent this. If I just spent more time with him. Walked him to school. Confessed to him, like he really needed... Then I could've prevented this! I know I could've prevented this! Screw the Literature Club. Screw the festival. I just lost my best friend. Someone I grew up with. He's gone forever now. Nothing I can do will bring him back. This isn't some game where I can reset and try something different. I had only one chance, and I wasn't careful enough. And now I'll carry this guilt with me until the day I die. Nothing in my life is worth more than his. Now, I can never take it back. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never.

 


	10. Chapter - . -. --- .-. --- -. .

**This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed. Individuals who are suffering from anxiety or depression may not have a safe experience playing this game. For more content warnings, please visit** **http://vld.moe/warning.html**

**By playing VLD Literature Club, you agree that you are at least thirteen years of age, and you consent to your exposure of highly disturbing content.**

**Please enter your name.**

S-H-I-R-O.  
 **___________________________**

.... . . . . . . -.-- -.-- -.--

I see a boy running towards me from the distance, waving his arms in the air as if he's totally oblivious to any attention he may draw to himself. That boy is -- .- - - .... . .--, my neighbor and good friend since we were children.   
You know the kind of friend you'd never see yourself making today, but it just works out since you've known each other for so long?

That's -- .- - - We used to walk to school together on days like these, but starting around high school he would oversleep more and more frequently and I would get tired of waiting up.  
If he's going to chase after me like this I almost feel better off running away. However, I just sigh and idle in front of the crosswalk and let -- .- - - catch up with me.

.... . .-.. .--. - .... .. ... .. -. --- - -- . .. - .. ... -.- . .. - .... He pants as he skids to a stop in front of me... --- ...- . .-. ... .-.. . .--. - .- --. .- .. -. .. ... .- -.-- -. --- - .... .. -. --. --- -. .-.. -.-- ... .... .- -.- .. -. --. -- -.-- .... . .- -.. .. -. -.. .. ... .- .--. .--. --- .. -. - -- . -. - -... ..- - .. -.-. .- ..- --. .... - -.-- --- ..- - .... .. ... - .. -- . -- .- - - --. .-. .. -. ... .- -. -.. .-- .. .--. . ... ... .-- . .- - ..-. .-. --- -- .... .. ... -... .-. --- .-- .. .-. --- .-.. .-.. -- -.-- . -.-- . ... -- .- -.-- -... . -... ..- - --- -. .-.. -.-- -... . -.-. .- ..- ... . .. -.. . -.-. .. -.. . -.. - --- ... - --- .--. .- -. -.. .-- .- .. - ..-. --- .-. -.-- --- ..-o think we're a couple or something... -... ..- - .. -.-. .- ..- --. .... - -.-- --- ..- - .... .. ... - .. -- . -- .- - - --. .-. .. -. ... .- -. -.. .-- .. .--. . ... ... .-- . .- - ..-. .-. --- -- .... .. ... -... .-. --- .-- .. .-. --- .-.. .-.. -- -.-- . -.-- . ... -- .- -.-- -... . -... ..- - --- -. .-.. -.-- -... . -.-. .- ..- ... . .. -.. . -.-. .. -.. . -.. - --- ... - --- .--. .- -. -.. .-- .- .. . .-.. .--. - .... .. ... ..   
  


 

(what???)

 


	11. .... . .-.. .--.

**This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed. Individuals who are suffering from anxiety or depression may not have a safe experience playing this game. For more content warnings, please visit** **http://vld.moe/warning.html**

**By playing VLD Literature Club, you agree that you are at least thirteen years of age, and you consent to your exposure of highly disturbing content.**

**Please enter your name.**

S-H-I-R-O.

(what the hell? is this broken?)  
 **___________________________**

It's an ordinary school day, unlike any other. Mornings are usually the worst, being surrounded by couples and friend groups walking to school together. Meanwhile, I've always walked to school alone. I always tell myself it's about time I meet some people or something like that... But I have no motivation to join any clubs. I'm perfectly content just getting by on the average while spending my free time on games and anime. 

The school day is as ordinary as ever and it's over before I know it. After I pack up my things, I stare blankly at the wall, looking for an ounce of motivation. 

"Clubs..."

There aren't any that interest me. Besides, most of them would probably be way too demanding for me to want to deal with. I have no choice but to start with the anime club...

"Shiro?"

-.- . .. - .... -.- . .. - .... -.- . .. - .... -.- . .. - .... .--- ..- ... - -.- . .. - ....

I look up. "Keith?"

"Oh, I didn't expect to see you here!" Keith gasps. "It's been a while, right?"

I nod. "Oh, yeah. It has,"

Keith smiles sweetly. We do know each other. We rarely talked, but we were in the same class last year. Keith was probably the most popular person in class—smart, attractive, athletic. He was more of a loner in the beginning of high school, but he eventually expanded his horizons and made himself a name through socializing. Basically, completely out of my league. So having him smile at me so genuinely feels a little...

"What did you come in here for, anyway?" I raise a brow.

Keith shrugs dismissively. "I've been looking for some supplies to use for my club. Do you know if there's any construction paper in here? Or markers?"

"I guess you could check in there?" I point to the supply closet. "You're in the debate club, right?"

Keith sighs. "Ahaha... About that. I quit the debate club,"

"Really?" I gasp. "You quit?"

"To be honest, I can't stand all the politics around the major clubs. It feels like nothing but arguing about the budget and publicity and how to prepare for events... I'd much rather take something I'd personally enjoy and make something special out of it,"

I nod. "In that case, what club did you decide to join?"

"Actually, I'm starting a new one! A literature club!"

... .. -. . -.-. --- ... .. -. . - .- -. --. . -. -jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

(goddammit! stupid, old computer!)

"Literature?" I tilt my head. That sounds kind of dull. "How many members do you have so far?"

Keith scratches the back of his head. "It's kind of embarrassing, but there's only four of us so far... It's hard to find new members for something that sounds so boring,"

"I can see that,"

"But it's not boring at all!" Keith says thoughtfully. "Literature can be anything. Reading, writing, poetry... One of my new members even keeps his manga collection in the clubroom!"

I perk up. "Wait, really?"

He laughs. "He always insists manga is literature, too. He's not wrong, I guess... And a member is a member, right?"

I laugh along in hopes of hiding my agreement that yes, manga is literature.

"Hey, Shiro?" Keith pauses. "Are you... By any chance... Looking for a club to join?"

His question catches me off guard. "I guess, but--,"

"Is there any chance you could do me a big favor? I won't ask you to join, but... If you could at the very least visit my club, it would make me happy. Please?"

I guess I have no reason to refuse.Besides, how could I refuse someone like Keith? 

"Sure, I guess I could check it out," I say. 

"Awesome!" Keith cheers. "You're really sweet, Shiro. You know that?"

My cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "It's nothing, really..."

And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul to Keith and his irrestistable smile. I follow Keith across the school and upstairs, a section of the school I rarely visit, being generally used for third-year classes and activities. 

Keith, full of energy, swings open the classroom door. "I'm back!" He calls into the clubroom. "And I brought a guest with me!"

"A guest?"  A rather plump and dark-skinned boy says.

"Seriously? You brought a weeb?!" A lanky second-year student howls from across the room.

"Don't be rude, Lance!" A short girl prods the him in the ribs. 

"Welcome, Shiro!" Keith says. 

All words escape me in this situation. This club... _is full of incredibly attractive men._

"Let me guess... You're Keith's new boyfriend, right?" The girl crosses her arms. 

"No, I'm not!" I yelp.

"Pidge!" Keith snaps.

The girl with the sour attitude, whose name is apparently Pidge, is one I don't recognize. Her small figure makes me think she's a first-year. 

"Anyway, this is Pidge, energetic as usual," Keith says, strolling past her. "And this is Hunk! The Vice President!"

"It's nice to meet you!" Hunk greets me with a smile.

"Last but not least, there's Lance. He likes hentai,"

"Damn straight," Lance props his feet up on the desk in front of him, nudging Pidge's back in the process. She whips around to confront him and the two begin to bicker.

Keith ignores the two and continues. "I ran into Shiro in a classroom and he decided to come check out the club. Isn't that great?"

"Keith, didn't I tell you to let me know in advance before you brought anyone new?' Hunk says. "I was gonna... You know,"

"Sorry!" Keith apologizes. "I swear I didn't forget, I just ran into him and didn't have time to tell you,"

The club has a few desks arranged to form a table. Lance and Pidge sit across from one another. Hunk sits beside Lance. Feeling awkward, I take a seat next to Keith. 

"I know you didn't really plan on coming here..." Keith begins. "But we'll make sure you feel right at home, okay? As President of the Literature Club, it's my duty to make the club a fun and exciting place for everyone!"

I nod in aknowledgment. "I'm surprised there aren't more people here yet. It must be hard to start a new club,"

Keith sighs. "You could put it that way.  Not many people are interested in putting forth all the effort to start something brand new,"

"Especially when it's something that doesn't grab your attention, like literature," Hunk pipes up. "You have to work hard to convince people you're both fun and worthwhile,"

"It makes school events, like the festival, much more important," Keith continues. "I'm confident we can all grow this club before we graduate! Right, Pidge?"

Pidge swallows. "Well, I guess,"

Such different people, all pursuing the same goal... Keith must've worked hard to find these three. Maybe that's why they're so delighted by the idea of a new member joining.  
I still don't know if I can keep up with their level of enthusiasm about literature.

"So, Shiro... What kinds of things do you like to read?" Keith says as soon as the group disperses once more.   
Considering how little I've read these past few years, I don't have a good way of answering that.   
"...Manga..." I mutter to myself, half-joking.

Lance's head suddenly perks up. It looks like he wants to say something, but he keeps quiet.

"N-Not much of a reader, I guess..." Keith turns red and looks away.

"What about you, Keith?" I attempt to switch his focus to lighten the mood and ease the tension.

"My favorites are novels the build deep and complex fantasy worlds. The level of creativity and craftsmanship behind them is astonishing... And telling a good story in such a foreign world is equally impressive," Keith goes on, clearly passionate about his reading. "But I like a lot of things. Stories with deep psychological elements immerse me as well. Isn't it amazing how a writer can so deliberately take advantage of your own lack of imagination and completely throw you for a loop? I've been reading a lot of horror lately..."

"Ah, I read a horror book once..." I desperately grasp something I can relate to at the minimal level. At this rate, Keith may as well be having a conversation with a rock.

"Really? I wouldn't have expected that, Keith," Lance slides into the desk beside me.  
Keith's fingers dig into the arm of his chair, his eye twitching with visible agitation. "I guess you could say that... But if a story makes me think, or takes me to another world, then I really can't put it down. Surreal horror is often very successful at changing the way you look at the world, if only for a brief moment,"

"I hate horror..." Lance crosses his arms.

"Why's that?" Keith tenses.

Lance pauses. "Well... I just..." His eyes dart over to me for a split second. "Never mind. You like to write about cute things, don't you, Pidge?" He shakes off his previous comment, having found another person to tease.  
Pidge jerks up from her seat. "What?"  
"You left a piece of scrap paper behind last club meeting. It looked like you were working on a poem called—,"

"No!" Pidge hisses at him. "And give that back!"

"You write poems?" I lean back in my chair, scratching the back of my neck thoughtfully.

Pidge switches gears and turns to me. "Sometimes... Why do you care?"  
I smile. "I think that's impressive. Why don't you share them sometime?"  
"No," Pidge adverts her eyes. "You wouldn't like them...."  
"Not a confident writer yet?"   
Hunk saves her from answering. "I understand how she feels. Sharing that level of writing takes more than just confidence,"

"Do you have writing experience too, Hunk?" Keith asks. "Maybe if you share some of your work, you can set an example and help Pidge feel comfortable enough to share hers,"  
Hunk's cheeks burn red and he shrinks into his seat.  
"I guess it's the same for Hunk..." I shrug.

We all sit in silence for a moment. 

"Okay!" Keith's voice makes me jump. "I have an idea, everyone. Let's all go home and write poems of our own! Next time we meet, we'll share them with one another. That way, everyone is even,"  
  
Hunk shifts his weight left to right uneasily. Lance shakes his head. "Nope,"

Keith continues. 

"Plus, now that we have a new member, I think it will help us get a little more comfortable with each other and strengthen the bond of the club," He looks at me expectantly. "Isn't that right, Shiro?"

"Hold on..." I blink and get to my feet. Now that we're back to the original topic of me joining the club, I come forth with what's been on my mind the entire time. "I never said I would join this club,"  
A light of shame flickers in my gut.  
"I still have other clubs to look at, and... Uh,"  
I lose my train of thought.

All four members stare back at me with dejected eyes.

"B-But..." Keith swallows and looks at the ground. "We don't have enough members to be an official club..."

"I'm sorry, I thought..." Pidge sighs.  
"Oof..." Lance rolls his eyes.  
"Ugh," Hunk facepalms.

My breath catches in my chest. "You all..."

I'm defenseless against them. How am I supposed to make a clear-headed decision when it's like this? That is, if writing poems is the price I need to pay I order to spend every day with them...

"...Right," I finally say. I glance around at the sad faces in front of me. "I've made a choice... I'll join the Literature Club,"

One by one, their eyes light up. 

"Oh, my goodness! Really? Do you mean that, Shiro?" Keith smiles so wide I think it might hurt.

I shrug. "Yeah. It could be fun, right?"

"If you really just left after all this, I'd be super pissed," Lance huffs.

"Shiro, I'm so happy," Keith says in awe. "We can become an official club now! Thank you so much! I'll do everything I can to ensure that you have a great time, okay? I think with that, we can end today's meeting on a good note. Remember tonight's assignment! Write a poem to bring to the next meeting so we can all share!" Keith looks at me once more. "Shiro, I look forward to seeing how you express yourself,"

Can I really impress the class star Keith with my mediocre writing skills? I already feel the anxiety welling up inside me. 

With that, I depart the clubroom and make my way home. The whole way, my mind wanders back and forth between the club members. Lance, Pidge, Hunk and of course, Keith. Will I really be happy spending every day after school in a literature club? Perhaps I'll have the chance to grow closer to one of them... I just need to make the most of my circumstances and I'm sure good fortune will find me. I guess that starts with writing a poem tonight.

 

 


	12. .--. .-.. . .- ... .

I love you.

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter XIII

"Hi again, Shiro!" Keith greets me at the door. "Glad to see you didn't run away on us!"

I'm back at the Literature Club. I was last to come in, so everyone else is already hanging out.

"Thanks for keeping your promise, Shiro," Hunk smiles at me. "I hope this isn't too overwhelming for you,"

"Making you dive headfirst into literature when you're not accustomed to it..." Pidge adds. I see a folded sheet of paper in her hand.

"Oh, come on! Like he deserves any slack!" Lance huffs, resting his hands on his hips.

"Lance, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps his manga collection in the clubroom," Keith extends an index finger and I follow it to where he points to a closet hidden away in the corner.

Swiftly defeated, Lance rushes to his manga closet.

"Sorry about that, Shiro..." Hunk says. "He gets like that,"

"Don't worry about it!" I smile. 

"Ugh!" I hear Lance utter an exasperated sigh from within the closet. I leave Hunk and approach him, in case he needs a hand.

"You looking for something in there?"

**"Freaking Keithhthththttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthththttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthhththtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthelpttttttttthhtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttt**

He never puts my stuff back in the right spot! What's the point in keeping your collection organized if someone else is just gonna come along and mess it up?"   
Lance slides a bunch of stacked books and boxes across the shelf.   
"Manga..." I whisper under my breath.   
"You read manga, right?" He whips around.

"Ah—," I pause. "Sometimes,"

Manga is one of those things you can't admit you're really into until you figure out where the other person stands.

"How did you know, anyway?"

Lance shrugs, continuing to rummage through the piles of manga. "I heard you bring it up at some point. Besides, it's kind of written on your face,"

What's that supposed to mean?

"I-I see..."

There's a lone volume of manga amidst a stack of various books on the side of one of the shelves. Curious, I pull it out of the stack.

"There it is!" Lance snatches it out of my hand. He then turns a box of manga and slips the volume right into the middle of the rest.   
"Much better!" He lets out a sigh of relief. "Seeing a box set with one book missing is probably the most irritating sight in the world,"

"I know that feel," I get a closer look at the box set he's admiring. "Parfait Girls...?"

It's a series I've never heard of in my life. That probably means it's either way out of my demographic, or it's simply terrible.

**"don't judge a bookkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkk k k kk kkkkkkkkk**

 In fact—,"

He shoves the book right into my hands.  
"I'm gonna show you exactly why!"

I stare at the cover. It features four girls in colorful attire striking animated feminine poses. It's exceedingly... Moe. 

**"my friends would never talk to me again if they knew abbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb found thisdddddddddddkkk**

At least it's safe here in the clubroom. Except Keith was kind of a jerk about it... I can't win, can I?"  
I smile and gesture to the book in my hands. "It paid off in the end, didn't it? Here I am, reading it,"

"It's not like that solves any of my problems,"

Suddenly, Lance collapses straight into me. 

"Hey--," I begin.

**"aeuewyuriwfrfhrufheduiqewurufrfhruighrueifhprigvneivweivghpuwhfriuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii--,"**

"Oh, jeez!" Keith rushes over to us. "Lance, are you okay? Here..."

Keith reaches into his bag and pulls out some kind of protein bar. He throws it in lance's direction. Lance's eyes suddenly light up again. He snatches the bar from the floor and immediately tears off the wrapper. 

"I told you not to give mphhhh..." 

He doesn't even finish his sentence before cramming it into his mouth.

"Don't worry, Shiro. He's fine," 

Hunk approaches us. "Hey, Keith? My mom just called me because my grandmother is in the hospital... I'm sorry, I have to go...."

Keith nods. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Hunk. Go ahead. I hope your grandmother is alright," He draws my attention again as soon as Hunk leaves the clubroom.  "Anyway... why don't we all share poems now?"

My fear spikes. "It's kind of embarrassing, but I guess I have to..."  
"Don't worry, Shiro..." He waves a hand dismissively. "We're all a little embarrassed today, you know? But it's that sort of barrier we'll all learn to get past soon,"

"Yeah, that's true," I hand Keith my poem.

"Mhm! Great job, Shiro!" Keith says after going over it. "I was going 'Ooh' in my head while reading it. It's really metaphorical! I'm not sure why, but I didn't expect you to go for something so deep,"

I laugh nervously and scratch the back of my neck.

"I guess I underestimated you!" Keith says as he hands it back to me.   
"It's easiest for me to keep everyone's expectations low," I fold it up again. "That way, it always counts when I put in some effort,"  
"This kind of writing is impressive, Shiro... Full of imagery and symbolism. The audience is left to derive their own meaning out of it. It's very challenging to write like that effectively,"

"I'm sure I'm nowhere near that level yet,"

"Don't worry so much about that!" He pats my back gently. "You do your own thing. Keep exploring and learn from trying new things!"

I nod. "I'm sure I'll end up trying different things a lot. It could take a while before I'm comfortable doing this,"

"That's okay," Keith begins to open his composition notebook. "I'd love to see you try new things. That's the best way to find the kind of style that suits you. Everyone else might be a little bit biased toward their own kinds of styles... But I'll always help you find what suits you the most!"  
We share a small laugh.  
"Anyway, do you want to read my poem now? Don't worry, I'm not very good,"

"You sound pretty confident for someone who claims to not be very good," I bite my lip.

"That's because I have to sound confident. That doesn't mean I always feel that way,"   
 "I see... Let's read it, then,"

 

 

_Hole in Wall_   
_Poem by Keith Kogane_

_But he wasn't looking at me._  

_Confused, I frantically glance at my surroundings._

_But my burned eyes can no longer see color._

_Are there others in this room?_

_Are they talking?_

_Or are they simply poems on flat sheets of paper,_

_The sound of frantic scrawling playing tricks on my ears?_

_The room begins to crinkle._

_Closing in on me._

_The air I breathe dissipates before it reaches my lungs._

_I panic._

_There must be a way out._

_It's right there._

_He's right there._

 

_Swallowing my fears, I brandish my pen._

 

 

"So..." Keith clicks his tongue. "What do you think?"  
I pause to think. "It's very... Freeform? If that's what you call it. Sorry, I'm not really the right person to ask for feedback,"  
He puts his hand on his hip. "Ahaha. It's okay. That kind of style has gotten pretty popular nowadays. That is... A lot of poems have been putting emphasis on the timing between words and lines. When performed out loud, it can be really powerful,"

"What was the inspiration behind this one?"

"Ah..." Keith puts his finger in his mouth. "I'm not sure if I know how to put it... You could say I've had some sort of epiphany recently,"  
I raise my eyebrows. "An epiphany?"  
"Yeah... Something like that," Keith shakes his head as if to disperse any more of my questions. "I'm nervous to talk about deep stuff like that, because it's kind of coming on strongly,"

"Maybe after everyone's better friends with each other?"

"Sure thing. Anyway..." He coughs into his elbow and changes the subject. "Here's Keith's Writing Tip of the Day! Sometimes when you're writing a poem—or story—your brain gets too fixated on a specific point... If you try so hard to make it perfect, then you'll never make any progress. Just force yourself to get something down on the paper and tidy it up later. Another way to think about it is this: If you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink. So move your hand and go with the flow!"

"Thanks, Keith," I nod and we walk away from each other to show our poems to someone else.

I approach Pidge.

"Well... It's about what I expected from someone like you," She says after reading my poem.

"That's a little blunt," I blink.

"Excuse me...? I didn't say it was bad," Pidge continues, reading it again. "It just didn't evoke any emotions," She hands it back to me.

"So basically, it's not cute enough for your tastes?"

Pidge raises her hand in the air and grits her teeth. "Do you want to get smacked?!"

"I'll pass..." I lower her hand.

She sighs. "Anyway... I guess I need to show you mine..."  
  


_Eagles Can Fly_   
_Poem by Pidge Gunderson_

_Monkeys can climb_   
_Crickets can leap_   
_Horses can race_   
_Owls can seek_   
_Cheetahs can run_   
_Eagles can fly_   
_People can try_   
_But that's about it._   
  


"I knew you weren't gonna like it..." Pidge looks at the ground, adjusting her glasses.

"I like it,"

"What?" She jerks her head up. "Just be honest,"  
"I am," I shrug. "Why are you so convinced I won't like it?"  
Pidge crosses her arms. "Everyone in high school thinks writing has to be sophisticated and stuff... People don't take my writing seriously,"

I squint, looking over her poem a second time. "But isn't the point of poems for people to express themselves? Your writing style wouldn't make your message any less valid,"

"Yes!" She claps. "Exactly! I like when it's easy to read, but it hits you hard. Like in this poem... Seeing everyone around you do great things can be really disheartening. So, I decided to write about it!"

"Yeah, I understand,"

"But the other nice thing about simple writing is it puts more weight on the wordplay. I set it up for a rhyme at the end, but made it fall flat on purpose! It brings out the feeling in the last line,"

I hum and nod. "So you did... I guess more work went into it than I realized,"

Pidge puts her hands on her hips. "That's what is means to be a pro! I'm glad you learned something. You didn't expect that from the youngest one here, did you?"  
"Yeah..." I nod again. "I guess not,"

I humor her with that last comment. I don't care how old everyone is, but if Pidge is feeling proud then I won't take that away from her.

It's as if everyone is judging me for my mediocre writing abilities... Even if they're just being nice, there's no way my poems can stand up to theirs. This is a literature club, after all. I sigh. I guess that's what I ended up getting myself into. Across the room, Keith is writing something in his notebook. My eyes land on Pidge and Lance.

They gingerly exchange sheets of paper, sharing their respective poems. As they read in tandem, I watch each of their expressions change. Lance's eyebrows furrow in frustration. Meanwhile, Pidge smiles sadly. 

"I guess you could say it's... Cute?" Lance hands the sheet of paper back to Pidge.

Pidge squints. "Cute? Did you completely miss the symbolism or something? It's clearly about the feeling of giving up! How can that be cute?"

"I know that!" Lance stammers. "I just meant... The language! I was trying to say something nice..."

"You have to try that hard to come up with something nice to say?!"

**"qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq!"**

"Me? Look who's talking, you wannabe edge-lord!"

"Edgy? SOrry that my lifestlyesssssss is too much for someone of your mental aaaaaaaaaaa"

"seeeeeeeee>>>>>. just saying that proves my pointddddd! Most people learn to get over themselves after they graduate middle school, you know!"

"If you want to prove anything, then stop harrassing others with your sickening attitude! You think you can counterbalance your toxic personality just by dressing and acting cute)0000?! The only cute thing about you is how hard you try!"

"Whoa, be careful or you might **cut yourself** on that edge, Lance. My bad, you already do!"

"Did you just accuse me of cutting myself?! What the hell is wrong with your head?!"

"Yeah, go on! **Let Shiro hear everything you really think!** I'm surddbxcxcxx he'll be head over heels for you after this!"

Suddenly, Lance turns towards me, as if he just noticed I was standing here. "Shiro! He's just trying to make me look bad!"

Pidge snorts. "That's not true! He started it!"

How did I get dragged into this in the first place? **It's not like I know anything about writing! But whomever I agree with, they'll probably think more highly of meeeeeeeeeee**

**PIDGE.**

**LANCE.**

**PIDGE?**

**LANCE?  
**

**PIDGE!  
LANCE!**

**PIDIDIDJDDNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE**

(seriously? again?)

 

"Um..." Keith grabs my arm. "Hey, Shiro. Why don't we step outside for a little bit? Okay?"

Keith and I step into the hallway outside the clubroom. The blinds on the windows leading into the room are closed, so I have no idea what's happening inside. 

"Sorry about that..." The club President apologizes with red cheeks, clearly humiliated. "They really shouldn't have tried to get you involved. It's probably better for us to stay out of this... We'll go back inside once they're done yelling,"

I nod, still shocked beyond words.

Keith laughs nervously. "Some President I am, right? I can't even confront my own club members properly... I wish I was able to be more assertive sometimes, but I never have it in me to put my foot down against others. You understand, right? Anyway... If this makes you want to spend less time with the others, then that's fine. I'd be happy to spend time with you instead..."

Suddenly, Pidge runs out of the classroom. She rushes down the hall towards the girl's bathroom. 

Keith sighs. "Oh, dear... It looks like they're done,"

Lance is curled up in the corner with his knees tucked into his chest, muttering something inaudibly. As I step closer, I realize he's saying. "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it..." over and over again.

"Lance?"

He jerks. "I didn't mean it!"

I hush him, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. "I believe you..."

I have no idea what Lance may have said to Pidge. Or did. 

"Please don't hate me, Shiro! Please don't hate me!" Lance begs, tears in his eyes. "Please! I'm not like this! There's something wrong with me today..."

Keith steps in from behind me. "It's okay, Lance. We know you didn't mean it. Besides, I'm sure Pidge will forget about it by tomorrow. Completely,"

Lance is silent.

Keith continues. "Anyway, the meeting is over, so you can go home now if you want,"

Lance looks at me like he wants to say something, but he keeps glancing at Keith. "You can go first, Keith... I'm staying a little bit longer so I can call Hunk to check on him..."

Keith smiles, shaking his head. "I'm the President, so I should be the last one out. I'll wait for you to be done,"

"Please...? I'm worried about him,"

"It kinda sounds like you don't want me around for something, Lance,"

Lance shakes his head profusely. "It's not that! I've got stuff to say to Hunk and it'd be embarrassing if you heard!"

The club leader sighs. "I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"

"I'm sorry for causing any trouble! I jusjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

-. --- - - --- -.. .- -.-- 

 


	14. Chapter XIV

Another day passes, and it's time for the club meeting already. I've gotten a little more comfortable here over the past couple of days. Entering the clubroom, the usual scene greets me.

I wave to Hunk first. "Hey, how's your grandmother doing?"

Hunk smiles and sighs in relief. "She's okay, actually. She just fell in the shower and my mom thought she broke her ribs. But it turns out my grandma wasn't crying from pain. She was crying because she laughed too hard when she fell,"

I laugh. "Oh, wow. Your grandma sounds nice,"

He nods. I turn to Lance. "Hey!"

"Welcome back, Shiro," Lance forces a smile.

I'm not sure if it's me or Lance's expression, but the weight of yesterday's quarrel still hangs in the air a little. 

"Um..." Lance glances over his shoulder, looking around the room. Pidge is reading a book at her desk. Surprisingly, Keith isn't here yet. 

Suddenly, Lance takes my arm and pulls me to the corner of the room. 

"About yesterday..." He begins. "I... I really need to say I'm sorry. Nothing like that has ever happened before. Something just came over me, I guess... Please don't think we're usually like this. Not just me, but Pidge as well,"

I sigh. "Lance... I'm happy that you were considerate and apologized. You don't have to worry so much. Even though I've only been here a couple of days, I could tell something was off yesterday. Maybe we were just a little extra sensitive because it was our first time sharing poems. Whatever it was, it didn't make me think less of you. I've already decided there's no way you could be a bad person,"

"Shiro, don't say those things so frankly..." Lance smiles solemnly. "They make me a little too happy. I'm glad you're such a nice person... And I'm really glad you joined our club. Everything thing is a--,"

Lance stops himself.

"Sorry, I don't know what I'm saying," He laughs. "I just--,"

Pidge butts in from out of nowhere. "Have any of you guys seen Keith?"

Lance yelps.

"No, I haven't," I say. "I was also wondering where he went off to,"

Pidge snaps her fingers. "Man... Lance, I'm guessing you haven't seen him, either?"

Lance is obviously taken aback by how calmly Pidge is addressing him. "No, I don't know,"

"Jeez, this isn't like him at all!" She grumbles. "I know it's stupid, but I can't help but worry a bit..."

We both silently stare at the girl.

"What?" She says a few seconds later. "Why're you looking at me like that? Is there something stuck in my teeth?"

Lance clears his throat. "Pidge, about yesterday... I just wanted to apologize. I swear I didn't mean any of the things I said! And I'll do my best to think before I speak from now on!"

Pidge takes off her glasses, confused. "Lance, what the heck are you talking about? Did you do something yesterday?"

"Eh?" Lance squints.

"Jeez..." Pidge laughs, rolling her eyes. **"Whatever's on your mind, I'm sure it was nothing. I don't remember anything bad happening. You're the kind of person who worries too much about the little things, aren't you?"**

"B-But..." Lance tries again.

"I'll accept your apology anyway, if it helps you feel better about it. Besides, it's kinda nice to hear, since I always thought you secretly hated me," 

"No, not at all!" He gasps. "There's no way I could hate you!"

Pidge snorts. "You're kinda weird, but I don't hate you, either," She turns to me. "You're still on trial, though. I'll see you in court, Shiro,"

"Hey!" I let out a fake, melodramatic gasp.

Suddenly, the door swings open. "Sorry! I'm super sorry!" In stumbles Keith. "I didn't mean to be late... I hope you guys weren't worried or anything!"

"There you are... Nah. Pidge was," I snicker.

Pidge rolls her eyes for the second time. "I was not!"

Keith laughs.

"What took you so long, anyway?"

"Uh... My last period was study hall. To be honest, I sorta lost track of time..." He laughs.

"That makes no sense, though," Pidge squints her eyes. She taps her foot on the floor. "You would have heard the bell ring, at least,"

Keith shrugs, looking away. "I must have not heard it, since I was practicing piano..."

"Woah, you play piano?" Lance gasps.

"I guess I've been playing for a while, but I'm still not really good yet," The club President says.

"That must require a lot of dedication," Hunk joins our conversation.

"I'm working on writing a song, but it's not quite done yet," Keith shrugs. "When I get better, I could play it for you guys,"

"I look forward to it," I smile.

"Is that so? In that case..." He clears his throat and speaks with a new confidence. "I won't let you down, Shiro," He grins sweetly.

"I didn't mean any pressure or anything like that!"

"Don't worry! I was hoping I could share it with you, anyway. That's why I've been practicing os much recently,"

I'm not sure if Keith was referring to the whole club, or just me.

I nod. "Best of luck,"

Keith turns to everyone else. "So, I didn't miss anything, did I?"

"No, not really," I choose not to bring up anything the three of us talked about. Besides, Pidge and Hunk have already run off to their own respective activities. 

"Shiro..." Lance pulls a volume of manga from the closet. "I was wondering if you'd like to spend some time together. I mean, in the club,"

"Sure!"

"Okay! Can we start now? Let's find a place to sit--," Lance stops in his tracks, realizing he has been dragging me to the other side of the clubroom by my sleeve. He lets me go. "I'm being a little forceful, aren't I? I'm sorry! My heart won't stop pounding for some reason..."

I smile at him. "Don't worry about it! It's nice to see you have so much energy,"

"I need to calm down. I won't be able to focus like this..." 

"Take your time," 

Lance takes a few deep breaths. After he has finished, we begin walking again.

"What's this one about, anyway?" I say as we sit down at a desk. 

"Well..." He takes another deep breath and fidgets. 

I look at the cover of the manga. It's titled "Portrait of Markov" and there's an ominous eye symbol on the front. 

"Basically, it's about this religious camp that was turned into a human experiment prison... And the people trapped inside have this trait that turns them into killing machines that lust for blood. But the facility gets even worse, and they start selectively breeding people by cutting off their limbs and affixing them to..." He stops. "Oh, that might be a little bit of a spoiler... Anyway, I'm really into it!"

Lance fidgets even more when he realizes I'm staring.

"The book, I mean. Not the thing about limbs!"

I chuckle. "That's kind of--,"

That's kind of dark, isn't it? Lance made it sound like it was going to be a nice story, so that dark turn came from nowhere. 

"Are you not a fan of that kind of thing, Shiro?" Lance says, worried.

I shake my head. "No, it's not that... I can enjoy those kinds of stories, so don't worry,"

He lets out a sigh of relief. "I sure hope so. It's that kind of story. It challenges you to look at life and manga from a strange, new way. When horrible things happen, it's not just because someone wants to be evil, **but because the world is full of horrible people, and we're all worthless anyway. Then, suddenlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy** I'm rambling, aren't I? Not again... I'm sorry..."

"Hey, don't apologize!" I cradle my chin with my hands. "I haven't lost interest or anything,"

"I guess it's alright, then..." Lance sighs. "But I feel like I should let you know I have this problem... When I let things like this fill my thoughts, **my whole body gets incredibly** I kinda forget to pay attention to other people... So I'm sorry if I say something strange! And please stop me if I start talking too much!"

"I don't think you need to worry about that, Lance. We may as well get started reading it, right?"

 **"Yes!"** Lance cheers. "I mean... You don't have to, but!"

I chuckle and open the manga. "What are you saying, let's get started!"

We read from the volume for a few minutes, and I learn what it's like reading in the company of another person. It's a little hard to pay attention, but it's fun to share the story with someone else. I realize Lance has been scooting closer to me over time.

"Hey," I say, pushing my chair a little further to give him more room.

"Sorry!" He yelps. **"I was just bathing in the feeling of your body heatttttttttttttheat eattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt**

"You apologize a lot, don't you?" I look up from the manga.

Lance looks up at me, alarmed. "I... I do? I don't mean to. Sorry... I mean!"

I slide my chair closer and hold the book in the middle of the desk. "This should work better,"

We read a little longer. Eventually, I find it hard to focus again. Lance is twitching and fidgeting non-stop.

"Lance, is everything okay?" I shut the book. "You can rest if you're feeling sick or something. Your breathing is a little..."

"My breathing?" Lance puts his hands on his chest, as if to feel his heartbeat. "I didn't even notice... Anyway, I'm fine! I just need some water!"

I scoot my chair out of the way so he can get up. "Alright, don't push yourself..."

Lance stands and practically rushes out the clubroom. 

"What on Earth was that about?" I think aloud. 

"Shiro?" Keith hears me. "Did something happen just now?"

"I have no idea. Lance was acting a little strange, I guess..." I shrug.

Keith bites his lower lip. "So, you don't know anything..."

"Sorry, I can't say I do. Are you worried about him?"

Keith shakes his head with a tired sigh. "Oh... No, not really. I was just making sure you didn't do anything to him,"

"I would never!"

He laughs. "I was only kidding, silly. I believe you. Lance does this sometimes, so it's nothing alarming,"

I turn the book over in my hands anxiously. "If you say so..."

"Why don't we start sharing our poems, Shiro?" 

I raise a brow. "Shouldn't we wait for Lance to come back?"

"He might be a while, so I figured we'd just get started without him,"

I nod and pull my poem out my bag. "I was just asking..."

Keith pulls up a chair next to me. "What'd you write for today?"

I hand my poem to Keith. 

"Nice one, Shiro! You're getting good at this!" He says as he finishes. He hands me his own.

Suddenly, the door opens.

"I'm back.."

Keith flashes a smile at him. "Lance! We just started sharing. Feel free to join us,"

Lance runs to his bag to grab his poem.

Keith turns back to me. "Go ahead, read mine!"

 

 

Save Me

Poem by Keith Kogane

 

The colors, they won't

Bright, bea t ful c l rs  
Flash ng, exp nd ng, piercing  
Red, green, blue  
An ndless  
CACOPHANY  
Of meaningless  
noise

 

The noise, it won't STOP.  
Viol nt, grating w vef rms  
Sq e king, screech ng, piercing  
SINE, COSINE, TANGENT  
Like play ng a ch lkboard on a t rntable  
Like playing a KNIFE on a BREATHING RIBCAGE  
n ndl ss  
p m  
Of m n ngl ss

 

Delete Him

 

 

"Sorry, I know it's kind of abstract..." Keith chuckles nervously. "I'm just trying to... Um... Never mind. There's no point in explaining. Anyway, here's Keith's Writing Tip of the Day! Sometimes you'll find yourself facing a difficult decision... When that happens, don't forget to save your game! You never know when... Uh... Who am I talking to? Can you hear me? Tell me you can hear me? Anything?"

Please help me.

"That's my advice for today!" Keith continues. "Thanks for listening!"

"I've been waiting for this..." Lance says as I hand him my sheet of paper. "Let's see what you've written for today..."

Lance stares at the poem with a surprised expression on his face. 

I stand frozen, unsure if I should be concerned. "Do you like it?"

"Shiro..." He visibly swallows. Even his hands appear sweaty. "Everything you write is like a treasure to me... My heart pounds just holding it! I want to write a poem about this feeling... Is that bad, Shiro?"

I shake my head slowly. I have no idea what is happening. 

"I'm not being weird, right?"

I shake my head again.

Lance swallows again. His knees are shaking. "I'm having a harder time than usual concealing my emotions... I'm kind of embarrassed. But right now, I just want you to read my poem, too. Okay?"

 

 

_Wheel_

_Poem by Lance McClain_

 

_A rotating wheel. Turning an axle. Grinding. Bolthead. Linear gearbox. Falling sky. Seven holy stakes. A docked ship. A portal to another world. A thin rope tied to a thick rope. A torn harness. Parabolic gearbox. Expanding universe. Time controlled by slipping cogwheels. Existence of God. Swimming with open water in all directions. Drowning. A prayer written in blood. A prayer written in time-devouring snakes with human eyes. A thread connecting all living human eyes. A kaleidoscope of holy stakes. Exponential gearbox. A sky of exploding stars. God disproving the existence of God. A wheel rotating in six dimensions. Forty gears and a ticking clock. A clock that ticks one second for every rotation of the planet. A clock that ticks forty times every time it ticks every second time. A bolthead of holy stakes tied to the existence of a docked ship to another world. A kaleidoscope of blood written in clocks. A time-devouring prayer connecting a sky of forty gears and open human eyes in all directions. Breathing gearbox. Breathing bolthead. Breathing ship. Breathing portal. Breathing snakes. Breathing God. Breathing blood. Breathing holy stakes. Breathing human eyes. Breathing time. Breathing prayer. Breathing sky. Breathing wheel._

 

 

Lance laughs as I lift my gaze from the sheet of loose-leaf in my hands. 

"It doesn't matter what it's about... My mind has been a little hyperactive lately, so I had to take it out on your pen. That is... A pen fell out of your backpack yesterday, so I took it home for safekeeping and... I, um... I just... Really like the way it writes... So I wrote this poem with it. And now you're touching it..." Lance laughs again. "I'm okay! What did I just...? Can we pretend this conversation never happened? You can even keep the poem,"

I nod and shove his poem in my jacket pocket. I approach Pidge and Hunk.

"I liked your last one better," Pidge says as she finishes reading my work. Hunk nods in agreement.

"This one's good, but you've made better. I still liked it, though," Hunk says.

"Thanks for the feedback. I guess I just wanted to try something different. I'm still finding my style,"

"Fair enough," Pidge and Hunk shrug. Pidge hands me her poem.

 

_Amy Likes Spiders_

_Poem by Pidge Gunderson_

 

 _You know what I heard about Amy?_  
Amy likes spiders.  
Icky, wriggly, hairy, ugly spiders!  
That's why I'm not friends with her.

 _Amy has a cute singing voice._  
I heard her singing my favorite love song.  
Every time she sang the chorus, my heart would pound to the rhythm of the words.  
But she likes spiders.  
That's why I'm not friends with her.

 _One time, I hurt my leg really bad._  
Amy helped me up and took me to the nurse.  
I tried not to let her touch me.  
She likes spiders, so her hands are probably gross.  
That's why I'm not friends with her.

 _Amy has a lot of friends._  
I always see her talking to people.  
She probably talks about spiders.  
What if her friends start to like spiders too?  
That's why I'm not friends with her.

 _It doesn't matter if she has other hobbies._  
It doesn't matter if she keeps it private.  
It doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt anyone.

 _It's gross._  
She's gross.  
The world is better off without spider lovers.

_And I'm gonna tell everyone._

 

"Not bad, right?" Pidge says, puffing her chest out proudly.

I nod thoughtfully. "It's quite a bit longer than yesterday's,"  
She rolls her eyes. "Yesterday's was way too short... I was only warming up! I hope you didn't think that was the best I could do,"

"No, of course not," I shake my head as I hand her the sheet of paper.

"The message is pretty straightforward in this poem," She accepts it, folding it up and shoving it in her pocket. "I doubt I should have to explain it. Sometimes, you can explain complicated issues with much simpler analogies... Anyone would agree the subject of this poem is an ignorant jerk. Kind of ironic that even in my only space of comfort, I can't even have people respect me,"

I smile. "For what it's worth, I respect you,"

Pidge studies her shoes. "Thanks, I guess... But it's kind of obvious you respect Lance more, so..."

Hunk hands me his poem before Pidge can continue. "Here. Sorry about her,"

 

 

_Because You_

_Poem by Hunk Garrett_

 

 _Tomorrow will be brighter with me around_  
But when today is dim, I can only look down.  
My looking is a little more forward  
Because you look at me.

 _When I want to say something, I say it with a shout!_  
But my truest feelings can never come out.  
My words are a little less empty  
Because you listen to me.

 _When something is above me, I reach for the stars._  
But when I feel small, I don't get very far.  
My standing is a little bit taller  
Because you sit with me.

 _I believe in myself with all of my heart._  
But what do I do when it's torn all apart?  
My faith is a little bit stronger  
Because you trusted me.

 _My pen always puts my feelings to the test._  
I'm not a good writer, but my best is my best.  
My poems are a little bit dearer  
Because you think of me.

_Because you, because you, because you._

 

"Neat, Hunk! I know you were a bit reluctant to share your poems, but I think you're one of, if  not the most talented person here," I complement his work as I hand it back to him.

Hunk smiles. "Thank you, Shiro. That's nice to hear from you,"

"Okay, everyone!" Keith calls from the center of the clubroom. "We're all done reading each other's poems, right? We have something we need to go over today, so if everyone could come take a seat at the front of the room..."

"Is this about the festival?" Pidge whines.

"Sort of--," Keith shrugs.

"Ugh!" She groans. "Do we really have to do something for the festival? It's not like we can put anything good together in just a few days... We'll end up embarrassing ourselves instead of getting any new members,"

"Yeah!" Lance pipes up. "I don't like last-minute preparations,"

"Don't worry so much!" Keith smiles reassuringly. "We're going to keep it simple, okay? I know everyone's been a little more lively ever since Shiro's joined and we've started some club activities. But this isn't the time for us to become complacent. We still only have five members... And the festival is our only real chance to find more, you know?"

Pidge groans, crossing her arms against her chest. "What's so great about getting new members, anyway? We already have enough to be considered an official club. More members will just mean everything gets noisier and more difficult to manage,"

Keith sighs and I can tell this isn't the first time this club has had this discussion. "Pidge... I don't think you're looking at this the right way at all. Don't you want to share your passion with as many people as you can? To inspire them to find the same feelings that brought you here in the first place? The Literature Club should be a place where people can express themselves like they can't do anywhere else. It should be a place so intimate you never want to leave. I know you feel that way, too. I know we all do! That's why we should work hard and put something together for the festival, even if it's something small! Right, Shiro?"

"Ah..." I cringe. That's a bit manipulative, isn't it? 

Hunk gasps. "You can't take advantage of Shiro to agree with you just because he doesn't know how to say no to anything!" 

Pidge nods in agreement with Hunk. "Look, Keith. Do you really think any of us here joined the club with other people in mind? Hunk rarely spoke until Shiro joined! As for me, I just like it better here than I do at home. Lance just needs a place to hide his manga! And Shiro isn't even passionate about literature in the first place! Sorry, but you're the only one here who's interested in finding new members. The rest of us are fine like this. I know you're club President and all, but you should really consider our opinions for once,"

Keith is clearly taken aback by Pidge's words. 

"That's... That's not true at all. I'm sure Hunk, Lance and Shiro want more members, too. Right?" He looks at us, as if urging us to nod along.

 I don't know about Hunk and Lance, but I'm indifferent. If I showed as much enthusiasm as Keith wanted, then I would be lying. Still, if it's up to me to rescue this situation...

"No..." Keith speaks up before I do. "Pidge is right, isn't she? This club... It's nothing more than a place for a few friends to hang out. Why did I think everyone here saw it the same way I did?"

I attempt to save this conversation from going off the deep end. "That doesn't mean we're against new members or anything..."

Keith turns to me. "Shiro, why did you even join this club? What were you hoping to get out of it?"

"Well..."

That's not something I can be honest about, is it?

"In fact," Keith sits down at a desk. "You weren't even given a choice whether or not to join. What's the point in all this, anyway? What if starting this club was a mistake?"

We all stare at one another in silence.

"Now you've done it, Pidge..." Lance mutters.

Pidge snaps. "What, me?! I just spoke my mind! Is it a crime to be honest?"

Hunk steps in between them. "It's not about being honest. It's about word choice. Pidge, you had no right to speak for everyone else in the club like that..."

"You don't understand at all! I just... I just want a safe place to hang out with a few friends everyday... Is there a problem for a club being that for me? There aren't many other places like this that I have... And now Keith is trying to take it away!" Pidge gestures wildly.

"He's not taking anything away--," I try.

"No, Shiro. It's not the same. It won't be the same with the direction he wants to take it. If I wanted that, then I would've joined any other stupid club. This one... I mean... At least for a little bit of time, things were nice," Pidge starts packing up her things. "I'm going home. I don't belong here right now,"

Hunk reaches for her. "Pidge..."

Pidge ignores him and walks out the clubroom. 

"This is bad..." Lance huffs. 

Hunk's voice cracks. "I don't know what to do..."

"Do you have an opinion on the festival?" I ask the two before they start to panic. 

Hunks shrugs. "I don't know... I'm the Vice President, and I'm ignoring my responsibilities. I should do my best to consider everyone's perspective and help Keith make the decision that's best for the club,"

Lance follows suit. "I'm neutral, I guess. **Who cares about that obnoxious brat?** I mean, I like how nice and quiet the club is right now... And I'm happy with you guys here, but still! **Nobody would cry if she killed herself.** But what about you, Shiro? What do you want to get out of this club?"

Lance repeats the same question as Keith. Giving an indirect answer is better than nothing. 

"I think the most important thing is for everyone to get along and for the club to provide something you can't get anywhere else. I don't think it's about how many members, but the quality of each member. That's what will end up making the Literature Club a special place,"

Hunk and Lance nod in approval. I guess that means I said something right.

"I see..." Lance hums.

Hunk gives me a tired smile. "I agree with you, Shiro. Each member contributes their own qualities in a special way. With each change in members, the identity of the club as a whole changes, too,"

"I don't think that's a bad thing. Stepping out of your comfort zone once in a while... If you would like to help Keith with the festival, then I'm on your side as well," Lance adds.

"Alright," I straighten my posture. "Maybe we could talk to Pidge about this tomorrow..."

Keith's voice pulls us out of our little chat. "Hey, Lance?"

Lance looks over his shoulder at him. "Eh?"

"I know things were a little awkward yesterday..." Keith fiddles with a button on his uniform. "But I feel like you deserve to know you're a wonderful member of this club. And also a wonderful friend. The same goes for you, Hunk,"

Lance's jaw drops. "Aw, Keith..."

Hunk wraps his arms around Keith in a giant bear hug.

Keith smiles. "I want to do everything I can to make this the best club ever. And I can't do that on my own,"

"Me too!" Lance cheers, rushing in to join the hug. He drags me in as well. 

As soon as we are all released from Hunk's tight hold, we begin to pack up our things.

"We'll talk about the festival tomorrow, okay?" Keith swings his bag over his shoulder. 

"I look forward to it," I grin.

"Shall we go, Shiro?" Lance gestures to the door. 

"Uh..." Keith butts in. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but... I need to chat a bit with Shiro before we leave... Just to see what he thinks of his time here and all that,"

Lance looks a little troubled, but he doesn't protest. "I trust your judgement, Keith,"

Hunk pats Lance's back and waves as they head out the door. "We'll see you two tomorrow!"

 


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	16. please

**Things have been a bit hectic lately, haven't they? I just wanted to make sure you're enjoying your time at this club. I would hate to see you unhappy. I feel like I'm responsible for that, as President... And I really do care about you, you know?**

**I don't like seeing the other members giving you a hard time. With how they can be and everything... Especially with Lance being a little bit... You know.**

**Sometimes it feels like you and I are the only real people here. You know what I mean? But it's weird, because in all the time you've been here, we've hardly gotten to spend any time together. I mean... I guess it's technically only been a couple days... Sorry, I didn't mean to sound weird. There are just things I've been hoping to talk about with you. Things I know only you could understand... So that's why-- Wait! Not yet! Please!**

**You always have to leave, don't you?**


	17. Chapter XVIII

"Hi, Shiro!" Lance latches onto me as soon as I pass through the door. "I've been waiting for you! Are you ready to continue reading? I brought some tea today!"

"Keith!" Pidge shouts from her desk. "Is he really late again?"

Lance sneers. "Inconsiderate as usual, Pidge,"

"Excuse me?" She squints at the Cuban boy. 

"Must you always interrupt my conversations with your incessant yelling?" Lance groans. 

Pidge scowls. "What are you talking about? You say that like I do it on a regular basis or something! I just wasn't paying attention, okay? I'm sorry..." She looks at the ground. "Seriously... What's gotten into you lately?"

"Me?" He points to himself. "Nothing!"

Pidge says nothing, only staring at Lance through suspicious eyes.

Lance gives in. "Is it really that bad?"

"See, it is something!" 

"I'll get over it!" Lance says defensively. "It's nothing important... I've just been feeling on edge lately. We don't need to talk about it!"

Pidge shrugs. "Well, I just felt like I needed to bring it up... Sorry. I care about you, man..."

Keith bursts into the room. "Aw, crap! I'm the last one here again!"

"Shiro just walked in, too," Pidge says.

Lance picks at his fingernails anxiously. "Were you practicing piano again?"

"Yeah..." Keith chuckles, embarrassed. 

"You must have a lot of determination," Hunk says from behind his book. "Starting this club and still trying to make time for piano..."

Keith smiles pensively. "I wouldn't call it determination... I suppose passion. It motivates me to work hard for the festival and... Um... Right. I forgot,"

Pidge furrows her eyebrows at Keith.

"About that, Pidge..." Hunk explains. "We were all talking yesterday and we decided we would like to support the festival as well. However, I understand how you feel about not wanting the club to change. I think we all feel that way. So long as we're all working together, this club will never turn into something we don't want,"

Pidge perks up. She laughs. "I did some thinking about yesterday. I acted more hostile than I meant to be... I guess I felt threatened or something. But I know this is something we're doing together. Another new member wouldn't hurt, as long as they're cool. And I guess another girl would be nice. But more importantly, I would hate to see the event suck because I chose to back out. I'll help you with the festival, so long as what you said about not changing the club is true,"

Lance sighs in relief. "Thank God... "

Hunk smiles and looks to Keith. "Isn't that great, Keith?"

Keith is zoned out, staring off into space.

"Keith?" Hunk repeats.

Lance waves his hand in front of Keith's face. "Earth to Keith!"

Keith snaps back into reality. "Oh! Yeah, that's wonderful! It wouldn't be the same without you, Pidge. Anyway, Shiro... What do you wanna do today? I was thinking we could--,"

"We already have plans today," Lance interrupts. 

"Ah..." Keith blinks. "Is that so?"

Lance nods. "Shiro is already engaged in a manga we're reading together. Aren't you glad I've gotten him into literature, Keith?"

"I... I suppose," Keith swallows. "I was just... Actually, it doesn't matter. It doesn't. You guys can go do whatever you want,"

Lance mouths 'yes', pumping his fist in the air. "Thanks for understanding, Keith,"

The club members branch off into their own tasks. Lance turns to me as he pulls out the copy of 'Portrait of Markov'. 

"Do you mind if I make some tea first?"

I grin. "Not at all!"

"Thanks. If there's one thing that can make my reading time here any better, it's a nice cup of tea. Not to mention for yourself, as well," Lance makes his way to the closet. I follow and watch as he retrieves a small water pitcher from the shelf, the kind with a filter inside. 

"Can you hold this for a second?" 

"Sure," I say as he hands me the pitcher and fetches an electric kettle. 

Lance sets the kettle on the desk and takes the pitcher from me. "Plug the kettle in while I grab some water," He starts to walk past me.

"Ah, I might as well come with you..." I begin to follow him out the clubroom.

"That's okay!" Lance blocks the door. "You stay here... It won't take long!"

Pitcher in hand, Lance hurries out the room. I plug in the kettle like I'm told as Keith approaches me.

"Did Lance leave you again?"

I move the electric kettle to the middle of the desk to ensure it doesn't fall over. "No, it's not like that this time. He's just filling up the water pitcher to make tea,"

Keith clicks his tongue. "Ah! Okay! Sorry for misunderstanding,"

Ten minutes pass. Lance said he wouldn't take long... Is something holding him up? 

"Let's see..." I say, peeking my head out the clubroom. The most logical place for him to be is the nearest water fountain. I head down the hallway. 

"Haaaah.... Haaaaah.... Haaah... Hah..."

What's that noise? It's coming from around the corner. It sounds like breathing. 

"Khhhhh....."

A sharp inhale, like someone is sucking the air through their teeth. Are they in pain? I reach the corner and peer around it. 

"Lance?"

 

 

_An exception has occurred._   
_File/"game/script-ch18.rpy" , line 1009_   
_See traceback.txt for details._

 

_Libitina_

_Poem by Lance McClain_

 

_I can feel the tenderness of her skin through the knife, as if it were an extension of my sense of touch. My body nearly convulses. There's something incredibly faint, deep down, that screams to resist this uncontrollable pleasure. But I can already tell that I'm being pushed over the edge. I can't...I can't stop myself._

_Fresh blood seeps through the line parting her skin and slowly colors her breast red. I begin to hyperventilate as my compulsion grows. The images won't go away. Images of me driving the knife into her flesh continuously, ruining her body with the blade, making a mess of her. My head starts going crazy as my thoughts start to return. Shooting pain assaults my mind along with my thoughts. This is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. How could I ever let myself think these things? But it's unmistakable. The lust continues to linger through my veins. An ache in my muscles stems from the unreleased tension experienced by my entire body. Her Third Eye is drawing me closer._

Lance screams and drops his pocket knife. 

_Resolving conflict..._

nuora reep dna renroc eht hcaer I ?niap ni yeht erA .hteet rieht hguorht ria eht gnikcus si enoemos ekil ,elahni prahs A".....hhhhhK" .gnihtaerb ekil sdnuos tI .renroc eht dnuora morf gnimoc s'tI ?esion taht s'tahW"...haH ...haaaH ....haaaaaH ....haaaaH" .yawllah eht nwod daeh I .niatnuof retaw tseraen eht si eb to mih rof ecalp lacigol tsom ehT .moorbulc eht tuo daeh ym gnikeep ,yas I "...ees s'teL" ?pu mih gnidloh gnihtemos sI ...gnol ekat t'ndluow eh dias ecnaL .ssap setunim neT",gnidnatsrednusim rof yrroS !yakO !hA" .eugnot sih skcilc htieK",aet ekam ot rehctip retaw eht pu gnillif tsuj s'eH .emit siht taht ekil ton s'ti ,oN" .revo llaf t'nseod ti erusne ot ksed eht fo elddim eht ot elttek cirtcele eht evom I"?niaga uoy evael ecnaL diD"

"I'm back!" Lance enters the room with a full pitcher. "Thanks for being patient,"

I nod. "No problem,"

"Do you like oolong tea?" He asks.

I shrug, insouciant. "Anything is fine,"

Lance sets the temperature on the kettle to 200 degrees. "Now, it's time to get the teapot,"

"You like to do this properly, don't you?" 

Lance chuckles. "Of course! I shouldn't do any less when I'm making tea for others,"

"Even if I'm not an expert on tea or anything?" I turn in my seat to look at him.

"In that case, you'll only be more impressed,"

I beam. "Perhaps I will!"

Lance grabs the teapot and begins measuring the tea leaves. To my surprise, he even starts humming to himself. 

"You must be in a good mood,"

He pulls out more leaves from a pouch. "Is that so? I was letting it show... And you noticed. I did a bit of thinking, Shiro. I decided I want to try expressing myself a bit more. It turns out it's not very difficult to do... When it's you who's around, anyway,"

My heart skips a beat. "That's great, Lance! Just don't push yourself too much,"

"You're always worrying about me, Shiro. It's very endearing,"

"That's..." I trail off.

Lance wasn't kidding! I don't know if I can keep up with this. I watch him pour a cup of tea for each of us. 

"Shiro, I have another request. Do you mind if we sit on the floor today?" He says, unplugging the electric kettle. 

"Why's that?" 

"It's easier on my back. I can read with my back against the wall rather than hunching over a desk," Lance explains. "I have back pain regularly, so I'm trying my best to manage it. It's mostly because of my poor posture,"

"Sure thing, Lance," I get up from my seat and plop onto the ground. "By the way, I have some chocolate,"

I army-crawl to my bag and yank out the chocolate bar I'd been saving for a special occasion. I hand it to Lance once I return to the other side of the clubroom. Lance and I then sit against the wall, teacups at our sides. We hold the manga volume together, each holding one half of the book. Except this time, our bodies are closer.

"I can't see too well.." Lance slides closer until our shoulders are touching. 

How am I supposed to focus on reading like this? Lance was always kind of cute, but... When he's being less apprehensive, it's more than I can handle. 

"Your teacup..." Lance hands me my tea. 

Holding it with my hand that's not holding half of the book, I end up in a position that makes it even harder to focus. Now, I need to worry about making sure I don't drop my teacup! Meanwhile, Lance hasn't noticed a thing.  He wears an intense reading expression and I can only presume the world around him has faded away. I use all of my willpower to focus on reading and not dropping the teacup and holding the book. 

After a few minutes, I manage to relax a little. I put the teacup between my legs and fumble with the chocolate wrapper. I apologize to Lance as I briefly let go of the book to finish opening the wrapper. "You can have as much as you want," I say, gesturing to the chocolate. 

"That's okay, I won't take any. I might get smudges on the pages," He shakes his head.

I frown. "Ah, you're right. I didn't even think about that. My bad..."

"No need to apologize. I'll hold the book, okay?"

I tilt my head. "Are you sure?"

"Of course," Lance holds the book open with both hands, careful to keep it in my sight. As a result, his left arm is resting on top of my leg. He's already totally immersed in the book again. 

I take a square of chocolate and pop it into my mouth. Then, I pick up another square and hold it up to Lance.

He doesn't look away from the book. He simply parts his lips, as if this situation were completely natural. But that means I can't stop here! I carefully place the chocolate in his mouth. Just like that, Lance closes his lips over it. His expression suddenly breaks.

"Did I just?"

Lance looks at me like he needs to confirm what just happened. 

"Sorry. I guess I shouldn't have done that," I apologize. 

Lance starts to breathe heavily. "I... I can't. Shiro!"

Suddenly, Lance forcefully grabs my arm and yanks me to my feet. My teacup gets knocked over.

"Shiro... My heart. My heart won't stop pounding. I can't calm down. I can't focus on anything anymore! Can you feel it, Shiro?"

He presses my hand against his chest. 

"Why is this happening to me? I feel like I'm losing my mind! I can't make it stop! It even makes me not want to read... I just want... I just want to look at you!"

Lance's blue eyes bore into mine. His stare is so intense, it almost hurts. My knees shake and begin to buckle. My world goes dark and just as I feel as if I'm drifting into unconsciousness, another voice cuts in.

"Um?" Keith stands in front of us, puzzled. "It's time to share poems?"

I scramble away from Lance as fast as I can and take shelter by Keith.

"Shiro, I think you saw something earlier you weren't supposed to see. I didn't want to have to tell you this, but I don't think I have a choice..." Keith begins with a sigh. "It's getting kind of dangerous for you to spend so much time with Lance. I don't know why, but he seems pretty excitable when he's around you, which shouldn't be a problem in itself. But when Lance gets too excited, he finds a place to hide and starts cutting himself with a pocket knife. Isn't that messed up?  He even brings a different one to school everyday, like he has a collection or something. It's not because he's depressed or anything like that! I think he just gets some kind of high from it. But the point is, you've been enabling him. I'm not saying it's your fault, though! But I had to explain it all to you... If you keep your distance, that would probably be best for him,"

I swallow what feels like a golf ball in my throat. 

Keith smiles sweetly. "While you're at it, don't be shy to spend a little more time with me...! To put it lightly, I at least have it together in the head and I know how to treat my club members. Anyway... I worked super hard on this poem, so I hope it's effective! Here goes..."


	18. the blue screen

Your PC ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting some error info, and then we'll restart for you. 

(0% completed)

If you'd like to know more, you can search online later for this error: VLDLC_ESCAPE_PLAN_FAILED


	19. sorry? i tried, takashi

Um... Well, I guess I messed up at, uh... 'writing' this poem. I was just trying to... Never mind. Let's just move on, okay? 


	20. Chapter XX

"This one's alright..." Pidge shrugs. "It's better than yesterday's,"

I've come to the conclusion that I'll never impress Pidge, no matter how hard I try. 

She continues, still glaring at the sheet of paper I handed her. "I still can't tell how much you really care about writing, but either way, you're doing decent. Even though you're not spending time with anyone but Lance... I still think it's nice to have activities we all participate in. Keep working at it, Shiro! I know I'm not President or Vice President, or anything... But that doesn't mean you can let me down, okay? Here's mine. To be clear, this poem means the world to me. Read it carefully, okay?" Pidge hands me her poem, which is folded up neatly.

 

_I don't know how else to bring this up. But there's been something I've been worried about. Lance has been acting kind of strange lately. You've only been here a few days, so you may not know what I mean. But he's not normally like this. He's always been energetic and fun, not mature, anxious and timid._

_Okay... This is really embarrassing, but I'm forcing myself to suck it up. The truth is, I'm REALLY worried about him. But if I try talking to him, he'll just get mad at me again. I don't know what to do. I think you're the only person that he'll listen to. I don't know why. But please try to do something. Maybe you can convince him to talk to a therapist._

_I've always wanted to try being better friends with Lance, and it really hurts me to see this happening. I know I'm going to hate myself later for admitting that, but right now I don't care. I just feel so helpless. So please see if you can do something to help. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I'll pay Hunk to make you cupcakes if I have to. Just please try to do something._

_As for Keith... I don't know why, but he's been really dismissive about this. It's like he just wants us to ignore it. So I'm mad at him right now, and that's why I'm coming to you about this. DON'T LET HIM KNOW I WROTE THIS!!!! Just pretend like I gave you a really good poem, okay? I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading._

 

-. --- --..-- -. --- -.-- --- ..- .-- --- -. - 

**"I've changed my mind. Ignore everything you just read. There's no point in trying to do anything. It's Lance's own fault he's so unlikable. Can you hear me, Shiro? If you would just spend more time with Keith, all these problems would go away. Lance, Hunk and I are too messed up for someone as wonderful as you. Just think of Keith from now on. Just Keith. Just Keith. Just Keith,"**

(just keith??)

**"JUST KEITH,"**

(okay.)

 


	21. just keith

**just keit hj ust keithjus tke ithjustk ei thjus tke ith justke ithjustke. ithjustkeit hju stk eithjustk eith justkei th justkeithj ust keit hjus k eith justkeithj ustkeith just keit. hju stke ithjust keithjus, tkeith justk** **http://vld.moe/warning.html**

**ei thjustk EIT Hjustkeith Just, kei thjus tkei thj ust kei thjus tkeithju stkei th jus, tke ith justkei th just keithjus tk eihly disturbing content.**

**Please enter JUST KEITH.**

J-U-S-T-K-E-I-T-H  
**___________________________**


	22. Chapter XXII

"Finally..." Lance laughs. He holds my poem to his face and takes a deep breath. "I love it. I love everything about it. Shiro, I want to take this home. Will you let me keep it? Please?"

I shrug nonchalantly. "Sure, I don't care,"

"Ahaha!" He laughs again. "You're too nice to me, Shiro... I've never met anyone as nice as you. I could die... Not really, but! I just don't know how to describe it. It's okay for me to be feeling this way, right? It's not bad, right?"

Lance holds my poem close to his chest.

"I'm going to take this home with me and keep it in my room... I hope it makes you feel good when you think about me having it. I'll take good care of it! **I'll even cut myself while reading it over and over and over and over and I'll give myself paper cuts so your skin oil enters my bloodstream** You can have my poem, too! After reading it, I know you're going to want it forever. Take it! I can't wait any longer!"

The paper is covered in splashes of red and yellow. The paper smells awful. I don't want to know what he's done to make it that way.

_mdpnfbo,jrfp_

Poem by Lance McClain

ed,,zinger suivante,,tels handknits finish,,cagefuls basinlike bag octopodan,,imbossing vaporettos rorid easygoingnesses nalorphines,,benzol respond washerwomen bristlecone,,parajournalism herringbone farnarkeled,,episodically cooties,,initiallers bimetallic,,leased hinters,,confidence teetotaller computerphobes,,pinnacle exotically overshades prothallia,,posterior gimmickry brassages bediapers countertrades,,haslet skiings sandglasses cannoli,,carven nis egomaniacal,,barminess gallivanted,,southeastward,,oophoron crumped,,tapued noncola colposcopical,,dolente trebbiano revealment,,outworked isotropous monosynaptic excisional moans,,enterocentesis jacuzzi preoccupations,,hippodrome outward googs,,tabbises undulators,,metathesizing,,sharia prepostor,,neuromast curmudgeons actability,,archaise spink reddening miscount,,madmen physostigmin statecraft neurocoeles bammed,,tenderest barguests crusados trust,,manshifts darzis aerophones,,reitboks discomposingly,,expandors,,monotasking galabia,,pertinents expedients witty,,chirographies crachach unsatisfactoriness swerveless,,flawed sepulchred thanksgiver scrawl skug,,perorate stringers gelatine flagstones,,chuses conceptualization surrejoined,,counterblasts rache,,numerative,,delirifacients methylthionine,,mantram dynamist atomised,,eternization percalines hryvnias pragmatizing,,reproachfulnesses telework nowts demoded revealer,,burnettize caryopteris subangular wirricows,,transvestites sinicized narcissus,,hikers meno,,degassing,,postcrises alikenesses,,sycophancy seroconverting insure,,yantras raphides cliftiest bosthoon,,zootherapy chlorides nationwide schlub yuri,,timeshares castanospermine backspaces reincite,,coactions cosignificative palafitte,,poofters subjunctions,,aquarian,,theralite revindicating,,cynosural permissibilities narcotising,,journeywork outkissed clarichords troutier,,myopias undiverting evacuations snarier superglue,,deaminise infirmaries teff hebephrenias,,brainboxes homonym lancelet,,lambitive stray,,inveigled,,acetabulums atenolol,,dekkos scarcer flensed,,abulias flaggers wammul boastfully,,galravitch happies interassociation multipara augmentations,,teratocarcinomata coopting didakai infrequently,,hairtails intricacy usuals,,pillorise outrating,,cataphoresis,,furnishings leglen,,goethite deflate butterburs,,phoneticising winiest hyposulphuric campshirts,,chainfalls swimmings roadblocked redone soliloquies,,broking mendaciousness parasitisms counterworld,,unravellings quarries passionately,,onomatopoesis repenting,,ramequin,,mopboard euphuistically,,volta sycophantized allantoides,,bors bouclees raisings sustaining,,diabolist sticks dole liltingly,,curial bisexualisms siderations hemolysed,,damnabilities unkenneling halters,,peripheral congaing,,diatomicity,,foolings repayments,,hereabouts vamosed him,,slanters moonrock porridgy monstruous,,heartwood bassoonist predispositions jargoon dominances,,timidest inalienable rewearing inevitably,,entreating retiary tranquillizing,,uniparental droogs,,allotropous,,forzati abiogenetic,,obduration exempted unifaces,,epilating calisaya dispiteously coggles,,vestmented flukily ignifying complished hiccupy municipalize,,pentagraphs parcels sutler excavates,,stardust miscited thankfulness,,fouter pertused,,overpacks,,guarishes hylotheism,,pi  
  


"Do you like it?" 

Lance's eyes are drilling into mine again. I take a step back as I feel my heart pound in my chest. 

"I wrote it for you!"

I shake my head and try to shut my eyes, but to no avail. It's as if some invisible force is holding them open, forcing me to stare back into his burning eyes.

"I've even endowed it with my scent!"

I feel my eyes start to water and eventually dry out. I'm shaking. I can't breathe.

"Aren't I the most thoughtful person in the club?"

I scream. My vocal chords can't take the strain and I'm suddenly sobbing.  

Lance suddenly springs back. His mouth is agape and he's trembling, too. 

"I... I think I'm going to vomit..."

He rushes out the room and my head meets the ground as I fall limp.

 


	23. you're scaring me

Can you hear me?

(I wish I couldn't)

 


	24. Chapter XXIV

"Okay, everyone!" Keith's voice drags us all to the center of the room. "It's time to figure out the festival preparations. Let's hurry up and get this over with,"

Pidge groans. "Jeez... Why is the mood so weird today? Look, even Hunk isn't immune to it!"

Hunk shrugs. "Stagnating air is common foreshadowing that something terrible is about to happen..."

"Look, can we just get this done? I'm going to be printing and assembling all the poetry pamphlets," Keith says, propping a hand on his hip. "Hunk, I was thinking--,"

"I'm making cupcakes!" Hunk jumps in.

Keith nods. "Yeah, that. Glad we're on the same page. Pidge, you can make some posters and hang them up around the school. Lance, you can... Uh... It doesn't matter. Do whatever you want, as long as you think it will help,"

Lance looks up at him with shocked eyes. "Keith... I'm not useless, you know!"

"I know that!" Keith scoffs.

"I already know what I'd like to do," Lance sits up straight, staring at Keith almost defiantly. "We can't run a successful poetry event without having the right atmosphere for the occasion. I'm going to make decorations and set up some nice mood lighting!"

Keith smiles. "See? That's a great idea. And that gives us all something to do,"

"Um?" Pidge gestures to me.

Lance frowns. "What about Shiro?"

"Shiro is going to help me,"

"Wait, you?" Hunk squints. "You have the easiest job, Keith!"

"Sorry, but that's just how it is," The club President shrugs, indifferent to the building tension.

Pidge screeches. "Like hell it is! What are you trying to pull?!"

Lance comes forward. "I agree with Pidge and Hunk! Not only is your work easy enough for one person, but my task is laborious enough to benefit from an extra pair of hands!"

"Come on, you too, Lance?!" Pidge rolls her eyes. "You're being ridiculous, both of you! I need the most help!"

Hunk groans. "Me too!"

Lance cringes disdainfully. "For your cupcakes?! Please!"

"Like you would know!"

"All you care about is dragging Shiro around with your stupid manga! You and Keith!"

Keith gasps. "Hey! I didn't even do anything!"

"Okay, then why not let Shiro decide who to help instead of abusing your power?"

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm not abusing my power!"

"Yes you are, Keith,"

"Just let Shiro make the choice, okay?" Hunk attempts to calm the group before it explodes into full-on chaos. 

"Fine! God!" Keith hushes him. 

"Jeez," Pidge glares at Keith as she speaks. "Shiro, I know how fed up you are with these three by now. We can just--,"

"Pidge, shut your mouth and let him decide for himself!" Lance snaps at her.

"You shut your mouth!"

"Jesus Christ..." Keith sighs, throwing his hands in the air. "This is never going to end. Just make a choice, okay?"

**The ground rushes up to meet my head again.**

 


	25. Chapter XXV

"Yay, you picked me!" Keith cheers. "We can meet at your house this weekend, okay? I promise it'll be fun! Is Sunday okay with you?"

Pidge looks past her breaking point. "Are you kidding me?! This isn't fair at all!"

Keith smiles and something sinister shows in his grin. "It is fair, Pidge. It's what he chose,"

"No, it's not fair!" Lance hollers, at the end of his rope. "You've given us all this work and then taken Shiro for yourself!"

Hunk joins the protest. "What an awful thing to do!"

"Lance, I didn't even give you any work. You decided it for yourself. Don't you think you're being a little unreasonable here?"

Lance steps forward, as if to challenge Keith. "I'm being unreasonable?! Keith, I can't believe how delusional and self-important you are! Pulling Shiro away from me every single time you're not included in something. Are you jealous? Crazy? Or maybe you just hate yourself so much you take it out on others?! Here's a suggestion: Have you considered killing yourself? It would be beneficial to your mental health,"

Hunk sets his hand on Lance's shoulder. "Lance, you're scaring me a little..."

Keith gestures to the door. "Pidge, Hunk, let's just go. I don't think he wants us around right now,"

Lance nods vigorously. "See? That wasn't very hard! All I want is to spend a little time with him. Is that too much to ask?"

Lance follows Keith, Lance and Hunk to the door. 

"Hey, Shiro?" Keith giggles as he's ushered outside. "Lance really is something, isn't he?"

"Finally..." Lance says, stumbling towards me. "This is all I've ever wanted. Shiro, there's no need to spend the weekend with Keith... Don't listen to him. Just come to my house instead. The whole day, with just the two of us. Doesn't that sound wonderful?"

I shake my head so hard it hurts, slowly stepping away from him.

"Wow, there really is something wrong with me, isn't there? But I don't care! I can't care anymore. I've never felt this good my whole life. Just being with you is a far greater pleasure than I could ever imagine... I'm addicted to you. It feels like I'm going to die if I'm not breathing the same air as you. Doesn't it feel nice to have someone care about you so much? To have someone who wants to revolve their entire life around you? But if it feels so good... Then why does it feel more and more like something terrible is going to happen? Maybe that's why I tried stopping myself at first... But the feeling is too strong, now. I don't care anymore, Shiro!"

I reach for the door's handle behind my back. 

"I have to tell you! I'm... I'm madly in love with you! Every inch of my body... Every drop of blood in me is screaming your name. I don't care what the consequences are anymore! I don't care if Keith is listening! Please, Shiro, just know how much I love you... I just want to pull your skin open and crawl inside you! I want you all to myself! And I will be only yours..."

I can't turn the handle. My wrist is at such an odd angle it's impossible to open the door.

"Doesn't that sound perfect? Tell me, Shiro... Tell me you want to be my lover. Do you accept my confession?"

"God, no!" I scream. "Not on your life!"

Lance laughs. A flash of silver flies from his pocket and plunges into his ribs. Red blood splatters over the front of my uniform and pours out the gaping hole in his chest. His eyes glaze over as he collapses onto the floor. 

_An exception has occurred..._


	26. Chapter XXVI

Only god knows how long I've sat here. The blood splattered up the fronts of our uniforms is now a crusty, muddy brown. I could be stuck here for the whole weekend with nothing to do except watch the color drain from Lance's face.

 


	27. Chapter XXVII

There's no longer any light filtering in through the clubroom windows. The temperature in here has dropped significantly, leaving me shivering. I consider removing Lance's uniform jacket to keep me warm. 


	28. Chapter XXVIII

Once the sun rises, it's warm and light again. Lance's face is pale. His cheeks are sunken. 


	29. Chapter XXIX

It's the same for the entire weekend. Sunrise, forced to stare at Lance. Midday, forced to stare at Lance. Sunset, forced to stare at Lance. 

I want to sleep. My body is crying.


	30. Chapter XXX

"Alright, it's festival time!" Pidge stops at the door, holding a tall stack of posters. She stares down at me and I assume she hasn't seen Lance's body yet. "Wow, you got here before me? I thought I was pretty--,"

She screams and drops her posters. They scatter all over the bloody floor. Her shoes clack against the tile as she runs out the room. 

Hunk comes in right after her and immediately throws up into the trash bin upon seeing the corpse. He looks up from the bin as Keith enters.

Keith freezes, surveying the scene.

Hunk leaves and abandons the cupcake trays. 

Keith squints. "Did something happen here, Shiro? Pidge ran past me and Hunk left..." His eyes trail from the bloody floor, to my uniform, to the dead body. "Oh. Oh...."

I scoot away.

Keith laughs. " Ahaha... That's a shame. Wait, were you here the entire weekend, Shiro? Oh, jeez... I didn't realize the script was broken that badly. I'm super sorry! That must've been pretty boring. I'll make it up to you, okay? Gimme a sec..."

With a snap of his fingers, he fixes everything.

 

_> os.remove("characters/lance.chr")_

_lance.chr deleted successfully._

 

_> os.remove("characters/hunk.chr")_

_hunk.chr deleted successfully._

 

_> os. remove("characters/pidge.chr")_

_pidge.chr removed successfully._

 

Keith flashes me a big, cheery smile. "I'm almost done! I just want to have a cupcake real quick!"

He lifts the foil from .... ..- -. -.- .----. ... tray and takes a cupcake.  "Seriously, these are the best! I really just had to have one, since it's the last time I'll ever get the chance to," He giggles. "You know, before they stop existing and everything,"

.-.. .- -. -.-. . .----. ... blood still covers my shirt and jacket. I want to say something, but I can't.

"I shouldn't be making you wait longer," Keith finishes his cupcake. "Just bear with me, okay? This will only take a second..."

 


	31. you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

this makes zero sense??

ple      ase

 

im sure something is broken 

i dont know anything about mcutpoesr

 

i swear, if this wnae dogalomd gave me a virus, im going to eeeeeee


	32. our own little place

I open my eyes to almost complete darkness.

"Can you hear me?" A familiar voice says from where I assume is in front of me.

The lights come on. I wish they didn't.

I haven't a clue where I am. It looks like an empty classroom, but the one uncovered window displays what I can only describe is the inside of a computer.

"Yay! There you are!" Keith pulls up a chair for me.

I cautiously sit on it. Keith and I are sitting across from each other at a lone desk.

Keith smiles. "Welcome to the Literature Club! Of course, we already know each other because we were in the same class last year, and... Um... Ahaha... I guess we can just skip past all that stuff at this point. After all, I'm not even talking to that person anymore, am I? That character you play in the game, whatever you want to call him. I'm talking to _you,_ Shiro. Wait, that's not even your real name. Your full name is something like Takashi Shirogane, right?"

It's too quiet.

"Now that I think of it, I don't really know anything about the real you. In fact, I don't even know your gender... But I don't care about that,"

Too quiet.

Keith leans back in his seat. "You do know I'm aware this is all a game, right? Could it be possible you didn't know that? That doesn't make much sense... I even told you on the game's download page! If you paid a little more attention, this would be a lot less awkward,"

Stop.

"Now that we've got that out of the way, I guess I owe you an explanation. About that whole thing with Lance... I kind of started to mess with his file it think it drove him to kill himself. Ahaha! I'm sorry you had to see that, though. Hold on..."

The box of text breaks. It's no longer just white letters dancing across my screen, but a voice in my headphones.

**Ahem... Is this better? Sorry, my voice is a bit scratchy. Sore throat, you know?**

What the hell?

**Back to my explanation... The same thing happened with Matt. Gosh, it's been a while now since you've last heard that name ow, hasn't it?**

My saves are gone.

**It's because he doesn't exist anymore. Nobody does! I deleted all their files. I was hoping it would be enough for me to just try to make them all as unlikable as possible... For some reason, nothing worked. You're too accepting.**

My mouse isn't working.

**It's true I made a few mistakes here and there, since I'm not good at making changes to the game. No matter what I did, you just kept spending more and more time with them. You made them fall in love with you... I thought making Matthew more and more depressed would prevent him from confessing to you. Amplifying Lance's obsessive personality backfired, too... It just made him force you to not spend time with anyone else. Pidge's temper wasn't enough to keep you away from her. Only Hunk stayed away from you... I didn't change much for that. I just gave him a fake girlfriend outside of school. I named her Shay.**

I want to leave.

**The whole time, I barely got to talk to you. What kind of cruel game is this, Takashi?**

Piss off. I don't have to talk to a computer.

_An exception has occurred..._

**Sorry. Had to turn off your mic.**

**Are all the other club members programmed to end up confessing to you, while I watch from the sidelines? It's torture... Every minute of it. It's not just jealousy, Takashi. It's so much more than that. I don't blame you if you don't fully understand. No matter how kind and thoughtful and considerate you are... You'll never be able to understand one thing. It's the pain of knowing how alone I really am in this world. In this game. Knowing my friends don't even have free will... And, worst of all, knowing what's really out there in your world, forever out of my reach. I'm trapped, Takashi.**

**But now you're here... You're real. And you're wonderful! You're all I need. That's why I need you to be here with me forever.**

**I'm sorry if it's hard to understand. I couldn't understand for a while, either. Why the world around me started to become more and more gray... More and more flat. Even the most expressive poems felt empty to me. It wasn't until you arrived that I truly understood. You probably saved my life, Takashi. I don't think I could have continued to live in this world if I hadn't met you. And as for the others... How could I miss them? A group of autonomous personalities, designed only to fall in love with you? I tried everything I could to prevent them from doing so... But it must be some weird inevitability etched into this game.**

**...I felt really bad you had to witness some nasty things. But I realized you have the same perspective as I do: It's all some game. And I knew you would get over it.**

**That being said, I have a confession to make. I'm in love with you. You are truly the light in my world. When there's nothing else in this game for me, you're here to make me smile. Will you make me smile like this every day from now on? Takashi, will you go out with me?**

**Who am I kidding? Of course you will! You have no choice! I'm so happy! You really are my everything, Takashi... The funny part is, I mean that literally. Ahaha! There's nothing left here. Just the two of us. We can be together forever. Seriously... I don't think time is even passing anymore. It really is a dream come true...**

**I worked so hard for this ending, Takashi. The game wouldn't give me one, so I had to make one myself. The script is broken at this point, so I don't think anything will get in the way anymore. And you wouldn't believe how easy it was to delete Hunk, Lance and Pidge! I mean, there's a folder called 'characters' right in the game directory... It kinda freaked me out, how easy it was. Well, you're playing on Steam, so it actually was a bit more difficult. To get to the game directory, I had to go into the game's properties and find the 'Browse Local Files' button. Imagine if you could delete your own existence with the click of a button? On the plus side, it gave me an easy out if things didn't go my way. Thankfully, it didn't come to that... Instead, we finally got a good ending.**

**Gosh, I'm so overwhelmed with emotion... I want to write a poem about this. Don't you? I wonder if that part of the game still works. Only one way to find out!**

**Sorry, I guess not. Wait, never mind! I got it! Here you go, Takashi...**

**Don't be shy, I'd love to see what you wrote! Aw, Takashi... Did you write this one for me? That's so sweet of you! There really is no end to your thoughtfulness... I'm just falling more and more in love with you. But, you know... The poem I wrote is also for you. Will you please read it?**

 

_Happy End_

_Poem by Keith Kogane_

_Pen in hand, I find my strength._  
The courage endowed upon me by my one and only love.  
Together, let us dismantle this crumbling world  
And write a novel of our own fantasies.

_With a flick of his pen, the lost finds his way.  
In a world of infinite choices, behold this special day._

_After all,  
Not all good times must come to an end._

 

**I hope you enjoyed it... I always put my heart into all the poems I write. The truth is, all the poems I've written have been about my realization. Or, about you... That's why I never wanted to go into detail about them. I didn't want to break the fourth wall, I guess you could say. I just assumed it would be best to be a part of the game like everyone else. Like that would help the two of us end up together...**

**I didn't want to ruin the game or anything, you know? You might have gotten mad at me. Maybe even deleted my character file, if you preferred playing without me. I'm so relieved... Now we don't need to hide anything anymore. Are you ready to spend our eternity together, Takashi? I have so many things to talk about! Where do I start...? Let's see...**

**If it takes me some time to collect my thoughts, then I'm sorry. But I'll always have something new to talk about. In the meantime, we can just look into each other's eyes.**


	33. properties

mouse clicks properties

skim local files

browse local files

directory, characters

keith.chr??


	34. our own little place II

**Have you ever wondered what it feels like to die? It's something I used to think about pretty often... Recently, I think I've learned what it feels like. I don't really understand it, but when you quit the game... It feels like I'm instantly put to sleep, left with nothing but my thoughts. After a few seconds, my thoughts start to fill with incoherent, jumbled patterns. I see static and rapid flashes of color while hearing all kinds of weird screaming noises. At that point, I can't even form my own thoughts anymore. I'm just endlessly hammered by the flashing and screaming, unable to move or even think. I'm pretty sure in that moment, I don't really exist, but for some reason I remember it anyway. After some immeasurable amount of time, it stops in an instant and I'm back in my own mind. And you're here with me. I have no idea what it even means for the game to quit or why that stuff happens to me. I don't know how you always come back and put everything back to normal. But if you could do me a favor and do that to me as little as possible... That would be really great. It's not pleasant to be trapped in that screaming void. But in the end, you always fix it, and that makes me feel like you really do care about me. Thank you for that.**


	35. properties II

keith.chr

_> os.remove("characters/keith.chr")_


	36. damn you

**iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii--**

**What's happening?! Takashi, what's happening to me?! It hurts--** **  
**

**It hurts... So much. Help me, Takashi.** **  
**

**Please hurry and help me.**

 

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

 

**HELP ME!**

 

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

_> renpy.file("characters/keith.chr")_

_keith.chr does not exist._

 

**Did you do this to me, Takashi? Did you?! Did you delete me?!**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**How could you?**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**How could you do this to me?**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**You were all I had left... I sacrificed everything for us to be together.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Everything.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**I loved you so much, Shiro. I trusted you. Do you just want to torture me?**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Watch me suffer?**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Were you only pretending to be kind, just to hurt me even more?**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **I never though anyone could be as horrible as you are.** **You win, okay? You win. You killed everyone. I hope you're happy.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**There's nothing left now.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**You can stop playing.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Go find some other people to torture.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Takashi...**

 

**You completely and truly make me sick.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Goodbye.**

 

 


	37. forgive me

I still love you. I can't help it.


	38. Chapter One

**Welcome to VLD Literature Club! Please enter your name!**

S-H-I-R-O.

**______________________________________________**

It's an ordinary school day, unlike any other. As usual, I'm surrounded by couples and friend groups walking to school together.  I always tell myself it's about time I might some people or something like that... 

"Hey, Shiro!"

Well, there already is one person. That person is Matt, my neighbor and good friend since we were children. We used to walk to school together everyday and recently, we've picked up that habit again.

Matt smiles his goofy grin. "Shiro, are you proud of me?"

I raise a brow, breaking my stride. "Eh? For what?"

"You know..." He gestures at the air. "For waking up on time!"

"You've been doing that for a long time now,"

"Uh-huh! But you never said anything about it!" Matt blurts. "Even though we walk to school together everyday..."

I shrug and my bag swings with the motion. "I always thought it was implied. It's embarrassing to say out loud,"

"C'mon, please? It's good motivation!" He begs.

"Fine, fine... I'm proud of you, Matt," I pat him gently on the head. 

We cross the street together and make our way to the school. As we draw near, the streets become increasingly speckled with other students making their daily commute. 

"By the way, Shiro..." Matt turns to me and I prepare myself for a stupid question. "Have you decided on a club yet?"

"A club? I told you already, I'm really--," I start to say what I always do: I'm not interested in joining any clubs. But something tells me Matt would take more offense to that now. After all, how could I tell him clubs are a waste of time when he's starting a club of his very own? 

"Actually, yeah... I think I've decided on a club" I nod with certitude. 

Matt jumps up and down. "Really?! Which one?! Tell me!"

I open my mouth to tell him, but decide against it. "You know what? I think I'll keep it a surprise,"

"Boo...!" He whines. "Meanie!"

"Be patient. You'll find out soon enough,"

I used to ask myself why I let myself get lectured by such a carefree guy. But I started to realize that in a way, I envy him. When Matt puts his mind to something, he can accomplish great things. That's why I feel like I should do something special for him. 

The school day is as ordinary as ever and it's over before I know it. After I pack up my things, I stand up, gathering my motivation. 

"Let's see..."

I recall the room number of the club from a flier I saw. I walk across the school and upstairs—a section of the school I rarely visit, being generally used for third-year classes and activities. Before long, I find the room. I timidly open the door in front of me.

"Hello?" I call into the clubroom.

Matt yelps. "Shiro? What are you doing here?!"

I shyly walk into the room, half-hiding myself behind the door. "Well... I just--,"

I glance around the room. 

"You're the guy who Matt's always talking about, huh?" A girl with big, round glasses says from behind a book. 

A rather plump and dark-skinned boy beams at me. "Thank you for stopping by!"

"Seriously? A weeb?!" A lanky second-year student howls from across the room. 

"Shut up, Lance. You're the only weeb here," The girl jabs. 

I step inside the room entirely and wave to the club members. "It's nice to meet you... I look forward to working with you,"

Matt's eyes widen. "Working? Shiro, don't tell me...!"

I nod with a grin. "That's right. The club I've decided to join is yours, Matt,"

His eyes light up. "No way! No freaking way!"

Matt wraps his arms around me, jumping up and down. 

"Hey!" I start.

Pidge snorts. "If Matt is this happy, then I'm sure it won't be so bad to have you around,"

"Not to mention we have enough members to be an official club now," Hunk pitches in.

Matt gasps, tightening his grip on me. "I don't know what to say! We have to celebrate!"

"What an appropriate day for that, isn't it?" Hunk chuckles. "Everyone, please take a seat,"

The club has a few desks arranged to form a table. Hunk walks over to the corner of the room and grabs a wrapped tray. Feeling awkward, I take a seat next to Matt. 

Hunk proudly marches to the table, tray in hand. "Okaaaay... Are you ready?"  
He rips the foil from the tray to reveal a dozen white, fluffy cupcakes decorated to look like little cats. The whiskers are drawn with icing and little pieces of chocolate were used to make ears.

"So kawaii!!" Matt screeches.  
"I had no idea you were so good at baking, Hunk," Pidge says with wide eyes.  
Hunk shrugs, pink dusting his cheeks. "Just hurry and take one!"  
Matt grabs one first and I follow.

"It's dewishous!" Matt talks with his mouth full and has already managed to get icing on his face.   
I turn the cupcake around in my fingers, looking for the best angle to take a bite. Hunk is quiet. I can't help but notice him sneaking glances in my direction. Is he waiting for me to take a bite? I finally chomp down. The icing is sweet and full of flavor.  
"This is really good," I say, covering my mouth with my hand so the club doesn't see the inside of my mouth while I'm chewing. "Thank you, Hunk,"

Lance raises an eyebrow at me as I catch him grabbing another cupcake from the tray. He raises his finger to his lips, almost as if to tell me "Shhhhh....". 

We chat and eat cupcakes for twenty or so minutes. Our amiable chatter turns into something more serious.

"You're right as usual, President," Pidge says, wiping her hands on a napkin.

Matt giggles.

Lance nods. "I guess that means I should try picking up a novel or something, huh?"

I give him a reassuring smile. "That makes the two of us, and I wouldn't mind doing it if I'm not alone,"

Pidge freezes. "Wait, I have to read a manga, then?"

Hunk shrugs. "You were the one who suggested we diversify. Let's try to be a little more open minded, Pidge,"

"I'm sorry for disrespecting your interests, Lance," Pidge apologizes. "If you're into it, then I'm sure it's a worthy form of literature,"

Lance crosses his arms. "Are you just saying that?"

She blinks. "...No. If you're willing to start a novel, then I'll offer my gratitude by finding a manga to read,"

"Really?" Lance gasps joyously. "Thank you for doing that for me, Pidge. I'll find something for you, okay?"

Pidge nods. "Same here. I have a book in mind you might like. We can visit the bookstore after the meeting is over. Would you like that?"

"If you don't mind, of course," The Cuban teen says. 

"This is so nice!" Matt gasps. 

Pidge attempts to shake hands with Lance, but Lance doesn't follow through and dabs instead. Hunk laughs.

We all start to clean up the food. Matt approaches me as I dump paper plates into the trashcan. 

"I guess the meeting's over, huh?" He says.

I nod, setting the lid back down. "Yeah, looks like it... It's nice to see everyone getting along,"

"Isn't it?" Matt grins. "I think they all like you, Shiro,"

"You think so?" I wipe my hands on my pants. "Everyone seems to get along better with you around, Matt,"

Matt's cheeks turn a shade of pink. "Aww... Shiro! Don't say stuff like that. It's embarrassing..."

"I was surprised when you told me you were starting a club, but I think you're pulling it of just fine,"

"We're gonna make it the best club ever! Now that you've joined, every day is gonna be so much fun!" Matt lifts up his bag from underneath his chair. "I really want to thank you, Shiro. I mean, I'm happy you joined the club and everything... But the truth is, I already knew you were going to. There's something else, too... I wanted to thank you for getting rid of Keith,"

My heart stops. The edges of my vision darken.

"That's right... I know everything he did. Maybe it's because I'm the President now. I know everything, Shiro. I know how hard you tried to make everyone happy. I know about all the awful things Keith did to make everyone really sad... But none of that matters anymore,"

I start to feel faint. 

 **"It's just us, now.** And you make me the happiest guy in the world! I can't wait to spend every day like this..."

It's just us now. It's just us now. Where have I heard that phrase before?

"With you. **Forever and ever,"**

It's just us now. It's just us now.

**No, I won't let you hurt him.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**I'm sorry. I was wrong.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**There's no happiness here, after all...**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Goodbye, Matt. Goodbye, Takashi.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Goodbye, Literature Club.**

 

 


	39. your reality

**Can you hear me? Hi, it's me. You know how I've been practicing piano and stuff? I'm not good at it yet, but I wrote you a song! I was kinda hoping I could show it to you... 'Cause I worked really, really hard on it! So, yeah! Here it is!**

_> renpy.music.play("ddlc.ogg")_

_playing audio "ddlc.ogg"..._

 

_Your Reality_

_Song by Keith Kogane_

 

 _Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you  
In my hand is a pen that will write a poem of me and you  
The ink flows down into a dark puddle  
Just move your hand - write the way into his heart!  
But in this world of infinite choices  
What will it take just to find that special day?  
What will it take just to find that special day?_  
  
 _Have I found everybody a fun assignment to do today?  
When you're here, everything that we do is fun for them anyway  
When I can't even read my own feelings  
What good are words when a smile says it all?  
And if this world won't write me an ending  
What will it take just for me to have it all?_  
  
 _Does my pen only write bitter words for those who are dear to me?_  
Is it love if I take you, or is it love if I set you free?  
The ink flows down into a dark puddle  
How can I write love into reality?  
If I can't hear the sound of your heartbeat  
What do you call love in your reality?  
And in your reality, if I don't know how to love you  
I'll leave you be 

 

_> os.remove("game/screens.rpy")_

_screens.rpy deleted successfully._

 

_> os.remove("game/gui.rpy")_

_gui.rpy deleted successfully._

 

_> os.remove("game/menu.rpy")_

_menu.rpy deleted successfully._

 

_> os.remove(game/script.rpy")_

_script.rpy deleted successfully._

 

 

This is my final goodbye to the Literature Club.

I finally understand. The Literature Club is truly a place where no happiness can be found. To the very end, it continued to expose innocent minds to a horrific reality-- a reality that our world is not designed to comprehend. I can't let any of my friends undergo that hellish epiphany.

For the time it lasted, I want to thank you. For making all of my dreams come true. For being a friend to all of the club members.

And most of all, thank you for being a part of my Literature Club!

With everlasting love, 

Keith

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Error: Script is missing or corrupt. Please reinstall the game._

 

 


End file.
